dmellas

A review of Bad Land

by dmellas on 02/18/2005

So you've deliberately embraced every archetype that makes a B-movie, well, predictable and unchallenging. Still, the "old-school" rules can't be abandoned and you have to have a story in there somewhere. B-movies that become popular may be mindless and trivial, but something creative always holds some interest. When you, as the author, loose track of your own body count... read

What's in it for Natalie or Tess?

A review of Ropeswing

by dmellas on 02/14/2005

It's pretty clear where your influence is coming from, but this was a really "fun" screenplay and I enjoyed it and liked its possibilities. Your formatting needs a little improvement and you are using a style not generally employed here. You shouldn't include camera directions or music selections - just focus on the story. You also seem to get sloppy and include dialogue... read

Signs of Intelligence

A review of The Shogunate

by dmellas on 11/25/2003

An incongruent mix of elements from different genres. At some times there were messages of philosophical profundity, at others the writing was specious and often the physics was wrong. You'll tumble more than 50 yards after spilling off a bike at 180 MPH! If something whizzes past your ear from a shotgun, you've been hit! And those bikes have too many keypads and computer screens... read

Dervishes are Still Whirling

A review of HOUNDS OF ULSTER

by dmellas on 11/10/2003

Early pages had improvements over the prior version but later parts still have many of the original problems. I also noticed more points of confusion now than before. Attempting, probably, to establish too much of the premise, the language of the reporter's VO sounds unnatural. Why not let the viewers figure these things out? You've done a better job establishing the relationship... read

The Sins of the Father

A review of But for the Grace of God

by dmellas on 07/29/2003

Sometimes an author includes something so subtle that I wonder if it was actually intended. In this case it's HALLEY's line concerning CAROLINE: "Maybe she's misunderstood also." This is the second screenplay in a row I've read that seems more suitable for stage (and not particularly for film). It touches a difficult and uncomfortable subject in an intriguing manner. It develops... read

Pillsbury Dough Girl?

A review of Sister Ella/ read production notes

by dmellas on 07/22/2003

Last thing I'd guess! Grammar problems especially toward end (usually indicates author hurrying to finish - might telegraph loss of interest). One hook is "life in a dance company" which you handled well but I would have liked to see even more. I also liked how you made no clear-cut villains and gave redeeming qualities to stepmother and diva by end, but you probably over-played... read

Flash Gordon does the Rapture

A review of Archangel

by dmellas on 07/22/2003

A technically well-written screenplay (except for dialogue) but would suggest applying talents to other genres. Also needs better research as Catholics don't believe in the "rapture," and Christians wouldn't "look deep inside themselves" for answers. It is hard to scare or surprise when everyone knows the story already and probably only makes people upset when facts are twisted... read

Perks Interest Later

A review of The Road Home

by dmellas on 07/17/2003

Uninspiring fantasy-romance for first 82 pages turns provocative when some characters break the cast into which they have been typed and show inspired language. You've made a heroine out of Deb, but what would she have had to offer... Tom (let's say)? She seems to help Angelique, but then does loneliness weigh on her as she war-paints for the next bar scene? Darius, Zeth's... read

Mostly Unlikely Coincidences

A review of Full Circle

by dmellas on 06/12/2003

Full Circle, from the perspective of lead Dean Jones, begins, ends, and is run all the way through with the most unlikely of coincidences. From 4 Aces loosing to a King high Royal Flush, to a ring and ex-girlfriend finding their way back to the thief on the same day, years later, by different paths. It seems these were merely for expediency, in order to avoid a more involved... read

Last Man Standing

A review of A Family Affair

by dmellas on 06/07/2003

The "Gulag Rule" was pretty clever if you made it up yourself. I thought I was versant in Russian culture, folklore and literature and hadn't heard of it before, but it serves as a great literary device here and a surprising axis around which events turn (though it's not clear exactly how in this screenplay), especially considering to whom the story is told. Even considering... read

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Reviews by dmellas 39

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