TriggerStreet

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, but what the fuck was that review all about? What are you talking about? Try putting in some effort next time instead of just robbing me of my credits.

Don't review my stuff again.

Thank you for your constructive and substantial feedback. Especially your reveal of the dreaded "character dump." -- Karl Gorman.

It was my pleasure to read your script today. I love to read scripts because it helps me get better, and I take it very seriously, so I'm glad you can get something out of it. I look forward to reading more from you!

Thanks so much for your detailed notes on Divine Intervention. Your feedback is consistent with other reviewers and will be very helpful as I work through the next re-write. I appreciate the time you took to be so thorough.

Debra

Hey Kent Was not harsh to be honest that is what I wanted and needed to hear.I am thankful and hope if I can get the grammar,spelling and formatting bugs out so the story will have merit.
The T.S. reviews are the best thing that could happen to someone like me who as you point out and I know have not much talent in certain thing needed to write but have a good imagination. So I do thank you for your words they could have been a lot harder I am sure but I don't think that helps anyone.So again thanks for the up front comments and good advice. Stan

Thanks Revale for the kind review. I'm going to improve the other one on the site, it's a very early draft. BTW "butters" is a term meaning butt ugly. Take care.

Hi Mike,

Thanks for your review of 'The Gospel of Maire'. You're right, it is part of a series, but it's the first in the series. The others, in this order are: 'The Gospel of Michael', 'The Gospel of Ryan', 'The Gospel of Grainne', 'The Gospel of Alfonso' and I'm currently writing the penultimate one 'The Gospel of Lucas', which hopefully will be followed by 'the Gospel of Liam'. I hoped to write each one so that it would be a self-contained short story but naturally there are bound to be a few loose ends. (The combined 'novel' will be called 'The Gospels of Eibhlin'. It all started with the screenplay.)

Despite what you might think with all those gospel titles, I'm not in the slightest bit religious myself and I've probably missed a few religious references myself. If you do ever get round to reading any more of them, I hope you'll pick up on what the greater intention of the combined stories are, and it's more to do with how religions are created by people in times of need.

I totally agree with your point about the long, rambling explanations. As this was the first story I was trying to explain it to myself I think. In subsequent stories I think i got a bit better at letting the reader 'join up the dots'.

Your observation about the priest - very astute. You need to read the Gospel of Michael next! About Maire's independence, I think I've been saving that for her daughter, Eibhlin. After all, she's really the heroine of the whole thing, and she has to be totally unlike what you'd expect from a 'saviour'.

I don't remember the original 'Survivors', though I would have been quite young when it was first shown in the UK. I haven't lived in England for nearly 20 years now, so I must have missed the remake. Maybe I'll look out for it. Sounds interesting.

Anyway, thanks again for your positive constructive advice. I will be rewriting them when (if) I finish the whole thing.

Good luck with your work too. I hope to read some more.
Francesca

Where ya been - Bean?

Hey Steph, Thanks for the great review. You hedged a bit about your response, but I think you were exactly right, and your feedback is precisely what I need to take the story to the next level. I recently rewatched Little Miss Sunshine--people can maintain their defenses without resorting to 24/7 cynicism or flippancy, so there's no need to keep everything at the riposte level. Following your suggestions will bring out the heart of the story / characters and maybe make the next draft a final one.

Thank you for your review of my screenplay Broken. I know it may seem minor, but you pointing out "seeing her anew" and Daniel's scream were two things that I looked over and realized that I was not conveying what I was supposed to convey. I've adjusted those things, and for that, I am grateful. As to the vomit, I am sorry, but I'm sticking to my guns there : ) And as for the synopsis, I wrote it because I knew that the subject matter would turn a lot of people off, so I wanted to give them some reassurance that, at the very least, it wouldn't be a rough read, in a technical sense. I shouldn't say "tear it apart," though, you're right. Once again, thank you for your time and effort.