• A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by theauthor on 10/23/2014
    Not the writing, the character is brutal. I thought this was well-written, poetic in its off-the-cuff kind of approach. The ending is swift and unexpected. If I absolutely had to nitpick any grammar: I would put 'bare leg' or simply 'nude' and I believe it should be minimal instead of minimum. (But don't trust my English. I got high grades on creative writing so I slagged a... read
  • A review of 1
    by EugyBizzaro on 10/23/2014
    The timing on this film is not full of suspense but boring!!!! Hitch knows his timing. It is an art to balance suspense in a film. This goes far too long and instead of interesting it leads to boredom. I find this film dull as dirt. Perhaps, if the dark figure turned and came slowly at the camera, as if to approach the viewer and scare the wits out of them or there is a thud... read
  • A review of TREE OF LIFE
    by Michael Leath on 10/23/2014
    I suggest putting a header or footer on all of your manuscripts you intend to put in public with the copyright logo, your name and date. Page 1 The formatting of this piece is incorrect for industry standard. If you intend to market your fiction, you will need to adhere to the formatting rules expected by periodicals who buy same. One inch border all around. No extra space... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    The pulp style rhythm of this story reals the reader in almost immediately. We feel like its going to be a good cop on the beat style of short story. You made it clear the narrator was a real hard ass that never took anything from anyone. This attitude carries over until he has a real issue he needs help tackling. The way that you added in the romance was fantastic. You peppered... read
  • A review of Wait for Morning
    by David Muhlfelder on 10/23/2014
    This is a very well written script. Your writing style is clean and to the point without excess words or unnecessary description. The characters, even the minor ones, were all well drawn and distinctive. The dialogue flowed naturally, and everyone spoke with their own unique voice. Structure and pacing were spot on. And this was one of the easiest reads I can remember on this... read
  • A review of Mikey
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    I've seen a couple stories like this on triggerstreet. Some of the best stories as a matter of fact. This one was written better for children than the others. I have a nine year old little girl and I sometimes write kids stories for her or about her and I realize it is extremely difficult to get all of their personality traits and emotional quips just right, but you did. I... read
  • A review of Bobby
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    The characters in this story really shined. No misspelled words or grammatical errors. The story flowed nicely. I always enjoy a great ghost story especially one that has a hint of comedy in it. Like I said the characters were magnificent. The description of the young thugs along with their checkered personalities made for a fine read. Thanks for sharing this one. One thing... read
  • A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    Hey Mike, I'm always happy to see something in my assignment list from you. Let me first congratulate you on the spectacular imagery in this piece. Your adjectives are always inviting and have a way of drawing the reader in. With that being said I read this story about four times and I'm still at a loss. I want to think the story is about a brutal murder, but from my calculations... read
  • A review of Own Worst Enemy
    by JZandKO on 10/22/2014
    I just got done with your screenplay and I'm still processing the ending, so I'll save that till the end. Your script was a lot of fun. I love time-travel and it's clear you do to. Also you have a distinct voice, which is always a good thing. Some will like it, some won't, but it's better than no one remembering what it is. Before jumping into more specific things, let's... read
  • by Dane44 on 10/22/2014
    Funny Script, moved from place to place pretty suddenly and pretty fast. Vast array of environments, makes it almost jumpy but it is an unclear plot that moves fast, and derives itself on high level characters who clash with other high level characters in Miami. The problem with this script though, is that it changes environment drastically and moves from one scene to another... read
  • A review of Wait for Morning
    by jacmac17 on 10/22/2014
    Just this morning completed reading “Wait for Morning” by Paul Lombino. It’s a tale about what I determi9ned to be a dysfunctional, but nonetheless interesting family. I was able to find a few issues that need Paul’s attention. On Page twenty eight, A Tiger bearing his n teeth needs changing to Baring. On page one hundred, tell me Finn: Am I’m worth a life sentence? Needs... read
  • A review of Reviewing Rachel
    by sergiev2 on 10/22/2014
    Hey Mike, Wonderful story. As with most who have reviewed it, I presume it has hit pretty close to home. However, I have never had the temptation to jack another writer's work off the site. This Nick deserved what he got! The one thing I believe will make the story stronger is to have something about Nick tie in with Rachel's beast. The guy is scared of criticism - his heart... read
  • A review of Artificial
    by DrAstrov on 10/22/2014
    “Artificial” is in possession of a taut structure, vivid characters, a clearly delineated universe, and more thematic specificity than most screenplays of its genre. It is hard to find much concrete to criticize and yet, in spite of its seeming flawlessness, it falls short of absorbing the reader emotionally. There is plenty of suspense but conversely an absence of urgency... read
  • A review of Serial Killers
    by redtruck204 on 10/22/2014
    This is an on the fly review as I read the script, so they tend to be long winded. First impressions are always important but sometimes wrong in the end. So as I read I will give a running commentary on what I like/don't like. I will ask questions first, not knowing an answer might be a page or two later. This is how a first time reader will judge you. He can't ask why you... read
  • by Michael Leath on 10/22/2014
    I would suggest you add a header or footer to all manuscripts with the copyright logo, your name and date. This is the internet, and while I’d love to believe people are basically honest, that is most likely wrong. Page 1 ***I was walking to the store to buy something for my mother until one day I was snatched from the street. This sentence has a flaw. The previous sentence... read