BRYY_MILLER

Needs to separate itself from the real world.

by BRYY_MILLER on 04/26/2011

Center your title. Also, no "A parody by". Either "by", or "written by". The dialogue is clever, witty, and feels real. You actually made characters and plots, where others would just do "haha The Real World haha" (I've read a load of these types of plays before). But worse is that they never treat it as a play; they adopt the television format for the stage. This, sir or... read

Historical banter with no real hook.

A review of Napoleon and Josephine at Breakfast

by BRYY_MILLER on 03/30/2011

First off, don't start numbering until the actual text. If the characters are not speaking, and yet an action is taking place, that is a stage direction. It also may do good to have a bit of introductory dialogue before you get into the monologues of "New Caesar" and such. Remember, WE don't know what is going on. We don't know they are dead. We know nothing. This looks... read

WONA.

A review of WONA

by BRYY_MILLER on 03/29/2011

The play really didn't make any sense. I understand that it is existentialism, but it just seems like BAD existentialism. The kind that says "this is a metaphor, go with it". Yes, while things DO just happen in existentialist pieces, nothing "just happens": the purpose needs to be clear, and not at the level of a cerebral in-joke. The scenes go by way too fast. We can't catch... read

HELENVILLE.

A review of Trouble In Helenville

by BRYY_MILLER on 03/29/2011

For a political piece, this seemed to waver between not wanting to get "into it" (by having only a few characters) and wanting to dive right in (GW Bush's trial). I think you need to figure out exactly what the root of the play is. The tit-for-tat between Lisimba and Helen seems to be the real meat here, their power struggle. But I would give Lisimba some faults, too; Helen... read

Indiana Jones and the Cthulhu of Doom

A review of H.P. Lovecraft's The Dunwich Horror (revised)

by BRYY_MILLER on 03/23/2011

The action is very well-written, but it is also over-written. This is not a short story, this is a movie script. You also need to properly list your scene headings. For instance: LIVINA'S BEDROOM AT THE WHATELY MANSION should read WHATELY MANSION - LIVINA'S BEDROOM Put parenthesis on a separate line from dialogue. The dialogue is brilliant. It's not vague, like most people... read

Throwback to 1980's high school comedies.

A review of Merely Freshmen

by BRYY_MILLER on 03/17/2011

You have some format issues, such as not introducing character names in the script itself, but rather through dialogue. Indicate what is a flashback and what isn't (in the scene headings). You also need to cut down on the narration and VOs (both are different "features"), as a lot of it is superfluous and only bogs down the lightning pace of this script. Also, the music:... read

Over-formatted, overly-descriptive.

A review of The Mouse House

by BRYY_MILLER on 03/03/2011

FORMAT: * Don't have a fancy title. A simple "_____" underscore "By _____" is simple enough. You also don't need to list the play's name more than once (unless it's a header). * Don't start numbering your pages until the text starts. * Maybe bold the character names only in dialogue? Otherwise, with the CHARACTER, PARENTHESIS, and DIALOGUE all bolded, it is really hard... read

The best horror is unexpected.

A review of Of Wolf and Man

by BRYY_MILLER on 03/01/2011

* Page 1: Don't need an insert if it's on a sign. * Page 5: Don't act like the Dartboard and Pool Table are scene headings. Describe them. They are part of the existing scenery. * Page 12: The psuedo-flashback that Dave gets tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about him. I love how your script is one big cat and mouse game with the audience. It's a thriller that makes us... read

A good play with bad formatting.

A review of Darling Little Wife

by BRYY_MILLER on 02/28/2011

FORMAT: Don't start numbering the pages until the actual text starts. Dialogue should not be separated. It should all rest on the same line. Also, you might want to spell out your character names, it might be easier to read. As well, parenthesis indicating tone and intent should be before dialogue. OVERALL: It's a solid play, but the formatting just needs to be fixed... read

Pot Narnia, a one-act in disguise.

A review of Please Don't Bury Me

by BRYY_MILLER on 02/27/2011

FORMAT: Make a cast list. Put it on the same page as the setting and prop list. Don't start page numbering until the actual text starts. CONTENT: SCENE 1: Way too short. I know you most likely meant this to be foreshadowing, but we need some more substance here. Surely you can move some of the scene 2 dialogue here? SCENE 2: McDonald's will need to be changed to either... read

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Reviews by BRYY_MILLER 64

Comments About BRYY_MILLER 29

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