• by TimothyStrader on 08/22/2014
    Wow! Really great use of the various film effects: Super 8, color, B&W. It made the home feel so sterile and surreal. It really added to the story. Overall, a great story. Man is slowly losing his wife to complacency. He enlists the help of a young guy to try and understand it better. Then, finds a way to put some fire back into it. Really, I only have a few criticisms. One,... read
  • by jwespo on 08/22/2014
    This is a powerful, moving, emotional script that tugs at the heart strings of anyone who remembers the devastation that an earthquake brought to Haiti in January 2010. This is a ‘story within a story’ that begs to be told. Perhaps there’s a few more out there, but Victoria is the one on stage right now – a year later – to tell this particular story. Here is my personal review... read
  • A review of Another Chance
    by sundial83 on 08/22/2014
    As the headline of my review states, I decided to read this screenplay twice. Unfortunately, neither reading satisfied me; I will explain why and what you might be able to do to fix some of the problems that I found. Concept: It's an intriguing blend of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Prelude to a Kiss. The idea itself is a decent one and will make a great feature film... read
  • by Rfordyce on 08/22/2014
    ‘The Devil’s Lullaby’ is a very busy script. I mean busy, as in there’s lots of stuff happening. I’m not a horror fan myself, but I gamely worked my way through the first twenty pages, reinforcing my prejudices (which I freely admit) against slasher movies and wondering why anyone could be remotely interested in tongues being extracted without the owner’s consent, and severed... read
  • by xzilez on 08/22/2014
    I write as I review Fade in belongs on the left side. The reporter needs to have (O.S.) You don't continueds either. You're going to need to work on your format. I'm already confused. How would Paul know about the current in their eyes? Show us Roshe doesn't trust anyone, not tell. Pg 6 them, not then and I'm already bored and confused with this script. Cloud, no! Watch... read
  • A review of Pet
    by xzilez on 08/22/2014
    I review as I go. I notice you use the one space rule instead of the two space rule. I would recommend using the two space rule. A lot of professionals use it. Spell out numbers in your script. comma before but on page 1. You're going to have to watch your grammar. The officer really touch her? He might catch something. Great opening but for some reason this is reminding... read
  • by williamf129 on 08/22/2014
    First, congratulations on a piece well written; one exhibiting a a grasp of the King's English (I am surprised and disappointed that this is so often not the case with the TS postings). You made me know this family, its dynamic, and much about each of its members. You have done an excellent job of establish Robbie's world (I felt like I was there). The prose is simple (in the... read
  • A review of P.A.M.
    by molloy on 08/22/2014
    This is standard zombie fare. The gory descriptions are chilling but many other aspects of the script are underdeveloped. I'd like to know how the serum was developed in more detail. Maybe you could have something along the lines of how they make anti-snakebite serum, using human guinea pigs like John. The script could be developed into one "Chiller Theatre" type show but it... read
  • A review of HyperGraphia
    by Melinda May on 08/22/2014
    Great screenplay, the story is well written, intriguing and imaginative, with fabulous dialogue. Overall, great concept and sophisticated execution, it is a pleasure to read. Everything remains a mystery right up to the end, and I appreciate the ambiguous ending (who are the three men, who is Haley/red-headed lady, and whether Martin did or did not commit murder, all of these... read
  • by InPost on 08/22/2014
    Well, it isn't a bad piece of work. It just isn't remarkable in any sense. With all due respect to the film makers, I just didn't personally find it to be more than just, barely adequate. Adequate production, acceptable quality, bare minimum technically, feels like the basic video setting on a stills camera. Editing, music, lighting, sound, all acceptable, but that's it. Acting... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by linusonline on 08/22/2014
    I liked the concept. The subject matter is dark and interesting. I don't know if this is a story just yet. Everything feels a little more abstract. I wanted to know more about the husband and mother and why they do what they do. Does Susan try to stop what is going on? I think on the surface you have a great idea to work with. With a little more character development and action,... read
  • by williamf129 on 08/22/2014
    I read FINNEGAN'S WAKE once, and sort of got it. I've read this three times and I have no idea what it's about. Whatever it's about, or supposed to be about, is not helped by its raggedy-ass sentences, poor grammar, abrupt transitions, and overall lack of coherent structure. I will touch on some random faults, in no particular order: stilted dialog; you fail to properly introduce... read
  • by linusonline on 08/22/2014
    Well that went in a different direction! I enjoyed the budding romance. The character interaction in the first few pages showcase the strength of this story, so much that I was hoping for a happy ending yet the dark resolution left me unsatisfied. I think if there was a stronger setup to our main character and his psychotic nature (like if he was under great stress or a little... read
  • by Cab Coola on 08/22/2014
    This story was about a lonely man working his last days on earth. The planet is dying and soon there will be no one left. But he doesn't worry too much. Being recently divorced and losing his kids, I felt like he didn't really have much motivation to live and even if he did, there was no escape for him. I enjoyed this story very much. And I like the opening; the one sentence... read
  • A review of Misawa, Japan
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 08/22/2014
    The good news is I didn't see any structural errors and for the most part grammar and spelling were alright. What I did have an issue with is that there was very little action and entertainment. It's a cute story. It could even be a true story, but it's not something I would be interested in reading. Show the fight between the raunchy sailors and the Japanesese couple. Show... read