• A review of Travelers
    by patcan338 on 04/14/2014
    A nice film about being stuck behind a computer at work and wishing life were different or a least better. There are bills to pay and the corporate ladder to climb, but the day dreams of adventure and the "love of your life" keep calling your thoughts away. How could you pay for such a life? Does not really matter; you know you stuck behind that desk for 30-40 years. Who has... read
  • by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 04/13/2014
    This script has a great concept and great market appeal: Americans would be curious to see a flick about the national selection and the rest of the world actually cares about soccer. My problem with this script was with your choice of development. You tagged it as a comedy, but it is instead a sports drama (not a problem, as long as you are sure about the genre you are dealing... read
  • A review of EPIPHANY
    by stokerrising on 04/13/2014
    nice opening. solid, tight, to the point, confident. (what a relief) informing the reader of what type of insight you had may not be best. this part -- "The type of insight I had involves personal experience of just how insignificant we are on this earth" comes off as a condensation of what should have been written out in such a manner that the reader would come to this conclusion... read
  • A review of Next-of-Kin
    by micheleraedejean on 04/13/2014
    This was well written for such a short piece but there wasn’t enough of a plot to call it a short story, it was part of a larger story but we only got part of it. This was very clinically written and seemed rather cold considering the topic is notifying someone that their loved one is dead. But Maybe if you did it all the time you would get that way. Couldn’t these two sentences... read
  • by rexsikes on 04/13/2014
    I am glad it was short. It made me think. It was brief and to the point, self contained. Potential for larger story, short film or idea to build into full story - what happens next? Simple, inexpensive, done well. As an emotional exploration it is probably too tried. She is about to jump, obviously distraught but in this small amount of time we don't really have time to feel... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 04/13/2014
    The Wiccan room was barely mentioned and nobody ever went inside of it, so why is that the title? Always be worried when someone is from Transylvania when reading a horror story. Of course how many of us really ever run into someone from Transylvania? The author is a decent writer and the story is easy to read but harder to follow as it starts out a lot smoother than it ends... read
  • A review of Parasites (2)
    by Melinda May on 04/13/2014
    A pleasure to read, “Parasites,” builds with suspense, as a group of teenagers get lost in the woods during a snowstorm and encounter the unexpected. After a good set up, the story moves along at a nice pace and showcases interesting characters, with believable dialogue. Milton (p. 7) consider capitalizing his name's first appearance and giving him a description to allow... read
  • by Peter M Love on 04/13/2014
    OK. So. There are some good elements to this script. Nice hints at threat. Good 'talk around the topic' dialogue. Satisfying elements of the genre executed later & nice tension between Donello & Tino. I think you need to decide what this script is. For me (And you may decide otherwise), it is about Tino, the age old decision of whether to let the law do the work or vigilante... read
  • A review of The Room
    by telliott on 04/13/2014
    THE ROOM was not an easy read. Mistakes in spelling and incorrect or non-existent punctuation take the reader out of the story. This reader also does not get the significance of the room to which the main character retreated. Why did he want to spend time there? What was he doing? Due to the reference of needing to take a shower afterwards assumptions are that it was something... read
  • A review of EPIPHANY
    by ProfRedSweater on 04/13/2014
    A nice quality about short stories is that they don’t have to be epic in scope. “Epiphany” is served well by that. It’s a very small story with a climax that would be severely anti-climactic in any other tale. I could arguably still be bigger, but that may just be the handling of the moment. Regardless, there’s a lot of great little personality quirks to the telling of... read
  • by Anthony94 on 04/13/2014
    To start with I think this genuinely has some potential as a lighthearted zombie movie, theres some genuinely funny moments and some of the characters you've come up with are great. However There's work that needs to be done... The story seems like it isn't going anywhere at all in the first ten pages, you need something to happen to really push the story forward, 20 pages... read
  • A review of The Ferry
    by telliott on 04/13/2014
    This is one of the best short stories I've read on TS. I really like the conversational flow of it. It was an easy read. However, resorting to the use of a dream (in this case a nightmare) at the end is too easy of a resolution and left me with some unanswered questions. I like how Kara, when driving, slows down for a familiar dip in the road. Touches like that bring a... read
  • A review of MARATHON
    by coachtomlynch on 04/12/2014
    I love Greek history and this is done very well. You have a lot of added elements to the story that puts the main character behind the eight ball before he gets started. These are all great. I liked the murder, the girlfriend, the jealous guy, the pregnancy, the birth, and pretty much the whole thing. I do think there is room for improvement. The following list of changes... read
  • by grendle308 on 04/12/2014
    Thanks for letting me read your script, although I think there are a lot of things to work on, its not DOA and has potential. First, your dialogue is very half and half for me. Some of the one-liners are seriously wonderful zingers, especially when Jackson's rifling them off. That said, the tone that they set mixed with other moments is very disparate and conflicting. For... read
  • A review of Pause for nostalgia
    by telliott on 04/12/2014
    First off, the font used is way too small. When I enlarged it on my screen it was blurry. If the story is reformatted it would probably very easily reach the required two pages. Spacing issues and lack of periods also made for a hard read. I really like that the character threw his gun into the ocean near the end. I also like that he decided to catch the bus instead of... read