Schism83 

member since 11/07/2011 | last login 07/25/2014

I'm short, my eyes are too close together, and, when I stand up quickly, my knees pop really loud. I'm terrible at love, sports, and beer pong, and I'm obssessed with the off-brand of 'Hot Cheetos' - 'Hot Fries'. To top it...

Bio

I'm short, my eyes are too close together, and, when I stand up quickly, my knees pop really loud. I'm terrible at love, sports, and beer pong, and I'm obssessed with the off-brand of 'Hot Cheetos' - 'Hot Fries'. To top it all off, I suffer from a lovely, malevolent curse - I'm convinced I'm a writer. So, I guess we'll see just how steep the stars are stacked against me. Keep the pen moving!

Submissions by Schism83

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Reviews by Schism83 65

  • A review of Aswang Abomination
    by Schism83 on 07/15/2014
    Hello, hello. I just read 'Aswang' and here are my thoughts and comments. I liked this story. It's written in an overly simple voice and style, one that I thought I would quickly tire of, but it's consistency and frankness turned out to be intriguing and comforting. It was a throwback to basic, childhood stories, something around the campfire or under the sheets with flashlights... read
  • A review of Susan's Story
    by Schism83 on 06/09/2013
    Hey, Morris! Just read "Susan's Story" and here are my thoughts and comments. This is a good read. While there are elements at play that are commonplace and border cliche, you handle them in a very sincere and honest way which lends a fresh quality and intrique to the overall narrative. You have some great physical description and also some really good, very human moments... read
  • by Schism83 on 05/27/2013
    Hey, Filmfam. Just read 'The Old Man's Painting' and here are my thoughts. I thought this was a really nice story, but it just didn't work for me. It was too quaint and 'feel-good' for my taste. The dialogue felt unrealistic, the narrator's thoughts and habits repetitive, and the overall story glossy and overtly sappy. While I didn't like it, though, I decided to review... read
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Comments About Schism83 49

  • bobbyphoto on 06/11/2014

    Hey, I'd like to discuss making a short film from one of your stoires. Reach out if you are interested...Thanks! RM
  • Michael Leath on 03/31/2013

    Thank you for reviewing Missive. I have a rule that if I have to explain my point-of-view then I have missed on the writing because I cannot be there to explain to everyone who reads it. Then I was not clear, and there is fault in the writing.

    But this will break that rule for once just for the sake of discussion.

    I wrote this in a three act play style, using the benign style of camera direction in a screenplay. The second act - which you rightly pointed out was different, was done so on purpose. The idea behind it was for you to wear her skin and feel her infirmity during that sequence.

    Admittedly I may have missed that mark. This is something new I am trying to divide a story up and manipulate each segment for maximum effect. To be sure this was a melodramatic story.

    Thanks again for the thoughts. I will go back to the drawing board and rethink this. Or I may be thinking too much here. As the people on the screenplay side of TSL have beat sheets and discuss their work in aspects which deliver a whole, I am attempting to find the components that make a good story and see if I can deliver in a more methodical way.

    But I sure appreciate you looking at this and offering your true thoughts.

    ~
    M
  • Michael Leath on 03/29/2013

    Thank you for your review of Julia. I appreciate the effort you put in to explain your position on the story. it surely isn't for everyone. I'll consider your thoughts on the subject if I choose to rewrite. I haven't decided if that will occur.

    Looking forward to be assigned something of yours to read and review.

    Pound the keys....
    M
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