drsayre41

Dramatic intrigue driven by strong characters.

A review of Konvicted

by drsayre41 on 08/19/2011

This is a terrific script. Very well written, featuring interesting content that draws in the viewer's curiosity. It's unique in that it deals with the KKK, but focuses on the Klan's other exploits outside of their attacks on the black community. The greatest strength of this screenplay is in the characters. They are very rich, full-bodied and seem to have real life to them... read

well shot but lacking elsewhere

A review of Guernica

by drsayre41 on 07/30/2010

I'm not really sure what to say about this. It's a good looking film. But the substance of it is too vague. The synopsis says it's about differing perceptions of love, yes I see that a little bit. But what those perceptions are really don't come across strong enough. The idea of using these letters as the device is interesting, but for me it just didn't work. I watched the... read

Very enjoyable

A review of Lying Next to Larry

by drsayre41 on 07/18/2010

I really liked this film. It isn't easy to make two people lying in hospital beds interesting. But this story was very well told. The cinematography and editing were quite good. Wonderful effect on the picture of the old woman with the "tortured" patient caught in the frame. The humor is spot on and the concept was terrific. Nice job and best of luck... read

Very funny stuff

A review of Sweetmeat

by drsayre41 on 07/18/2010

This is a comedy concept film. Very original and quite humorous in its execution. The film is shot very well. Particularly the use of light in the kingpin scene. The "disassembly line" of women breaking down the parts of the sandwich was absolutely brilliant. Obviously this film shows the director's ability to handle a comic subject in a creative way -- a little Simon Pegg/Edgar... read

Incredibly well made

A review of Committed

by drsayre41 on 07/17/2010

The first thing I noticed about this film was the exceptional production value. The movie looks great, sounds great and is expertly edited. In fact the editing really stood out for me. The overlapping sound and dialogue with the moody visual tone, it really made an impact. As a visual storyteller, this director has more than got the goods. The cinematography was fantastic... read

Clever, exciting and very well written!

A review of Exit Strategies

by drsayre41 on 02/10/2010

This script is a true rarity. It is super-charged with action, but written with great intelligence. Most action films tend to be very watered down on character and dialogue and generally include a rather dumbed-down simplicity. This script is the total opposite. The story is wonderfully told and perfectly structured. Not one scene is wasteful, not one moment is poorly paced... This script is a true rarity. It is super-charged with action, but written with great intelligence. Most action films tend to be very watered down on character and dialogue and generally include a rather dumbed-down simplicity. This script is the total opposite.

The story is wonderfully told and perfectly structured. Not one scene is wasteful, not one moment is poorly paced. The transitions from scene to scene are expertly written.

I have very few negative criticisms to mention, and the ones I do have are certainly not huge. One thing I have to say bothered me was the "speech" early on in the script where Jones and one of the agents get into a discussion about "why do we need to catch this killer? He's killing bad people". I don't think it's needed, and it certainly doesn't need to be as heavy-handed; Jones is a bit preachy with it -- the audience doesn't need to be told that it's bad to kill people... we know that. Also, X's character shows us his scruples so this exposition is, I feel, a bit too much.

Also, there are moments where I think the author does too much directing within the script. There are several montages, that work wonderfully (i.e. - the mind's eye of people as they experience death. I feel this is part of the storytelling of this script and is necessary in the way it is executed.) However, other moments, the writer is dictating too many shots (i.e. - the split-screen on the plane, where the shot following X and the shot following Sydney merge as they reunite... this is something for a director to determine. Perhaps the writer is planning on directing the script, but I know from experience, even in that case you're better off treating it like a spec script).

My only character criticism, because ALL the characters are very well drawn, is in regards to Sydney. We understand that she is attracted to danger and it shows. I think at times it's a bit over the top. We can sense from her attitude how much it excites her, so the constant lines of dialogue don't strengthen the point, they just make her character seem too extravagant (i.e. - when the bazooka appears while she and X are in the chase with the hummer... her reaction is to say "Wow. Cool" -- I think this is not needed. Her expression and attitude tell us she's full of adrenaline for these moments. But for her to further it by saying how cool it is, makes her come off as a bit infantile.)

And just a quick note: Maybe change the name of RING to something else... RING and KING are a little too close, especially in a script where both have brief sequences early on, and then RING gets killed... intially I thought it was the same character who had the meeting w/ the mayor (KING). I had to go back and clear up the misunderstanding. May not be a big thing, but you want to eliminate ANY confusion in your script, even if it seems trivial.

Those are really the only criticisms I have. The rest is all praise. The dialogue is very clever, smartly written. The characters each have a distinct voice, distinct attitudes and purposes.

This story is VERY fascinating, well told. The pacing is terrific. Every moment keeps you flipping the page. I found the structure of the story to be amazing.

Well done! Best of luck! read

Clever idea, needs some polishing.

A review of Young Old Man

by drsayre41 on 09/30/2008

I'm still a bit dazzled, not really sure how I feel about this script. I think there's a lot here that falls in the range of good ideas. But, much of it fell short for me. I have to say I was absolutely loving the first 35 or so pages. I was treated to smart writing in, what appeared to be, a personal, character driven story the likes of which great independent minded writers... I'm still a bit dazzled, not really sure how I feel about this script. I think there's a lot here that falls in the range of good ideas. But, much of it fell short for me.

I have to say I was absolutely loving the first 35 or so pages. I was treated to smart writing in, what appeared to be, a personal, character driven story the likes of which great independent minded writers and filmmakers tell.

Then the big plot device happened: Lee and Graham switch places and takeover each other's bodies. I was thrown for a loop with that one. This moment was so sudden and jarring, I almost gave up on the script. (I must add that the fantastical is very far from my sensibility. So it's a little unfair to the author, but I just had a tough time wrapping my mind around that moment in such an interesting, realist script).

That said, I then began to be fascinated again. Mainly because there have been a dozen movies in the past to deal with the "body swapping" concept, but none of them tackled such interesting issues. This script really does put being younger and being older into perspective for the two characters.

I also like the idea that Graham's long lost daughter is the woman Lee is crazy about. It's not a terribly original subplot, but it's handled so well that it works beautifully.

My only major criticisms are these:

As we get into the later pages of the script, it seems a little heavy-handed in the "everything Lee does makes everybody's life better" thing. (i.e.- Smark just wants to share Lee with the world, Everyone adores Lee for creating this club, the bouncer's brother at the hospital wants to help Lee because he loves the club so much and later gets a job there) It just seems like Lee is built up to these extraordinary heights and the only reason appears to be that the author wants his lead character to be adored.

I think a lot of Nikki's character is an idealized version of a woman. She's a strong, independent woman, that's for sure. But, I just find it pretty unbelievable that she just goes with everything Lee and Graham toss her way. Again, this seems to be the author saying that his main characters should just be adored, but Nikki doesn't really have reason yet for such unwavering adoration of Lee.

Lastly, I think the dialogue can be improved. Some of it is just too on the nose and unnatural. Nikki gives a whole long speech about how her personality was shaped by not having a father growing up... this just seemed forced to me. Other areas of the script have this same kind of overly explained dialogue. If it were simplified and implied by tone and subtext, it would come off a lot better.

Overall, this script is halfway there. The concept is an interesting one, and I really do like the story. Character and structure are both excellent. I think some more work puts this script in great shape. read

Clever and Witty

A review of Czechmate (Rev 2)

by drsayre41 on 09/23/2008

I keep getting suprised by these great scripts. I absolutely loved it. It was funny and the wit just rolls of almost on every page. This is also a very clever script and has sophistication. I thoroughly enjoyed following Bob, a seemingly uninteresting character on the outside, but has depth and conviction. Jody is my favorite though, she seems like a lost child through it all... read

Excellent Read!!

A review of New Hope

by drsayre41 on 09/22/2008

I liked this script very much. It's well written and hits all the necessary points to tell this story the right way. I think the character of Otho is very well drawn. He's not quite heroic, but he does great things. His drive to find his wife and to make up for his past mistakes is fascinating and well orchestrated. One of the things I liked best about this script is that... read

Clever comedy with real characters.

A review of Last Week

by drsayre41 on 06/19/2008

I've got to make it clear that I'm not a fan of romatic type comedies. With that being said, I found the characters in this script better than the story itself. Ray is a very realistic character that you can follow, and believe. I actually found myself liking alot of the somewhat subliminal political and cultural references. There was alot and I liked them all, ballsy to say... read

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drsayre41

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Submissions by drsayre41

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**DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/11/2010

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Submissions by drsayre41

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**DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/11/2010

crossroads79 on 07/08/2010

Agent Cooper on 02/10/2010

ma_caiti on 09/30/2008

David Muhlfelder on 09/24/2008

sretherf on 09/23/2008

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