fleezer 

member since 06/15/2005 | last login 07/14/2013

Therapist, mother, teacher, writer. Looking forward to what ever comes next....

Bio

Therapist, mother, teacher, writer. Looking forward to what ever comes next.

Submissions by fleezer

Reviews by fleezer 227

  • A review of under the snow
    by fleezer on 07/29/2008
    I liked the structure of the piece, the jumps from past to present. I thought it worked well as a way to tell this story. I think the concept, which would work in a novel, did not work well as a short story. There are too many characters introduced in too short a time, and though the plot is dramatic, I think it needs more time to develop. I think the basic characters and... read
  • A review of The Ice Cream Man
    by fleezer on 07/28/2008
    I think the premise of the story is great. What could be scarier than taking someone who's beloved and turning him into a monster? However, I don't think the potential of the idea was reached nearly as well as it could be. For me, the writing style in general is much too passive. The choices of verb tenses are too often things like "the children were running..." instead of... read
  • A review of Amadi and the Phoenix
    by fleezer on 02/10/2008
    I enjoyed reading Amadi and the Phoenix. I am impressed that English is not your native language. The narrative, with a few minor exceptions, was smooth and vey readable. Some technical suggestions: Indent each new paragraph. Check sentences for missing commas. "Leant" should be "leaned" and "bend" (in the rose garden) should be "bent". As for the story, I really like the... read
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Comments About fleezer 13

  • micmacmoviemaker on 08/03/2008

    fleezer wrote:
    Hey, thanks for the greeting. I see you've been busy. Are you a lawyer yet?


    Not yet - just entering 3rd year this Fall. Also, I'm transferring from Ottawa U to Michigan State University.

    busy busy....
  • Bmaddox on 07/30/2008

    Re: Summer Breeze

    I'm glad you picked up on the malnourished/menstrual relationship.

    I was hoping the circumstances would raise the possibility in the reader's mind that nature's course would quite likely be delayed, by years even, thus making it a distinct possibility the age of the girl could be eighteen or above. I decided not to allude to it directly, and, regardless, nothing could possibly mitigate the horrific events. It was mostly just for myself, I suppose, since I was a little horrified at the idea but felt compelled to write it, anyway.

    Cheers
  • micmacmoviemaker on 07/29/2008

    Good to see you back. :)
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