george23

Moving, and cruel in places, yet a compelling insight into the destructive power abuse can achive.

by george23 on 06/18/2006

This was a fascinating read Jackie. A lot different to when 'Love is the Burden', but your wonderful writing style remains evident here. You have a real nack of searching for the human spirit, what drives in espicially in woeful situations, and Karen was a prime example of this. The concept its self is very well explored its nothing new and I have seen it a few times, but... This was a fascinating read Jackie. A lot different to when 'Love is the Burden', but your wonderful writing style remains evident here. You have a real nack of searching for the human spirit, what drives in espicially in woeful situations, and Karen was a prime example of this.
The concept its self is very well explored its nothing new and I have seen it a few times, but the idea of escapement was a fascinating detail that absorbed the narrative. Having Texas as their escape/holiday, miles away and completely different to that of the British shores. I have never been to Texas, but as an Englishman I see Texas a rough baron desert, that's the how its percieved over here. Yet for Karen Texas became her sanctuary the rough baron desert became paradise away for her suburban hell. You were twisting it and I love this type of contradictory storytelling. Texas was also a much larger setting then I had originally thought. At the start I had my reservations; twenty two pages in and we are already in Texas. I wanted to see how this would develop and I was surprised, in a good way. I liked the introduction of Tom and Ethan and I espicially loved the name of Flapjack. Tom was a great character, I predicted she would meet someone in Texas and I am glad she did, some may say "Well Tom and the situation is a cliche, meeting someone etc." But I personally believe that cliches are essential in the right way. Karen needed to meet some who is emotionally like her. The scuffles she had early on with Tom again showed their similarity and I enjoyed reading their relationship develop. Particulary side steps in the story such as the horse giving birth moment, again wonderfully written with a sadness attached to it. As well as Debs and her 'boobs'.
Karen's beating are in incredible detail and at times are hard to read because their so visual, certainly brilliant writing to bring this story to life and it gave me a sense of genuine hate for Chris. My only slight niggle was why is Chris like this, what has made him this cruel and vicious? Yes we do see the 'morning after' full of promises and apologies, but why what made Chris this evil bully? You work in the gambling later on, but I was fasanating to Chris's syche, that dark past.
Other characters such as Debs and Shirls were a wonderful side step from Karen, they provided the humour, the torch light in the darkness and they added a sense of genuine kindness to the cruelness that was happening.
The structure was good, you have looked at a serious issue that is still happening and shouldn't. I am not a believer of the theory thats its the womans fault, she is being beaten and should leave. Its not just that. Its dominance, its about being beaten into a corner where escape is almost impossible. You have two children, no money and no body to turn to, and I would always argue this to anyone. Jackie, you captured that here, you showed the dominance that can happen, how somebody can be beaten black and blue yet still cling to their theory that they will change, that everything will work itself out. Its cruel and some shows have, in my opinion acted irresponsibly with this, a British soap on BBC1 springs to my mind. I do believe though this was delicately handled. And it dosen't leave me with many gripes or issues. I would liked the ending to have been a little longer, it did feel a little quick to me, for example what happened to Chris, eventually, I didn't want a diolague drivien scene where they explain it, but curiosity hopes the book was thrown at him, but not knowing the laws of Texas didn't allow me to really know his outcome.I did, however still enjoy the ending and thought you didn't overblow it at all, but aloud a small happy ending showing that life does carry on, if you allow it too.
However this was still a very well written enjoyable script, moving and tortuous in places, you captured the human spirit wonderfully and provided a enjoyable script that tackles a huge issue and answers it in your own way, well done Jackie, City Slickers meets the English housewives! read

A well written insight into life's tragic crossroads.

A review of When love is the burden

by george23 on 05/07/2006

A very moving story that shows how life can suddenly change direction, for the better or in this case a tragic worse. I was fasinated with the character of Brian at the start you pity him before his passionate affair and his denial to Fiona suddenly diverts your attitude towards him. Does he want this baby more then Fiona or perhaps he is a typical man? (I can hear some saying)... A very moving story that shows how life can suddenly change direction, for the better or in this case a tragic worse.

I was fasinated with the character of Brian at the start you pity him before his passionate affair and his denial to Fiona suddenly diverts your attitude towards him. Does he want this baby more then Fiona or perhaps he is a typical man? (I can hear some saying) and he wants the best of both worlds, good sex, a family, a wife? I was confused here but that isn't a negative comment, I want to be confused so the character can develop and answer those burning questions I am raising....And they were answered!

You developed Brian very well, and I was surprised to how dominant his character's involvement was within the story, appearing on practually every page. I thought this was a good piece of writing because it felt to me that we were watching it from Brian's point of view from his conflicting early emotions, to his frustrations, to his anger all of these feeling were rounded of very well indeed.

Fiona I felt could have been developed a little further, I was very intrested in learning more about her desire to have a baby and her frustrations to why she hasn't had a child, does she blame herself or Brian? You do analyse this though, particulary the conversation where Fiona almost confronts Brian, that its her fault. But Fiona's development was very moving, espicially reading within the script, you feel how she has changed, how she can't have her own life and I felt moved by that. Is what happened to her worse then death, because you feel she is almost stuck in a permanant frozen tomb, where she can't suggest, comment or even laugh.
I thought that this followed the exact same situation for Brian, he too was trapped, in a tomb which represented his routine, his frustrations particualry at the system which was letting him down. And you looked at the system that Brian felt was betraying him, very well. Not over the top you didn't stick a large sign up saying hey Britain's NHS is crap if this happens to you, no instead you raised the situation delicately and highlighted what is a general problem. (I know this due to my dad's disability and the struggle we have had helping him, dad unlike Fiona can talk, can relay his comments or his emotions, but the fact that he is stuck in a wheelchair unable to defend or help himself, is simular to Fiona's pridicament.

Walker's character was an intresting plot twist. He was essentially the baddie, the nemesis to Brian. And you braught this out slowly, at first he seemed like a weirdo, then a creep before you began to show how generally cruel, devious and selfish he really was. I struggled a little to reason why he was so horrible. I know of some people who are nasty and vandictive, but too willingly know what he has done espicially towards the care of Fiona, is something which I find could almost be beyond human, a cruelty seen in the animal world. Perhaps though Jackie you are highlighting what sort society we live in now. The strong survive and the weak are swept away, we move at a fast pace if you can't keep up, get out. Its thats mentality that seems to be even more common in life and this is how I felt about Walker. You gave a great dish of humble pie onto his doorstep at the end, I am glad we came back and saw his conversation with Brian. There was no petty revenge, because Walker was always going to slip himself up, Brian, Caroline and I think the audience knew that and wanted it to happen.

I enjoyed your development of Caroline. I was not quite sure of her motives early on, I even thought she may be leading Walker towards his devious (perhaps even evil antics.) But you showed a softer, human side to her personality. A woman who regrets what she did, but perhaps she just wants to be loved though and it wasn't all down to being promoted. I certainly got this feeling nearer the end of the script and I am glad you braught her back towards the end, a nice touch.
The best finshing of all was Gregson's wife. You showed how actually it isn't a rare thing, you even gave Brian a level ground with Gregson and Hazel (who I thought could of been braught in a little earlier, however that didn't effect my enjoyment at all).You showed how carers do hide themselves away and become trapped within their lives,You highlighted the frustration that turns to anger because your in this situation that you can not change or escape from. You covered this hell situation within Brian excellently, and I was really belieiving what I was reading, well done.

On the whole I really enjoyed 'When Love is the Budren', it was more, passionate and moving then I ever thought it would be and you handled a very delicate subject very well indeed. Apart from the odd minor spelling and character mistake (which I am sure sure you are aware of) this was a very well put togather idea, developed well though out with a feel good ending. Well done Jackie I look forwatd to reading more of your work. read

Very good

A review of Detour on the Wheelie of Life

by george23 on 01/24/2006

This was a wonderful piece of animating Tom and Bill and I really love your dark sense of humour. It must have been a nightmare editing the way you did but to me its not that noticebale simply because the drawings and story are very well put togeather. The voiceovers are wonderful i love this sort of australian comedy because you have a wonderful array of voices that make... read

Powaqattsi in London

A review of Injoy

by george23 on 01/23/2006

I liked the idea, a sort of Powaqattsi in London with some nice imagery mixed with black and white. I liked the concept of folloiwng Luana, so she was the catalyst within the scenery and the domain you were shooting and that gave su something to pinpoint on it didn't make everything seem so random. Howveer my biggest problem was that at times wihout sounding like a cliche it... read

Simple and sweet, but Mony get a life mate

A review of Wannabe

by george23 on 01/23/2006

I loved the idea behind this short, a good out take at how reality television has created its own wannabes! It worked well for the 48 hour film competition, simple script, location and setting but the film still developed well. I loved the way you hammered home how Monty wanted to be a reality star and I was never sure if I pitied him or loathed him and thats good writing... read

I like it

A review of Strangers in the night

by george23 on 01/23/2006

A nice little short here. I like one minute films because their simple and whether they work depends so much on the ending, that twist that makes or breaks it. I think this worked nicely, you created a good sense of menace from the man by the smooth quick editing along with the womans acting. And the end worked well because you never were quite sure what was going to happen,... read

Fun little short

A review of Prius Envy

by george23 on 01/22/2006

Quite a funny little short here Joel. Completely different in every way to your fantastic short Ripe, and I have to say I prefer ripe, however the differences are so great its impossible to compare. On the whole though this was a funny idea, I liked the concpet of him searching for this car, it reminded me a little bit of Nick Broomfield's short tracking down Maggie when he... read

Well made espicially in 48 hours hours, but the script was wonderful

A review of The World and Origins: Twister

by george23 on 01/22/2006

I loved the concept to this short and thought it was very well made within 48 hours. Although technicially pretty simple I really liked the script and was very impressed with the characters you created, espicially the name johnny long arm. The proved to be a breath of fresh and if there's one thing you have done to me is that I won't see twister in the same light again! Good... read

Intresting doc looking at the the fans of ghost hunting

A review of This is Real

by george23 on 01/22/2006

Hahaha I seem to recall seeing a large majorty of the forty minutes at Plymouth college a few years ago, so it was certainly strange being assigned the shorter version. And I prefered this one, it was more to the point and what I liked was how it showed the passion and camaradrie of the group and how dedicated there are too spotting ghosts etc. I liked the last couple of minutes... read

A simple two minute idea, good script, technicially fine

A review of WALK Enterprises

by george23 on 01/21/2006

This was an intresting concept. I am a huge fan of 'circumstance films' which is what I call films made in 24 hours, or dogma etc, and this I catergorise within that. The idea had me a little stuck I admit and I did watch the film a couple of times to grasp what was happening, but I thought the script was witty and well preformed by Goldie. I was a little unsure to whether... read

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