Comments About ComicsGn 11

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  nick74 on 06/12/2011

  'Preciate your time and your review on Void Touchers, man. Good stuff.
  
  Nick
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  MaxWatt on 06/11/2011

  Many thanks for the review. I'm also a huge Carver fan, I guess the influence shows. Very encouraging. Thanks.
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 11/19/2009

  ComicsGn ~ In my opinion, you either need to make a point of who it is, or a point of who it isn't. Otherwise, for me at least, it slips right by, which is tragic because it's the point of the whole story. The bit of philosophy that you included in your explanation to me makes perfect sense, but in the story I don't think it was said quite clearly enough. In a world where the Impersonal, plus Time, plus Chance seems to dictate so much of what happens to so many, then I think your intended ending is effective, but it needs, I think, to be unveiled a bit less cryptically. Thanks again for the chance to read it, I think it's potentially quite powerful. Tom

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Comments About ComicsGn 11

• 
  Quote

  nick74 on 06/12/2011

  'Preciate your time and your review on Void Touchers, man. Good stuff.
  
  Nick
• 
  Quote

  MaxWatt on 06/11/2011

  Many thanks for the review. I'm also a huge Carver fan, I guess the influence shows. Very encouraging. Thanks.
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 11/19/2009

  ComicsGn ~ In my opinion, you either need to make a point of who it is, or a point of who it isn't. Otherwise, for me at least, it slips right by, which is tragic because it's the point of the whole story. The bit of philosophy that you included in your explanation to me makes perfect sense, but in the story I don't think it was said quite clearly enough. In a world where the Impersonal, plus Time, plus Chance seems to dictate so much of what happens to so many, then I think your intended ending is effective, but it needs, I think, to be unveiled a bit less cryptically. Thanks again for the chance to read it, I think it's potentially quite powerful. Tom
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  Glenn Hawkins on 11/17/2009

  Her delusion at the end perfectly made the story. Keep it.
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  Glenn Hawkins on 11/16/2009

  The lines don’t tip me off to anything.
  Why do you think the two lines are useful? The don’t do anything for the story, but all the other lines do. The lines are just bad.
  
  You have studied every minor detail again and again. You know the body of the story and ending. The sentence would make sense to you, but not to the reader. He just arrived. The sentence is very confusing.
  I’ll show you how his mind works.
  
  I’ve recited the phrase (WHAT PHRASE) so many time in my head that it’s genuine quality (GENUINE QUALITY? CONFUSING, UNUSUAL, POOR USE) is shredding layers (WHAT DOES SHREDDING LAYERS MEAN?) faster than I can grow them (WHAT ARE LAYERS) (HOW DO YOU GROW THEM?). . . almost to the degree that I’m doubting my on innocence.
  
  You shouldn’t ever make a reader struggle to understand a sentence.
  
  If you ever told me what ‘phase’ was I missed it. If you did explain, it was too far into the story and my mind was not going to turn around and backtrack to the second sentence of the story.
  
  Your sentence might be explained something like this, or any of a million ways so long as it was a clear and simple beginning:
  
  Doubts and words about my guilt, or innocents kept racing through my mind, until their meaning has lost all emotional effect. Now I’m doubting myself.
  
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  Leemanchee on 09/24/2009

  Hi
  
  Thanks for taking the time to read and review 'Daydreamer'.
  
  Thanks for the compliments and pointers.
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 02/12/2009

  Ah, go easy on old ceasosaosll (sp?), he's just like the rest of us. Don't we all lack things to say at work so that we force a bunch of assholes we don't know to read our wildly unoriginal, cliched bullshit; which, I will openly acknowledge, they wouldn't read if they didn't have some sick compulsion to to post their own miserable crap (re: the vicious cycle).
  
  It's sad really, each of us sitting in front of our computer screens hoping against all odds like the poor kid on christmas. We maybe sober, we maybe drunk , either way we shamelessly plead with our God of Gods to make sure that this next story, this next one, is the one that the people on triggerstreet will love,
  
  " god dammit i'm a man aren't i" we scream, albeit at no one in particular.
  
  we plead, we plead with that unforgiving and omnipotent sadist so that we are surely catapulted to movie of the week status; perhaps Meredith Baxter Bernie (sp?) plays my aging yet loveable protagonist! Maybe Tom Hanks falls for her when it gets spun off, somehow from television, onto the big screen".
  
  Sometimes I wish I was ceapsisotol, he can always go back to jail if he wants to feel more at home, frankly, it reminded me of prison.
  
  
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  jwest on 05/23/2008

  Hiya, thanks for your review, comments and kind words on Number 12. Appreciate it.
  
  :D
  
  Have a great weekend!
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/23/2008

  Hi, thanks for taking the time to read and review my short story. I really appreciate it. Good comments and suggestions.
  
  Thanks again,
  Dave
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  **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/03/2008

  Thanks for the positive, and helpful, review. I write detailed physical descriptions of my people, places, and things because I care about my characters and my readers. I want the reader to be able to 'see' as much as possible to make the work more real. As for the words, I've never believed that learning is water and runs downhill. I think of learning as muscle and life that always works its way uphill. Again, thanks for the kind review, and enjoy the day!

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