Reviews

  • A review of Only When I Dream
    by Michael Leath on 10/18/2014
    So we meet again. Page 1 “Are you sure you want me to read that one again?” She pleadingly asked. “Yes. It’s my favorite story.” This is better. It breaks up the on the nose aspect of your beginning. “This will be the third time this week.” “Yes, it’s my favorite story.” It was about a prince who threw a rock at a witch who punished him by turning him in to a dragon,... read
  • by Michael Leath on 10/17/2014
    Review sites, or critique sites, normally have a ceiling on talent. Those with the ability to construct a professional story, hitting all the beats of grammar, punctuation and story, don’t normally tread these waters. About half way through your tale I stopped and went to your profile looking for the bio. Forgive me Rex for using adult language. What came out of my mouth was,... read
  • by sergiev2 on 10/17/2014
    Hey Chris, Man, you are good at creepy tales. I presume this is the same Zed that was in your other tale, yes? The dues in your stories are a very curious lot. This is really courtship for the wierd twitter generation. I enjoyed this thuroughly, from the character having his brother cover up his tracks for all the women he falls in love with, to getting the girls name... read
  • A review of Indigo
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/17/2014
    I've read a lot of short stories and a lot of stories in general. I must admit this is one of the beat I have ever read. You entrap the reader in Indigo ' s beauty. I could tell the victim was being schemed as I'm sure he did as well, but I almost let that go and hoped for a sweet nice ending only to be told I was right in the first place. The characters were great, the descriptions... read
  • A review of I Chanced Upon a Faun
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/17/2014
    You have a unique writing style with a great utilization of the English language. I enjoyed the beginning of this story. The description of the Faun was fantastic. You drew me in to your world rather quickly. I feel as though you rushed the story from the sex scene on. One minute they were having tea, a few pages later her son was going to be an orphan. I could not invest in... read
  • A review of 5-12
    by Michael Leath on 10/16/2014
    Experimental formatting is okay with me. I can appreciate the time and trouble you must have had creating this story, then dissecting it the way you did. The page references were confusing. Was I expected to go review those when I read the page where they were referenced? So as much as I think I can keep up, there were things I just had to ignore to get to the story. Your writing... read
  • by Michael Leath on 10/15/2014
    Breeze Blocks and Broken Glass Page 1 "I'll have a Margarita." My words bounced in her small round ears. The tag in this sentence doesn’t fit your writing. You show a wonderful style, but this imagery falls short of what you’ve done up until now. "Margarita huh?" She asked inquisitively. The question mark is punctuation, but in dialog it is not the end of the sentence... read
  • A review of Twelve Twelve Twelve
    by micheleraedejean on 10/15/2014
    This gal is schizophrenic, has OCD but is not delusional! I really hope no one really lives like this but I guess you got your idea from somewhere, but hopefully not your own life. This is a strange little well written horror story. I guess the moral is “just because you seem crazy doesn’t mean you totally are.” There are no errors that I found and the writing was clear and... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by Michael Leath on 10/15/2014
    In writing there are some truths about constructing stories which need to be incorporated into your skill set. The dialog is weak, mostly because it is on the nose. This means people are answering each other precisely by what the other says. "Are you going to school?" "Yes, I'm going to school." You started off the dialog well, but it lapsed into this type of exchange. Dialog... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by matt r jones on 10/14/2014
    I started reading this believing that it would involve a monster that was otherworldly but the truth is much worse than imagination. Its a topic that will create such a strong emotional response that the story has to be of high quality to do it justice. Thankfully, I think you do it quite well. This must have been a difficult story to write as you need to be careful with such... read
  • A review of Heart Shaped Box
    by rexb99 on 10/14/2014
    aylor, I'm not really able to criticize 'Heart Shaped Box' because I simply don't get it. The story either goes over my head (and possibly I am insensitive to nuance), or the writing is altogether wonky and not connecting with the subject matter. e.g. Mel's apartment was furnished with a cat? For me, at least, things seem to be all over the place: we only find out that 'Mel... read
  • A review of Junk Food
    by MaxWatt on 10/13/2014
    Jeezuz, that's sent shivers down my back, front, sides. And insides. Your characters have great voices, and they pop out of the page in all their colours. However, it suffers from a blunt and emotionless narration that has no focal point. You need to decide whose story this is, first off, rather than letting the creep-out concept dominate it. Stories engage us because of their... read
  • A review of Fly
    by micheleraedejean on 10/13/2014
    This was an interesting use of the annoyance of a fly in an unusual setting. Like everyone else I find flies annoying but I do know that they are merely creatures of reflex and do not have a brain. Why is the fly a cunt? That turned me off as I have always abhorred that word. Why was he worried about screaming after he swatted the fly when he was willing to shoot a gun off?... read
  • A review of Sensible Shoes
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/13/2014
    I like this pulp like tale, it reminds me of the noir style films. I was a bit unclear regarding the death of Adrian. I know he was a kinky guy that liked bondage, but in this day and age that sort of thing is pretty common. At least in major cities. I imagine this story is set in the past though. Why was he murdered. Was he murdered? Did he die of a heart attack? Carole and... read
  • A review of Fly
    by matt r jones on 10/13/2014
    I've read and reviewed a few stories these past three days and each has had a great concept behind it, this is the same. I love the idea of a guy camped out in a stump, waiting for the war to end. Unfortunately, there are a couple of things that put me off. The first is the use of the word 'c***'. Its such a strong word and one that I hate. I'm sure others find it acceptable... read
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