avinnovations
member since 02/01/2005 |
last login 03/21/2013
Thank you Elmore Leonard, whom I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude. I may not enjoy his stories but his critique and willingness to forward his experience will never be forgotten....
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Thank you Elmore Leonard, whom I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude. I may not enjoy his stories but his critique and willingness to forward his experience will never be forgotten.
Submissions by avinnovations
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Reviews by avinnovations 11
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A review of marriage online take twoby avinnovations on 02/28/2005A cute story? Yes. But your word usage and dialouge were somewhat confusing, and overall your sentence structure was unsatisfactory. You frequently misused puncuation marks rather than question marks, periods instead ofquestion marks, vice versa. Scene desciptions and dialoguesuffered with improper word usage, example: Page 42. INT. DEPARTMENTSTORY. It should be, DEPARTMENT... read -
A review of Fathers Sons And A Holy Ghost (Rev)by avinnovations on 02/12/2005You're choice of outlining the story with an omnicient character was a great choice since everyone seems too be hiding behind a first-person format, which loses the esence of your broad timeline. Insightful narrative with a unique story, it was worth certainly worth reading. If I were to offer you any advice, I would lose your ghostly characters who seemed somewhat trivial... read
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A review of Goopby avinnovations on 02/11/2005Besides some basic flaws in gramar and developing your character, it wasn't bad. If you're intention is bringing it to the big screen, then you should probably slim down the foul language. R rated comedies usually don't sell as well as PG-13. If you can possibly condense the screenplay, that's also a perk for additional script reviewers.
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