Reviews

  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    The pulp style rhythm of this story reals the reader in almost immediately. We feel like its going to be a good cop on the beat style of short story. You made it clear the narrator was a real hard ass that never took anything from anyone. This attitude carries over until he has a real issue he needs help tackling. The way that you added in the romance was fantastic. You peppered... read
  • A review of Mikey
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    I've seen a couple stories like this on triggerstreet. Some of the best stories as a matter of fact. This one was written better for children than the others. I have a nine year old little girl and I sometimes write kids stories for her or about her and I realize it is extremely difficult to get all of their personality traits and emotional quips just right, but you did. I... read
  • A review of Bobby
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    The characters in this story really shined. No misspelled words or grammatical errors. The story flowed nicely. I always enjoy a great ghost story especially one that has a hint of comedy in it. Like I said the characters were magnificent. The description of the young thugs along with their checkered personalities made for a fine read. Thanks for sharing this one. One thing... read
  • A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    Hey Mike, I'm always happy to see something in my assignment list from you. Let me first congratulate you on the spectacular imagery in this piece. Your adjectives are always inviting and have a way of drawing the reader in. With that being said I read this story about four times and I'm still at a loss. I want to think the story is about a brutal murder, but from my calculations... read
  • A review of Reviewing Rachel
    by sergiev2 on 10/22/2014
    Hey Mike, Wonderful story. As with most who have reviewed it, I presume it has hit pretty close to home. However, I have never had the temptation to jack another writer's work off the site. This Nick deserved what he got! The one thing I believe will make the story stronger is to have something about Nick tie in with Rachel's beast. The guy is scared of criticism - his heart... read
  • by Michael Leath on 10/22/2014
    I would suggest you add a header or footer to all manuscripts with the copyright logo, your name and date. This is the internet, and while I’d love to believe people are basically honest, that is most likely wrong. Page 1 ***I was walking to the store to buy something for my mother until one day I was snatched from the street. This sentence has a flaw. The previous sentence... read
  • by telliott on 10/22/2014
    Tom wins a swimming race without getting wet. To me, that is the bottom line of this story. He also gets the woman he has been longing for but was too shy to ask out. This story is what is so great about British comedy. The underdog prevails but in a way not foreseen by many. At least not by this reader. My knowledge of British entertainment is from the 1980s and early 1990s... read
  • A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by rexb99 on 10/22/2014
    Somehow the ghost of William Burroughs haunts Michael Leith's 'Egyptian Cotton'. At once dangerously jagged and seductively smooth, the words grow to describe a perverse climax and reveal much more than what is on the page. I was still eager to read this story for a fifth time. The style is dense and the feeling is that you, the reader, are bound and gagged inside the head... read
  • A review of Casey's First Time
    by Michael Leath on 10/21/2014
    First, I encourage you to use a header or footer with the copyright logo and your name and date. Protect yourself. Page - Prologue ***It was summerish time somewhere in North Ohio and at sometime towards the end of the ninety's I have several issues with this line. First, you thought enough of it to include it, but the time and season are both entitled with –ish endings... read
  • by telliott on 10/21/2014
    I love so much about this story. It is a slice in the life of a dysfunctional family. It is simply written almost to the point of being pedestrian, yet it is very well written. It is low key yet says a lot. In short, I love every aspect of it. I cannot for the life of me think of a single error that drew me out of the story. Why the husband acts like a dick is not important... read
  • A review of Indian Summer
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/21/2014
    I always look forward to your stories. Whether it be a western, a sci-fi or a romance they all have great messages. I suppose that is your strongest point. The dialogue is great and the story is good but it is always the underlying moral of the story that carries you until the end. Slavery was terrible. We live in a different time now where people don't get strung up instead... read
  • A review of Dust in the Wind
    by telliott on 10/21/2014
    I like how this story brings two families together. Alas, some things don’t last, as noted on page 20: Perhaps some things just aren’t made to last forever. However, the next sentence is indicative of one of the issues that needs to be addressed, I think. That next sentence (This is an example …) is not needed. It is redundant and completely negates any foreshadowing impact... read
  • A review of The Holy Man Show!
    by Michael Leath on 10/21/2014
    My initial suggestion is to place a header or footer on any and all of your work and attach the copyright seal and your name and date to all you put in public. This piece was very well written. I saw no flaws in the delivery. Your vocabulary wasn't over written, or too high a level for the average person to latch on to this story. It is a compelling tale of the end of times,... read
  • A review of Indigo
    by micheleraedejean on 10/21/2014
    I think I remember reading a story of yours some time ago with a female character named Indigo who had a liaison with a man with a fiancee, whom he also temporarily forgot about like in this short piece. This story was much shorter but still about the power of a beautiful woman. The line about her skin being that of someone who worked out seems more like it should be the skintight... read
  • A review of 5-12
    by nemdab on 10/21/2014
    I started without reading the instructions and was instantly confused. Once I had read your description of the concept, it made more sense, but was still a little light on explanation which added to the intrigue. Unfortunately, I seemed to get stuck in a loop which didn't give me any more options, which I think involved pages 7, 16 and maybe 36, so I had to shut it down without... read
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