member since 12/30/2002 | last login 02/07/2013

Australian born, Canadian raised. Work as a criminal lawyer (prosecutor) in Vancouver for a decade or so....


Australian born, Canadian raised. Work as a criminal lawyer (prosecutor) in Vancouver for a decade or so.

Submissions by clovenhoof

Reviews by clovenhoof 85

  • A review of NECTAR
    by clovenhoof on 06/26/2012
    This was a highly imaginative, and really quite beautiful story. I only have a couple of quibbles with it. The first is with the formatting. You've put in some camera directions, and extended the length of the script somewhat artificially by breaking up some of your descriptions into one-line paragraphs (with a line space following) where you should just have a two-line,... read
  • A review of Stoned Dead
    by clovenhoof on 05/31/2012
    I don't normally comment on formatting issues that much in my reviews (there are lots of users who are much better at it than me), but really there are a lot of problems here. What you've essentially done is taken about 60 pages of material and stretched it out to 96 by the constant "CUT TOs". There are sequences, such as the part from page 63 through 65, that really should... read
  • A review of River's Crossing
    by clovenhoof on 11/16/2011
    You're going to get a lot of criticism from other reviewers on your narrative description in the script. I'm not going to dwell on that, I'll just say that whatever other people say is probably right. This script reads more like a novel than a screenplay. Two examples from page 1 are enough for me: "A stunned beat." Okay. How exactly does the director shoot that? It's... read
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Comments About clovenhoof 55

  • **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/07/2012

    Thank you. I come across like Chris Christie. You come across like Lincoln.
  • shedenbo on 08/06/2012

    Hi, there. No worries. I've long since taken the lessons to heart, so those are two fewer things that can happen to me now. Hope things going well with you.
  • **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/14/2012

    Excellent notes, thank you so much. I never mind getting beat over the head when it comes to helpful advice ;) And this will be very helpful when I do my next rewrite on it.

    Thanks again,
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