Comments About Cheyenne30 9

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  mmckean on 12/24/2012

  Merry Christmas :)
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  mmckean on 11/21/2012

  Your writing is terrible! You need to take some writing courses.
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  f-ceska on 09/03/2012

  Hello and thank you for your comments on the Forward of The Gospels. It's true that if you haven't read any of the gospel stories that I've written, this may come across as less of a story than the others, and more of an introduction to them, but this is in fact what it is. I uploaded it mainly so that anyone who has read the gospels would have the complete 'book'. I believe, however, that it can stand alone, as it gives an overview to a futuristic distopia and post apocalyptic Europe, pulled into balance by the existence of a so-called prophet, or saviour, and it will be interesting to see what other people have to say about this too.
  
  It would be useful if you pointed out the miss-spellings you have seen. It's quite possible I may have missed one or two though I'm usually quite pedantic about spell-checking (being an ex-English teacher and writer of English grammar books). Perhaps the spellings you noticed were the British English variations? Many words are spelled differently in the US so you may not be familiar with the way English people write.
  
  Thanks again and good luck with your work.
  
  Francesca

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Comments About Cheyenne30 9

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  mmckean on 12/24/2012

  Merry Christmas :)
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  mmckean on 11/21/2012

  Your writing is terrible! You need to take some writing courses.
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  f-ceska on 09/03/2012

  Hello and thank you for your comments on the Forward of The Gospels. It's true that if you haven't read any of the gospel stories that I've written, this may come across as less of a story than the others, and more of an introduction to them, but this is in fact what it is. I uploaded it mainly so that anyone who has read the gospels would have the complete 'book'. I believe, however, that it can stand alone, as it gives an overview to a futuristic distopia and post apocalyptic Europe, pulled into balance by the existence of a so-called prophet, or saviour, and it will be interesting to see what other people have to say about this too.
  
  It would be useful if you pointed out the miss-spellings you have seen. It's quite possible I may have missed one or two though I'm usually quite pedantic about spell-checking (being an ex-English teacher and writer of English grammar books). Perhaps the spellings you noticed were the British English variations? Many words are spelled differently in the US so you may not be familiar with the way English people write.
  
  Thanks again and good luck with your work.
  
  Francesca
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  Rich Berry on 07/03/2012

  Please forgive the delay in thanking you for the review of Night Moves. Been months since I've been on this site.
  
  You inquired about my possibly expanding the story e.g. Jack's post-war life (if he survives), what happens with Donna, etc.. Night Moves is an interpretation of the Bob Seger song and so it must stay within the confines of his lyrics. FYI Seger never said his song had anything to do with Vietnam, that's just my interpretation.
  
  The first verses of his song are similar to my story. Then it breaks to his reflecting on his past.
  
  "I woke last night to the sound of thunder": My Jack hears the sounds of war in his daydream and is jolted back to grim reality.
  
  "How far off I sat and wondered": Jack is getting his bearings, clearing his head.
  
  "Started humming a song from 1962": Jack sings a song from 1965, unconsciously trying to connect with the innocent high school kid he was just 2 yrs. earlier.
  
  "Ain't it funny how the night moves": Stress, fear and the jungle play tricks with the senses.
  
  "When you just don't seem to have as much to lose": Jack's resigned to the fact that he could die any minute and there's nothing he can do about it.
  
  "With autumn closing in": A kid just 2 yrs. ago but he will be an old man emotionally by the time his tour of duty is over. Moving toward the autumn of his life.
  
  Thanks again for the review.
  Rich
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  vieira4 on 02/03/2012

  Hey, thanks for the review. I am very glad that you enjoyed the story. Happy to clear up a few of the confusing elements of the story! Before I do, let me say to readers of Cheyenne's comments - spoiler alert. If you have "Devolution" in your assignments, probably better not read this until you've read the story!
  
  The central point of the story is the mystery of Stephen Akwasi's true identity, but I've discovered from my reviews - to my delight - that you don't really need to crack it to enjoy it. You'll notice at the end that Connor (who is the captain of Mostatyn Rangers, not the head of the Welsh FA!) calls Stephen 'Mario'. People who follow football would probably already have figured out, by that point, that 'Stephen' is actually a Ghanaian-Italian footballer called Mario Balotelli.
  
  Balotelli plays for Manchester City in the English Premier League, so I figured that if he played for a minor league Welsh team and nobody found out, he wouldn't get into trouble. In the story, Connor was the only person to figure out who he was, but I think that's quite fanciful, actually, as Balotelli is one of the game's biggest stars. I just wanted to write a "what if?" kind of story.
  
  Balotelli is banned at the moment because he allegedly stamped on Tottenham's Scott Parker. He says it was an accident (he was being pushed in the back by Luka Modric and trying to get his balance) and the video evidence is inconclusive. (Some people reading this comment will violently disagree with me on that - if that's you, I apologise, but to me, the fact that everybody is arguing about it shows that nothing is certain!) Manchester City didn't appeal the charge of violent conduct because if they failed, the FA had the power to extend the ban from four matches to five. This is a stupid rule IMO, but never mind. The next game Balotelli is eligible to play in will be the Europa League match against Porto, in Portugal, on 16 February.
  
  Balotelli has a reputation for doing odd things. It's not known how many of the stories are true, but he is meant to have written off an £110,000 Audi in one day, paid for the petrol of everybody waiting at the garage as well as his own, and given £1,000 to a homeless guy outside a casino. I therefore figured that he would do something as weird as driving over the border and playing football in Wales while banned. When Connor refers to "why always me?" at the end, he's talking about a T-shirt that Balotelli showed to the cameras after scoring against Manchester United in October - apparently disputing the validity of some of the stories about him. It is well documented and proven, however, that he set fire to his house by lighting fireworks in the bathroom, and put £200 in a church collection plate at Christmas :D
  
  I probably just gave you too much information, but I hope this makes everything clear!
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  Tripsheet Revision on 02/02/2012

  Thanks for taking the time to read and review The Hill Wife. I'm gratified that you enjoyed it.
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  MaxWatt on 11/30/2011

  MaxWatt wrote:

  Hey. What's with the eligibility test? I just scored under 66% when I'm damn sure I knew all the answers. There has to be something wrong with that. Sorry, but I feel a bit like I've been robbed of my time here.

  
  
  I see that two others have passed the eligibility thing, and I apologize for making such rash judgements. I was just confused, guess I just screwed something up. Oh well. again, good luck to you.
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  MaxWatt on 11/30/2011

  Hey. What's with the eligibility test? I just scored under 66% when I'm damn sure I knew all the answers. There has to be something wrong with that. Sorry, but I feel a bit like I've been robbed of my time here.
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  f-ceska on 11/28/2011

  Thank you for your review of 'Demeter and Persephone'. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
  Francesca

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