Comments About ErcSteele 2

• 
  Quote

  Craig Rosenthal on 12/03/2011

  Hi,
  
  thanks for your detailed review of Killer App. I appreciate the time and energy you invested in reading it and giving me your constructive notes.
  
  I'm going to consolidate all reviewer comments then work on the next draft.
  
  Thanks again.
  
  Craig
• 
  Quote

  tbteixeira on 11/30/2011

  Hi,
  
  Thanks for your review on 'The Circular Window'. There's some problems with the translation, as some other users also noted, and i'm getting a new translation for the next draft, sorry about that (I think the overuse of 'they' in descriptions was a by-product of that too)!
  
  Your review has some great insights, I'll try to address some of them:
  
  - You're right, that fat policeman is a bit of a cliché.
  - On p. 9, I thought that Claire always knew that Rube was always watching her.
  - About the scissors: I think that Berenice motivations and personality need to be explained in a clearer way, showing that she became mad and dehumanized for the time she was stuck to her bed.
  - Hey, first reader that got the HPL reference :)
  - The rude detective is a constant behavior of brazilian cops, maybe he needs to be more suspicious than rude.
  - Claire Forlani was a surprise. In portuguese the character was named 'Clara', meaning 'Clear', I didn't remembered the actress...
  - Berenice torching the house was a plan to steal Danielle and make the police think that she is dead. Maybe is not a very good plan...
  - The script was set in Brazil and written in portuguese, I'll move it to the states...
  - Berenice feels the pain, but she doesn't care. I think it have to be better explained, my idea was that she enjoyed any physical sensation to the extreme, even pain. Gotta work on that.
  
  Thank you a lot, it was a great review. Would you be interested in reading a new version, when I get it done? I could get in touch, if you wish.
  
  Best,

Write a Comment

Comments About ErcSteele 2

• 
  Quote

  Craig Rosenthal on 12/03/2011

  Hi,
  
  thanks for your detailed review of Killer App. I appreciate the time and energy you invested in reading it and giving me your constructive notes.
  
  I'm going to consolidate all reviewer comments then work on the next draft.
  
  Thanks again.
  
  Craig
• 
  Quote

  tbteixeira on 11/30/2011

  Hi,
  
  Thanks for your review on 'The Circular Window'. There's some problems with the translation, as some other users also noted, and i'm getting a new translation for the next draft, sorry about that (I think the overuse of 'they' in descriptions was a by-product of that too)!
  
  Your review has some great insights, I'll try to address some of them:
  
  - You're right, that fat policeman is a bit of a cliché.
  - On p. 9, I thought that Claire always knew that Rube was always watching her.
  - About the scissors: I think that Berenice motivations and personality need to be explained in a clearer way, showing that she became mad and dehumanized for the time she was stuck to her bed.
  - Hey, first reader that got the HPL reference :)
  - The rude detective is a constant behavior of brazilian cops, maybe he needs to be more suspicious than rude.
  - Claire Forlani was a surprise. In portuguese the character was named 'Clara', meaning 'Clear', I didn't remembered the actress...
  - Berenice torching the house was a plan to steal Danielle and make the police think that she is dead. Maybe is not a very good plan...
  - The script was set in Brazil and written in portuguese, I'll move it to the states...
  - Berenice feels the pain, but she doesn't care. I think it have to be better explained, my idea was that she enjoyed any physical sensation to the extreme, even pain. Gotta work on that.
  
  Thank you a lot, it was a great review. Would you be interested in reading a new version, when I get it done? I could get in touch, if you wish.
  
  Best,

Write a Comment