"Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the yard and shot it."

- Truman Capote


  • A review of Abigail
    by filmfamman on 07/24/2014
    The way this story started I thought it would be completely different. The drama was built up skillfully until the middle aged man showed the view through the Bay window of the bridge in Astoria, and then it seemed to take on a bizarre effect, when they suddenly kissed and embraced. I would have preferred more of a slower built up with a different ending. It almost seemed... read
  • by macaggiano on 07/24/2014
    Nice job, I think you have the makings of a really strong script here. Paul is a sympathetic character that we're rooting for. Having him get screwed over by his wife and boss is a great way to get us on his side. The structure is spot-on. Sometimes this can lead to a story becoming too predictable, but I was always unsure of where your story was headed. A couple suggestions... read
  • A review of Suicide Lemonade
    by jmetla on 07/24/2014
    What I most enjoyed about the screenplay was the unabashed indulgence in exploring the darkness of a tormented soul. I clearly do not see this as a horror film but rather as a despairing fantasy of a deeply suicidal being who cannot even imagine a better 'other-side' even after death. While clearly multiple things are constructed that seem to add up eventually in a 're-living... read
  • A review of Reaping Profit
    by Envy on 07/23/2014
    Gotta hand it to you, you sure know how to write that dialogue. It flows perfectly and at times it really did keep me on the edge of my seat. Death's voice screeching "There will be no negotiations" in a latina accent is still ringing in my head. The plot was interesting. There were some points that I feel you should try to work on like the fight between Death and the Devil... read
  • A review of Daysleeper
    by sundial83 on 07/23/2014
    This is my second attempt at reviewing a screenplay so the criticism and advice that I give you may or may not be helpful. Before I give you my thoughts, I just want to say that I enjoyed reading your script and I think that you are a good writer. The thing that I liked most about your script was its quirky, art-house flavor. Reading Daysleeper was a lot like seeing a film... read
  • A review of Lost Love
    by rya on 07/23/2014
    You have beautiful language in this piece - there are many lines of lyrical, romantic language that demonstrate a talent with words. However, character development seems to be missing. The bartender, Tim, acts strictly as a 'help' character that gets the exposition out of the protagonist, Charlie, and has the general role of asking other characters about their feelings. Perhaps... read
  • A review of Thy Will Be Done
    by sergiev2 on 07/23/2014
    Hey Wilsun, Thanks for the lovely read! It seems that you have a preoccupation with historical characters. DaVinci was a nice point of focus in The Sorcerer's Eyes. Arthur Conan Doyle is indeed a troubled man. He was gifted with the same faculties of deduction as his characters! The only complaint I have - and it seems from the reviews that this a singular instant - is your... read
  • A review of Another Chance
    by Shirley Day on 07/23/2014
    This is a great story, I love the characters, they're really believable. There are lots of really nice touches in the dialogue and in the way that the characters and politics are portrayed. I think the writing starts off brilliantly, it gets a little less economical and sharp, but that's not to say that it's still not really good, and it's a great idea. I've hastily copied... read
  • by filmfamman on 07/23/2014
    This was a rather well written, gritty Dystopian story taking place in Dublin and other parts south in Ireland from the year 2050 and beyond. The characters were fairly well drawn as we read about the terrible times of Liam from when the tyrannical dictatorship of the current president of Ireland clamps down on the citizens. Liam's Gay parents are rounded up, reminiscent... read
  • A review of Insane-O-Tron Part I
    by filmfamman on 07/23/2014
    This was a very entertaining and imaginative Sci Fi story, with some good emphasis on fantasy. There were some bizarre concepts in this story, from Harry the Hair cut, to the Timesaurs. But it was all very entertaining that it was all acceptable to the reader. It is very appropriate that the mysterious machine is named the Insane-O-Tron, since this story and it's images... read
  • A review of Angelor
    by Londergan on 07/23/2014
    'Angelor' has potential to be a very promising big screen hit. I'll say that honestly, needs a lot of changes and work but the potential is there. Stories involving big creatures fighting big creatures or just simply terrorizing the public have shown great success. This is your story. I'm about to be very honest and critical. Take what you will from this, it's only suggestions... read
  • A review of Double Pop
    by Adamrc on 07/23/2014
    Over the last couple years the subject matter of your script has been all over the news and in the media. Now, when you see these stories, at least when I do, I always assume that they are guilty. People accused of child "abuse" even have this persona about them that automatically draws a negative response. Not to mention that even being accused will outright ruin your life... read
  • A review of The Infinite Flu
    by JohnnyCoffeen on 07/23/2014
    This is by far the best film I've seen on this website. With that said, I feel its greatest weakness is the acting -- actually more so with the voice actor on the other line of the phone. I feel like if this were to be redone, maybe rethinking the dialogue a little bit more wouldn't hurt -- possibly that would help the acting if it were to be handled better. But conceptually,... read
  • by Hznfvo on 07/23/2014
    The dialogue in this piece is okay as far as dialogue goes in that it reads organically. What this story suffers from most is the voice telling it. I get that you were trying to create an authentic southern voice but it reads incredibly awkwardly and makes it hard for the reader to continue reading. Some of the sentences are too long which again makes reading this piece very... read
  • A review of Low Estate
    by macksf415 on 07/23/2014
    Low Estate scene by scene review by Miguel Marqueda (reviewer note I worked as security at two strip clubs in San Francisco for a bit over a year when I was in my mid 20's) Opening Nice opening, would be even stronger with a single iconic "opening image". I use voice over sparingly - however I believe that (V.O. CONT.) is the proper way to write a voice over that extends... read