member since 05/30/2011 | last login 09/01/2014

Currently attending the David Lynch Film School --


Currently attending the David Lynch Film School --

Submissions by JohnnyCoffeen

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Reviews by JohnnyCoffeen 62

  • A review of The Void (1st draft)
    by JohnnyCoffeen on 08/18/2014
    Hey Russell, we’ve read each other scripts at this point. Your last script was very impressive and I LOVE this idea -- sounds like something I’ll like. I did see Enter The Void too by the way and loved it. I guess off the bat, if you’re using DMT in the film, consider just rethinking the name of this script. I also love some of the dark comedies you mentioned in your synopsis,... read
  • A review of JUNK
    by JohnnyCoffeen on 08/13/2014
    Running Notes (numbers from now on mean page numbers): 0. Title page has date typo -- also, maybe the ")" after England. 1. This opening section reminds me of the ending of 2001, one of my favorites! Starscape and Overexposed can just be one word. How do we know he has motion sickness -- show don't tell. Maybe say: MARSHALL, a computerized voice, speaks before you have... read
  • by JohnnyCoffeen on 08/13/2014
    Running Notes (number from now on means page number): 0. Title Page: No need for this” This screenplay can not be used or reproduced without written consent from the author.” 1. Does chest area mean breasts? Clever use of the hearts. Consider using contractions like: “My name’s Owen. Everything’s gonna be OK. I promise.” 2. I really hope this nightmare is foreshadowing,... read
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Comments About JohnnyCoffeen 48

  • philip halmarack on 08/22/2014

    Congratulations you too.
    I'm working hard on the 2nd draft of the screenplay.
    There was concern about the title. It's proving quite difficult.
    I think I'll change it to 'After The Fall'.
    Looking forward to your re write.
  • xzilez on 08/13/2014

    Comment deleted by JohnnyCoffeen
  • philip halmarack on 08/12/2014

    Comment deleted by JohnnyCoffeen
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