Reviews
Hi
Thanks for letting me review this -- some thoughts 'out of season'---
*) obviously the budget here is low, so it's forgivable that we see all sorts of modern city elements when it's supposed to be 1917 Vienna
*) The camerawork was commendable in the opening, showing nicely the details of the room
*) I'm not sure what your aims are in terms of final product, but there's...
Hi
Thanks for letting me review this -- some thoughts 'out of season'---
*) obviously the budget here is low, so it's forgivable that we see all sorts of modern city elements when it's supposed to be 1917 Vienna
*) The camerawork was commendable in the opening, showing nicely the details of the room
*) I'm not sure what your aims are in terms of final product, but there's no story here. Obviously, if you were just going for an impression, that's fine, but keep in mind that 2 and 1/2 minutes is plenty of time to build a story or at least rudimentary narrative elements (of which there were none here). I'm not even sure what kind of art this students makes, and the references to Nietzsche seem vague and unnecessary.
*) the music, while good at the start, was used too long -- mostly because like I felt the 'establishing' beat had passed, and we needed to move onto something else
But again, if you make a short without story, you're really only going to get a simple effect.
Thanks again for letting me review this, and best of luck with future work
PS
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The film introduced us to Santa’s Blog.
Santa is preparing for Christmas and toy delivery but a war has sprung up because of the Mayan Calendar events.
The film quality was adequate for the project with no blur or out of focus shots. Good.
Camera work was good with scenes set so the actor was always in focus and in good lighting, Excellent.
Sound: Excellent Volume throughout...
The film introduced us to Santa’s Blog.
Santa is preparing for Christmas and toy delivery but a war has sprung up because of the Mayan Calendar events.
The film quality was adequate for the project with no blur or out of focus shots. Good.
Camera work was good with scenes set so the actor was always in focus and in good lighting, Excellent.
Sound: Excellent Volume throughout and across cuts. There was no drop in sound quality when the actor moved or turned away. Excellent.
The film was obviously low/no budget production and as such was excellent. The storyline is complete and continuous with no gaps or lapses. If picked up by a bigger budget project it could be an excellent short film. Good job.
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You have yourself a well-done little story here. The hollow sound fading in, and color, or lack of it, made for a nice setup. Camera movement flowed with the actors, who did a wonderful job, but I will say picture quality was a little off, which I’m guessing more upload, pixel size type problem. I wondered if the two were doomed to relive the fight, their death, or had resolved...
You have yourself a well-done little story here. The hollow sound fading in, and color, or lack of it, made for a nice setup. Camera movement flowed with the actors, who did a wonderful job, but I will say picture quality was a little off, which I’m guessing more upload, pixel size type problem. I wondered if the two were doomed to relive the fight, their death, or had resolved the issues and were now ready to move on. Anyway, food for thought, so your art made me think beyond the short.
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Hello there, this is fabulous! I love shoes, I love Lynch and I love noir... and I think you made something excellent combining all these elements. For the record, I haven't seen the Louboutin commercials.
The story gives great opportunity for a lot of different approaches. If I interpreted it well, the women killed someone or was on her way to kill someone, and is at a hotel...
Hello there, this is fabulous! I love shoes, I love Lynch and I love noir... and I think you made something excellent combining all these elements. For the record, I haven't seen the Louboutin commercials.
The story gives great opportunity for a lot of different approaches. If I interpreted it well, the women killed someone or was on her way to kill someone, and is at a hotel room right before or right after the deed, mesmerizing about it. Very femme fatal and very powerful story if executed well. And it was.
I thought your actress / model did a great job. The way she was dressed and how she acted showed a very cliché femme fatal, but the way you edited it and played with the light gave it a different approach, on the edge between experimental and commercial.
Technically I thought it was great. The chiaroscuro was beautiful, in particular how you moved the light around in a semi chaotic way. The rythm of this short is a direct result of the way you work light and the way you edited. It feels as if there's a lot of movement, whereas the actress and the camera barely have any movement at all. That's an achievement.
The colors were lovely as well. I like how you combined very plain colors (white, beige, grey, black) with more vivid colors (red in the blood, blue, the green signs on the highway).
The music added the final touch to the mix, to make this short a pleasure to watch. It inspired me to look differently at chiaroscuro. I'll recommend it, and start loading the Louboutin commercials that inspired you. Cheers.
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The film is correct technically. The acting is good, the photography, the sound, etc. Maybe it’s the lack of conflict the weak point in this film. Nothing changes in the characters from the beginning to the end, one of them wants to quit and at the end… He quits. Perhaps it is simply a tale about a teenager’s vocation ending, no more than that. I don’t know.
First off i would like to say way to get out there and make a film. I know how hard it can be to actually get up and get people together, then make plans and arrangements. I like the concept behind your film and bringing a female lead role back that has been missing for awhile. However the script was laking so much, look into western dramatic story structure for help with this...
First off i would like to say way to get out there and make a film. I know how hard it can be to actually get up and get people together, then make plans and arrangements. I like the concept behind your film and bringing a female lead role back that has been missing for awhile. However the script was laking so much, look into western dramatic story structure for help with this. You have a beginning but thats it, your character should have a major flaw she has to overcome, its called arc and is why characters can look real, what was the first second and third acts? you should have a plot point to force the character into making a decision. What was she trying to do? without a goal for the main character the story is bland. story needs lots of work, without a great strong compelling story that follows structure and has rhythm don't even start the film. too much can go wrong even with a great script, a truly great script can be ruined by the camera work which yours was a bit sloppy for a experienced film maker. use height of camera, lens choice, camera moves and composition to bring the viewer into their world. This was a pretty sloppy short. It is imperative that the viewer is not conscious of the camera, different things can pull someone out of the story, jerky camera breaks the illusion and forces the viewer to pay attention to the bad camera instead of the movie. You have a lot to learn so take your time on the next one, and set up every shot individually, make sure there is a good foreground mid-ground and background to every shot. It may take four or five different days to do but would payoff. Your short was ok-ish for a beginner with no budget, but hope you can learn some more before you get out there and do another. "master shots" vol. 1 and vol. 2 are great books. there are also different schools online, that are relatively inexpensive and give great knowledge and insight into film making. such programs would be lightsfilmschool and sneak on the lot. good luck on your next project!
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I was not very impressed with the plot and the acting, but the cinematography was really good. I also like the effect used with cupboard doors moving. The casting was odd, too, as I expected a teenager, possibly 15 or so, to be hiding under the covers. The frightened looked older than the people playing the parents. With the title "Adventure", I expected some more excitement...
I was not very impressed with the plot and the acting, but the cinematography was really good. I also like the effect used with cupboard doors moving. The casting was odd, too, as I expected a teenager, possibly 15 or so, to be hiding under the covers. The frightened looked older than the people playing the parents. With the title "Adventure", I expected some more excitement.
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Although I don’t agree with your views and obsessions with violence in movies, you did a great job executing your idea, no pun intended. Very reminiscent of Videodrome. The stop motion was great and the murder of these electronics was humorous and entertaining. The narration was spot on as well and projected a sort of Orwellian feel that I found perfect for the subject matter...
Although I don’t agree with your views and obsessions with violence in movies, you did a great job executing your idea, no pun intended. Very reminiscent of Videodrome. The stop motion was great and the murder of these electronics was humorous and entertaining. The narration was spot on as well and projected a sort of Orwellian feel that I found perfect for the subject matter.
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Depressed and lonely men sitting in their apartments do not make good lead characters! Although the actor did a great job with the material presented to him, displaying a wide array of emotions, simply put, it was pointless and repetitive. The short could have been cut down to a single minute and the viewer still would have gotten the message and understood the character. I...
Depressed and lonely men sitting in their apartments do not make good lead characters! Although the actor did a great job with the material presented to him, displaying a wide array of emotions, simply put, it was pointless and repetitive. The short could have been cut down to a single minute and the viewer still would have gotten the message and understood the character. I understood what you were getting at and trying to portray, but really, break ups and lonely men moping around are just not interesting or visually appealing.
Technically however, everything was great and a major step up from some of your previous works. Lighting and set design portrayed the mood well and visually expressed the darkness and disarray that filled his mind perfectly. The jump cuts and sudden snaps in attitude and behavior were great and again visually helped show the characters state of mind.
What I am trying to get at is that the story should be visual and told through mostly actions and images. Most important of all, the character must take action. Action is character and characters drive the story. Your short which is almost entirely dialogue would make a good poem or short story, but as a film, the audience needs more. Having a man walk around his apartment for five minutes going through the same motions is redundant and unnecessary. This would make a great opening scene, setting the mood and hooking the audience, but by itself, the scene just does not hold up.
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I liked this short, well done! It had good rythm to it. I felt you dedicated a lot of time to the opening, maybe a bit too much, but that got compensated with excellent editing and great acting. When he has the purse and she's going to jump, on I felt you kept the tension going on a thin line between drama, suspense and comedy. The whole had a very realistic and natural feel...
I liked this short, well done! It had good rythm to it. I felt you dedicated a lot of time to the opening, maybe a bit too much, but that got compensated with excellent editing and great acting. When he has the purse and she's going to jump, on I felt you kept the tension going on a thin line between drama, suspense and comedy. The whole had a very realistic and natural feel.
Technically I thought it was very elegant, particularly the first part. The editing was excellent. The colors maybe could have been tweeked just a bit: they seemed a bit washed out to me. If technically possible, I would have added some wide shots. The music and sound were good as well.
As a conclusion I think that this was a very good short and I recommended it.
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The film is 3 minutes and has 1 actor and 1 location.
This is a film about a homeless man living in an abandoned building by the sea. It appears that all the shots use only natural lighting and the camera is hand-held. There is no dialog, only voice-over on top of short clips, and still montages, of the homeless man going through several activities (scrounging for food, drinking,...
The film is 3 minutes and has 1 actor and 1 location.
This is a film about a homeless man living in an abandoned building by the sea. It appears that all the shots use only natural lighting and the camera is hand-held. There is no dialog, only voice-over on top of short clips, and still montages, of the homeless man going through several activities (scrounging for food, drinking, talking to himself, sleeping, peeing, ...). The voice-over is a poem on the indifference of society to the homeless. I liked the poem.
If I had an suggestions, it might be to use a tripod+dolly for all the shots, and eliminate the still shots. However, I liked the concept and moral aspect. Good job!
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Great use of stop motion and sound design to create a creepy, intriguing and sometimes humorous short. It is amazing to see how much you were able to do with the simple action of carving a pumpkin. The small gags sprinkled throughout such as the goop dripping out of the pumpkins eyes were great and well spaced. Everything was perfect except for the effects (shaking camera,...
Great use of stop motion and sound design to create a creepy, intriguing and sometimes humorous short. It is amazing to see how much you were able to do with the simple action of carving a pumpkin. The small gags sprinkled throughout such as the goop dripping out of the pumpkins eyes were great and well spaced. Everything was perfect except for the effects (shaking camera, etc.) which were completely unnecessary, in my opinion. Overall great job though, I was thoroughly entertained throughout.
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Bonjour :)
I loved this! This was such a great sketch to make into something cinematic, excellent choice! Your actors did well too, but maybe, considering that it was a silent comedy, they could have been more expressive. That would also require you to pick shots that showed their faces a bit more though. The guy had one moment of expression, the girl none. That's a pity,...
Bonjour :)
I loved this! This was such a great sketch to make into something cinematic, excellent choice! Your actors did well too, but maybe, considering that it was a silent comedy, they could have been more expressive. That would also require you to pick shots that showed their faces a bit more though. The guy had one moment of expression, the girl none. That's a pity, more expressive action and shots would have given this short more punch. But overall I thought they did good.
Technically I thought you explored some great possibilities but you stayed on the surface. The split screen was an awesome idea and gave this sketch that bit of needed extra. In particular I thought that desynchronising it was an interesting choice, if done on purpose (when the guy looks back and tries to see the girls face). However it wasn't clear enough if it was done on purpose or a mistake. It might have been interesting to see some different angles too, more diversity in the shots and different shapes of split screen, all things you did touch on, but not very deeply.
One minus point was the cutting. It's not clean enough. I felt sometimes you cut too quickly (when the guy makes a face) and the transitions sometimes work, but other times they feel a bit clunky (the first cut of the guy). The zoom into the hat in the end was too long.
The song was a good choice.
In general I felt this short explored a lot of options, but I would have been interested in seeing the ideas worked out a bit more. The choice of sketch definately gave opportunity for some avantgarde work (simple plot, few characters, one location). Those would be some interesting options to explore in a second version. What is needed very much though, is cleaner cutting. For me that last would make this short from 'good' to 'excellent'. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
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" You Deplete Me " Is a whirlwind of sadness and anger. It rhymes a lot. The concept is good, and the delivery is as expected. My question is why. Why did Carly leave the sad and drunk man? Was it because he's a messy alcoholic?
I need to know why these two are not together (maybe I missed it). I need to know the state of the lead character, before he was depleted. That's...
" You Deplete Me " Is a whirlwind of sadness and anger. It rhymes a lot. The concept is good, and the delivery is as expected. My question is why. Why did Carly leave the sad and drunk man? Was it because he's a messy alcoholic?
I need to know why these two are not together (maybe I missed it). I need to know the state of the lead character, before he was depleted. That's why I couldn't really get with the story. However, you are braver than I am, to get in front of the camera and just let it go. So for that I give you a standing ovation.
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Extremely un-entertaining. An impossible 8 minutes to sit through. Unbearable for an audience. No creativity, no story, no acting, no coherant plot.
Just boring and unwatchable.
Another film maker not taking into account an audience and them having to sit through this mish mosh.
Can't really find anything postive to say.
