Reviews

  • A review of Only When I Dream
    by Michael Leath on 10/18/2014
    So we meet again. Page 1 “Are you sure you want me to read that one again?” She pleadingly asked. “Yes. It’s my favorite story.” This is better. It breaks up the on the nose aspect of your beginning. “This will be the third time this week.” “Yes, it’s my favorite story.” It was about a prince who threw a rock at a witch who punished him by turning him in to a dragon,... read
  • A review of SECOND CHANCE
    by morgan tegtow on 10/17/2014
    Overall a good concept with moody atmosphere. Unfortunately, story does not live up to its potential. Story is very similar to “Rosemary’s Baby.” I believe to a detriment. Concept of memory snatching is fantastic. But I thought needed to be better explained and explored. People do this to live longer? What happened to Eric? Was he really dead. If so, why was Maggie... read
  • A review of Ninth Street
    by Rfordyce on 10/17/2014
    Robert - sorry it’s taken so long to finish this review. My work-life balance is up the creek without a paddle at the moment. But here goes… ‘Ninth Street’ has got a good concept. A rather off-the-wall drama / comedy / mobster / romance which looks at the Mafioso from a rather quirky viewpoint. You’ve got some well-drawn characters to hold our attention; Antonietta’s is... read
  • A review of Artificial
    by 1987brian on 10/17/2014
    Hi, your script looks very polished, very well written and easy to read, even though I don't know much about the God Particle and such. There's always room for a good sci-fi and I could definitely see this type of story on the big screen. I liked your main character(s) Lou/Jack but couldn't buy his relationship with Scarlet. She seemed to come out of nowhere and wasn't really... read
  • by Michael Leath on 10/17/2014
    Review sites, or critique sites, normally have a ceiling on talent. Those with the ability to construct a professional story, hitting all the beats of grammar, punctuation and story, don’t normally tread these waters. About half way through your tale I stopped and went to your profile looking for the bio. Forgive me Rex for using adult language. What came out of my mouth was,... read
  • A review of Empress of the Blues
    by DitaRenee on 10/17/2014
    The subject matter - Bessie Smith - was excellent. Movies like this need to be made. It's a part of American history and culture. I think I discovered her about 10 years ago myself. I can imagine the rough and tumble life she might of had. The screenplay that you submitted, however, was not of proper format or structure at all. It was starting and stopping all over the... read
  • by sergiev2 on 10/17/2014
    Hey Chris, Man, you are good at creepy tales. I presume this is the same Zed that was in your other tale, yes? The dues in your stories are a very curious lot. This is really courtship for the wierd twitter generation. I enjoyed this thuroughly, from the character having his brother cover up his tracks for all the women he falls in love with, to getting the girls name... read
  • A review of Indigo
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/17/2014
    I've read a lot of short stories and a lot of stories in general. I must admit this is one of the beat I have ever read. You entrap the reader in Indigo ' s beauty. I could tell the victim was being schemed as I'm sure he did as well, but I almost let that go and hoped for a sweet nice ending only to be told I was right in the first place. The characters were great, the descriptions... read
  • A review of I Chanced Upon a Faun
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/17/2014
    You have a unique writing style with a great utilization of the English language. I enjoyed the beginning of this story. The description of the Faun was fantastic. You drew me in to your world rather quickly. I feel as though you rushed the story from the sex scene on. One minute they were having tea, a few pages later her son was going to be an orphan. I could not invest in... read
  • A review of A Liquored Vicar
    by max sappa on 10/17/2014
    Am I offended? No! Am I religious? No! Does this short feel too long? Yes! Does the acting feel like overacting? Yes, in parts... When you have the camera fixed on somebody for this long, you either have a great monologue, acted well (like the gold watch monologue in 'Pulp Fiction') or you have a well edited short version that get to the point. And this is the true reason... read
  • by TOURBOY on 10/16/2014
    For starters I would have to say I liked your screenplays concept. There is definitely a lot of potential. I believe that you need to have a better set up of who your characters are in your first act, specifically your hook. In my opinion you must spend more time introducing us to your premise. You gloss over Marcus and Anna with much to light a stroke. You need to develop... read
  • A review of Mt. Clement v.2
    by David Muhlfelder on 10/16/2014
    I liked this script. It's a well written and easy read. The fact that you originally wrote it in 1998, and its themes remain relevant today speaks volumes. The subject matter is timely, and unfortunately for all of us, not likely to become dated anytime soon. I don't have a lot in the way of notes, just some suggestions for you to consider. Randolph is a good flawed protagonist... read
  • A review of Goddess
    by 1987brian on 10/16/2014
    Hi. I haven't read a feature screenplay in quite some time so bear with me. There is a lot to like about this, but I feel you could have got more from some scenes. More on that later. The writing was excellent. I noticed a few mistakes, but I was reading on my phone so I couldn't take note, but nothing major. It was a very quick read, even the final battle was a breeze to... read
  • A review of 5-12
    by Michael Leath on 10/16/2014
    Experimental formatting is okay with me. I can appreciate the time and trouble you must have had creating this story, then dissecting it the way you did. The page references were confusing. Was I expected to go review those when I read the page where they were referenced? So as much as I think I can keep up, there were things I just had to ignore to get to the story. Your writing... read
  • A review of Bring Back Lost Lover
    by Russ2007 on 10/16/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read