donald Wayne Jarman

member since 09/15/2008 | last login 10/14/2010

Donald Wayne Jarman is a playwright/screenwriter/director living in Los Angeles. Having just returned from writing and directing a feature in China, he is working as a story analyst, has begun a sci-fi script, and is enjoying time with his family and friends....

Submissions by donald Wayne Jarman

Bike Crash Blues

a screenplay by donald Wayne Jarman

Genres: drama

The fragility of life and necessity for purpose are examined in this musical drama, centering around the reunion... more

Ruff Life

a screenplay by donald Wayne Jarman

Genres: comedy

We open in Russia, where a female double agent brutally murders a member of the Russian Mafia, kidnaps his Moscow... more

Figment

a screenplay by donald Wayne Jarman

Genres: mystery/suspense

Synopsis: Dylan is in a lot of trouble. Held for murdering his girlfriend and questioned by a psychiatrist to determine... more

Reviews by donald Wayne Jarman 12

gory fun, worth another pass

A review of Glacier

by donald Wayne Jarman on 10/19/2008

I liked a lot of this. The writer knows his genre, and has given us some well developed, flawed yet likable characters, and a whole lot of nail-biting, heart-pounding action. The dialogue could use some tightening, as the on-the-nose jokes just don't ring funny and many of the conversations start to circle, continuing on well after the point of the scene has been made. I... read

Sweet Story Could Benefit From Stronger Characters

A review of Punished Woman's Lake

by donald Wayne Jarman on 09/16/2008

"Punished Woman's Lake" is a sweet, slice of life story that knows it's genre and follows a smooth course towards its conclusion, as a lazy river does on its way to the ocean. The story begins present day on a ranch, Callie and her rancher father have a sweet conversation about her impending marriage. The rancher tells his daughter that he's going to 'visit' someone and... "Punished Woman's Lake" is a sweet, slice of life story that knows it's genre and follows a smooth course towards its conclusion, as a lazy river does on its way to the ocean.

The story begins present day on a ranch, Callie and her rancher father have a sweet conversation about her impending marriage. The rancher tells his daughter that he's going to 'visit' someone and she confesses that she doesn't quite understand why he still does this, after all this time. We then flash back thirty years earlier to a ranch, where CAL and TY, two young farm hands, are applying for work. They both land the job, finding themselves living on an amazing ranch owned by a kind older man, Gerald. Gerald takes the men under his wing, showing them the ropes, as well as introducing them to his beautiful but troubled grand- daughter, ANNA. Ty is immediately smitten with Anna and they begin dating, but Anna and Cal have obvious eyes for one another, and are soon seeing each other behind Ty's back. Meanwhile, we discover that Gerald is in danger of losing his ranch to the IRS, something that he tries to keep secret from Anna and the others. Anna and Cal can't keep from seeing one another, in spite of their respect for Ty, and eventually get together intimately and fall in love. When Ty learns of this, he is angered, but eventually admits to Cal that he knew Anna wasn't truly his. During their conversation, Anna goes out to the lakeside dock to think, slipping on the wet wood and falling into the lake, hitting her head against the dock on her way. Ty and Cal rush to save her, but are not only unsuccessful, Cal ends up drowning in the process. Everyone is devastated at the sudden deaths, and Gerald finally confesses that he must sell the ranch to pay his debt to the IRS. Ty, who comes from money, offers to buy the ranch. We flash forward to present day and it's revealed that the Rancher is Ty, as he and Callie stops at a cemetery. Cal places a single flower on Anna's grave. He stops at Cal's grave, filling his old friend in on his life, before placing a cowboy hat on the ground and heading off with his daughter.
It is a sweet, touching story, that could be greatly improved with further character development, stronger dialogue, and raising the stakes with the story. Cal and Anna fall for each other, but there is little truly in the way, as she doesn't love Ty and they have nothing keeping them together. WIth more at stake, both in the love story and the plot of losing the ranch, the story would build more naturally to its climax at the end. The dialogue deals too much with how each character is feeling and what they are thinking. I more time were spend on SHOWING who these people are by their actions, we would be more inclined to care about them and follow them on this journey. read

Comments About donald Wayne Jarman 4

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**DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/24/2008

Thanks, I hope the review actually helps.

Me thinks the top ten club is not too exclusive of a club. I mean, I'm in it. :)

'The Secret of Dream Gardens' got a blue star, but the funny thing is my second screenplay 'The Mosaic', is actually much better. So I'm waiting to see how that one works out.

'Figment' deffinately desserves it's blue star.
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write4life on 10/22/2008

thank u for ur review!!!
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**DELETED ACCOUNT** on 09/25/2008

Thanks for the review of Paris old chap. Very encouraging. A very insightful analysis and some great suggestions for going forward.

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donald Wayne Jarman

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Submissions by donald Wayne Jarman

Reviews by donald Wayne Jarman 12

Comments About donald Wayne Jarman 4

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Submissions by donald Wayne Jarman

Reviews by donald Wayne Jarman 12

Comments About donald Wayne Jarman 4

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