• A review of I Chanced Upon a Faun
    by Cab Coola on 07/13/2014
    This was a well written fantasy about the legend of a rustic forest god. The structure was clean and the concept very interesting which kept my attention throughout. I couldn't spot any typo's or any errors and I thought the story was flawless besides the end. I didn't really understand why she wanted to break up the family they just started. It seemed they were surviving... read
  • A review of Let Them Come Apart
    by aaandronova on 07/13/2014
    First of all, I ‘d like to mention what I do not write about in my reviews: 1. Since I am not a native English speaker, I mostly do not write about dialogue and grammar errors. 2. Also I do not write about structure because I have no idea what it is. As I don’t know whether this much talked-about structure is good or bad, I always mark 5 stars and that’s it! 3. I do not write... read
  • A review of 4 WAY STOP
    by Cab Coola on 07/13/2014
    I don't know too much about screenplay formats or rules so I can't offer advice or corrections. But I will tell ya what I thought of the story. It was good. You did a great job of giving each character their own distinguishable personality. Although at first, the flood of characters confused me, it wasn't long before I got a grasp on them. The story itself, reminded me of a... read
  • by molloy on 07/13/2014
    You have a great talent for dialogue and description. It seems like you were in law enforcement, have read a lot of crime novels or watched a lot of crime movies. Maybe all of those. The script gave me a visceral reaction when reading about how cruel some people can be. Some of the killing seemed a little gratuitous. I didn't understand why Tony killed Salvatore. I also would... read
  • A review of Any Legacy
    by Studio2grl on 07/13/2014
    Interesting concept of an old man's lonely last days told through vignettes and flashbacks with voice over. It feels like an experimental short. I think the strong POV shots and inserts work to make it a richer piece. However, it doesn't quite cut together as cohesively as it could. A lot of shots linger too long and with the narrative it just feels a bit slow and unmotivated... read
  • A review of Farrah
    by srhite on 07/13/2014
    Review of Farrah If Sammy is afraid to ski again, it should be from an epic accident that put him in the hospital for a long time. Having it be a back injury is too minor and doesn't drive the story. The Farrah thing with her pretending to be a rich girl from a good family just evaporates without explanation. I never did really understand how that was all relevant to being... read
  • by max zugu on 07/12/2014
    A very, very gritty crime story, Strangers in the Night is decently written. The characters are well-written, the plot is pretty good, and the violence is very vivid and intense. Nothing truly special stands out about it, but it could give actors a lot to chew on, with all the tough guy dialogue, beatings, and killings. The multiple locations create some dynamism. Some typos:... read
  • A review of Double Pop
    by dkimg21 on 07/12/2014
    I was doubtful when I read the synopsis, but then again, it hooked me into reading this script over my other assignments. The concept of a geometry teacher turning into a real estate agent is intriguing. Shooter, a high school teacher accused of "rape", must leave New York for San Francisco. As much as I like the concept, I feel like it could have been executed better. For... read
  • A review of P.A.M.
    by Jason Lewis on 07/12/2014
    As far as visceral horror goes, there's potential here. The fundamentals need work, but a lot of the right elements are already in place, or at least implied, and the relatively simple nature of the story leaves you with plenty of room to maneuver. For me, the one thing that really brings the story together is the climax of the film—a traditional lifeboat scenario in which... read
  • A review of Running the Asylum
    by Michael Keller on 07/12/2014
    Running the Asylum is a professionally rendered, commercially viable action/thriller. It's a quick and entertaining read. I think it could also work as a video game. I have no major issues with it. Here are my running notes and minor nitpicks: -Very evocative opening page, giving us hints about how the guy feels and where he is in his life. -Good tension with the sweating... read
  • A review of CHARMING
    by ramassey on 07/12/2014
    Hi I just finished reading CHARMING and was really blown away by your prose and beautiful style. This is really not my type of story but I still enjoyed the cheekiness of it all. The characters were good but it was a bit over populated. The structure seemed slightly off which, in my opinion, is due to the story being over written. Edited down a touch I feel it would all fall... read
  • by EliDonaldson on 07/12/2014
    Concept: A man who discovers that he's getting divorced at his 15th anniversary surprise party has to rediscover his life and independence. Characters: A lot of diverse characters inhabit this story world. Paul: Who was kind of too uptight and upright, but loosened up a lot after he began hanging around with the younger people. B (Belinda): The neighbor who was always... read
  • by Nelson B on 07/12/2014
    STORY: An interesting story with lots of characters and formatting that leaves something to be desired. The story wasn't built around any one character. It could have easily been an ensemble except it was one storyline. WRITING: What is "O.C.?" You used two names for Whitey (Reggie). Always stick with the first one. Even though it may not be the right one. (p.77) Massive... read
  • A review of The Walking Man
    by Cab Coola on 07/12/2014
    This story reminded me of the creepy guy from 'Home Alone'. It was the age old expression of 'judging a book by it's cover'. Was the walking man really as bad and scary as the kid thought? Or was it a case of mistaken identity? I enjoyed it and was waiting with anticipation for the ultimate battle or to even find out what this old man was about... but there was nothing. The... read
  • A review of Double Pop
    by DouglasAGriffin on 07/12/2014
    The story kept my interest throughout which is my personal (admittedly amateur) test for good structure and so I give it high marks on that front. The premise of being accused of a sexual deviancy (when the truth is innocence) has a lot of potential and while it is clear Shooter’s life changed because of it, I did not see the change as an expression of Shooter’s will or effort... read