"The movies enable an actor not only to act but also to sit down in the theater and clap for himself."

- Will Rogers


  • A review of Echopraxia
    by max sappa on 09/12/2014
    Where do I start reviewing a short horror film that is not really a film and nor is a horror? Yes, I appreciate that it is a mash up and it is experimental... ha! Yes, it should have been under EXPERIMENTAL. Because I am one of those people who believe in expectations... so if I read the word HORROR I am here sitting on my chair ready to jump, to squirm or at least to kind-a... read
  • A review of April Dreams
    by max sappa on 09/12/2014
    I love the way you start the movie. A guy with problems who escapes reality... In fact the first minute is amazing!!! The cinematography, the mix, the acting and the dialogues... but then, what happens during the next 9 minutes!??? Too much exposition, patchy acting, the mix goes all over the shop with the main actor's voice barely audible... and the story goes somewhere predictable... read
  • by rexb99 on 09/12/2014
    Hey Andy, How do you make a fade in in a graphic novel? Just kidding. I'm not going to scold you for submitting a screenplay fragment as a short story, because how are you supposed to write a graphic novel anyway? Still, I sense that you have screenwriting aspirations. I was assigned AMERICAN GENERATION part two but I downloaded and read part one so I could know what was going... read
  • by oddrain on 09/12/2014
    With all due respect to Johnny Coffeen, creator of But Thinking Makes It So, I'm about to have some severe difficulty in critiquing his work, the reading of which was a real challenge.That is not to say the piece would not work on screen, only that trying to follow the jumps from reality to fantasy during the reading created a problem when it came to trying to visualize what... read
  • A review of My Johnny
    by rexb99 on 09/12/2014
    I'm only on page two and already this story is much better than SS Winston. Still, you should try to get rid of sentences like this: She closed it and entered the house. You don't need it. Like I said in my review of SS Winston, try to play out the scenes visually in your mind. Even physically act them out as written. You will find that she cannot really enter the house AFTER... read
  • by Russ2007 on 09/11/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
  • A review of Shell Game
    by czachcross on 09/11/2014
    This is a fun script. I really like this script. Strengths - The humor. 87% of this script is awesome. I laughed a lot. It moves along at a nice pace and when the action slows the storytime is filled in with funny characters. I would definitely enjoy seeing this movie in the theaters. Weaknesses – coincidence – When Ali and Carter get on the bus…what are the chances?... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/11/2014
    I'm not a sports guy. I watch a game while drinking beer from time to time but it isn't something I've ever taken seriously. Sports stories have a way of putting the viewer or in this case reader on the edge of their seat. This was no exception. I liked the protagonist's moral code for making a deal. He knew what he did was wrong but he didn't want to betray them, just as much... read
  • by TheLastGlance on 09/11/2014
    Hey, Ken! This script is entertaining in every sense of the word. It’s a fun ride with lots of interesting characters. Full disclosure to anyone reading this review. I have actually read a previous version of this script. It’s been awhile, but I’ve noticed quite a few vast improvements. The first time around, I believe I had more than a few things to pick on and this time I... read
  • by Tschwenn on 09/11/2014
    Congratulations on your script. There's a lot to like here: a shaggy-dog protagonist we can root for, double-crossing, triple-crossings, and serious goals (live, die, money). I really enjoyed this, and I think you've set yourself up for a really good script. However, I think you'll want to take a look at a few elements when you go back to tackle a revision: motivations/logistics,... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by linusonline on 09/11/2014
    It's not a bad start. I do enjoy how you set the story up, yet you can go so much deeper into the story. This feels like a solid first draft with clearly defined characters and the tension and drama is presented albeit rather on the surface. The stakes of your story. That's what was getting to me as I was reading this. Why would he take the money? You present the idea... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/11/2014
    A phrase that no man wants to hear- this is too short. I liked the characters. They are strong, they carry description, and are consistent, but they never blossom into their true potential. Truth be told I have no bad things to say about the story itself outside of the length. There is no end on behalf of the family, the victims and the violator. The pastor doesn't even receive... read
  • by jackjohns on 09/11/2014
    The Tale of Lefty and Fortuna is a very accomplished screenplay with a great concept, excellent pacing with lots of turning point, distinct and engaging characters and dialogue that flows off the page. There really isn’t a lot wrong with this screenplay so my criticisms are all relatively minor when put against the things that this script got right. Here are my notes; The... read
  • A review of The Wish
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/11/2014
    I like these quick flash fiction pieces on triggerstreet. Jordan's problem isn't that he never got it right, but that he didn't appreciate what he had so a genie from a magical bottle of scotch comes to the rescue. He could've played along. I would've. His character was developed enough for a 3 page story. The dialog was choppy and could use a little tweaking but it supported... read
  • by rexb99 on 09/11/2014
    breeze_blocks_and_broken_glass This is the first thing by you that I've read, but I sense that you write creepy stuff like this all the time. It's difficult to pull the reader in and bring them along so that the real under plot sneaks up on them while their busy dreaming about an innocent gooey courtship. I have no reason to criticize anything in this story, so that's it for... read