"Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result."

- Oscar Wilde

Reviews

  • A review of Mind Games
    by rexb99 on 04/16/2014
    Such a man-made hi tech heaven has been imagined many times by fiction writers and AI designers and engineers. It would be a monumental feat of computing to achieve such a thing, but not theoretically impossible. I appreciate, therefore, that this mind bogglingly expensive facility is reserved only for the cognoscenti. You don't need to say 'the elderly passenger' then a few... read
  • A review of Snow Falls Hard
    by rexb99 on 04/16/2014
    Off the top, as he comes in to work, we are in the present tense. Then it slips into the past tense with his flashback of the relationship with his girlfriend (we don't learn her name until a third of the way through the story) and his going off to college. At 'she rolls her eyes' the tense changes from past to present. Presumably making this scene continuous with the opening... read
  • by rexb99 on 04/16/2014
    The stairs are torn apart with stuffing coming out? This would work better if the toupee didn't speak exactly the same way as the narrator. If the narrator didn't employ any expletives at first in his descriptions and the toupee used MORE it would be a lot funnier. He could start talking like the toupee as he is assimilated by the fat guy, which would make the whole thing... read
  • A review of O's and X's
    by rexb99 on 04/16/2014
    There's a strange woman knocking on the door - Then, a page later: Oh, Nick knows Rose does he? What are the quotation marks and en-dashes about in this passage?: “him”—Rose found “Kurt – Home” Somewhere along I-40 Rose popped from the passenger's seat to the back seat where Nick could only see her in the rear view mirror. Or were you saying that he looked in the rear view... read
  • A review of EPIPHANY
    by Karl Gorman on 04/16/2014
    Although this is a delightful interior monologue, and the protagonist is vivid, I do have a very strong suggestion of change with this. With the beautiful one liner that is first said in ... Latin? ... which is then translated. It is done a bit too plainly here in this otherwise colorful very-short-story. I suggest one of the children in the back seat mumble that sentence... read
  • by Karl Gorman on 04/16/2014
    The poetic vignette at the start of this is really quite beautiful and intriguing. The story that follows is smoothly readable, but it lacks originality. There is nothing particularly new about this vampire's persona or about how vampires exist in this world or about the turn of events that happen to this protagonist's approximate 300 year life as a vampire. There is subtlety... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by argod on 04/15/2014
    I was interested to see where the dialogue was going but it didn't. It was a little startling to go from a dialogue heavy opening to have no more dialogue throughout the rest. The backgrounds about the girls and their friends was a nice touch but seemed a bit superfluous. The feelings of guilt, anger, fear, are all portrayed very fully in this complicated emotional journey... read
  • by ischneid87 on 04/15/2014
    The Black Rose of Mythe has a very intriguing premise. A vampire adapts to maintain her lifestyle as the society she lives outside of develops and changes over centuries. RUNNING NOTES: p. 4. "With each passing hour and each new spinning the yarn evolved and was made more tangled, more macabre, especially when told at night, in pubs, when listeners were propped up by drink... read
  • A review of Bottle 13
    by micheleraedejean on 04/15/2014
    Something about this reminded me of “Leaving Las Vegas”, an alcoholic loser drinking himself to death for unknown reasons. It is not that the author is not good but this story seems out of focus and rambling. I didn’t like the main character but more importantly I didn’t care about him based on what’s presented in this story. It was hard to have any understanding of, or empathy... read
  • A review of EPIPHANY
    by mitchellgolden on 04/15/2014
    I immediately loved your voice the moment I started the piece. It does that rare thing where you feel the writer is actually talking to you rather than pounding out words on a page. But before I let you bask in the glow of that praise, I do have to give you a warning: fall in love with your voice too much, and you'll get in trouble. There were some trouble spots in the later... read
  • A review of A Child Is Born
    by rexb99 on 04/15/2014
    Good twist. Is this story true? I mean was Hitler the son of a border guard? Now that I go back and read it again I keep thinking that the discoveries on the bridge should be taking Alois away from running to attend to his wife who someone says is having trouble with the birth. If you could somehow convey the idea that if only Alois had made it back to her he would have somehow... read
  • A review of Four girls
    by rexb99 on 04/15/2014
    What, your script wasn't long enough to be accepted into the screenplay section? :-\ Too bad, you leave yourself open to mucho criticism for that in this category (short stories). But I'll review it anyway because I'm a friendly movie director. You have to do everything you can to make the read as smooth as possible. For example, this is too hard to figure out: "INT... read
  • A review of The Dead Birds
    by rexb99 on 04/15/2014
    This story is beautifully written. Nice to come upon someone who rewrites diligently. I was comfortable being taken exactly where the writer wanted me to go until the very end. That's where a question killed the flow. Now, perhaps I'm thick, but if this is the reawakening of a persecuted witch and the story takes place in the modern day, what group of organized persecutors... read
  • by ProfRedSweater on 04/14/2014
    “The Black Rose of Mythe” has a nice flow to the writing, and I enjoyed quite a bit of the poem about the wind to start the story, but I felt like this story lacked a unique approach to the vampire mythology. It’s essentially a backstory to a main character, but Isabelle has no distinct voice, and her story fits the majority of generic vampire origins. As a result I’m left... read
  • A review of Remembrance
    by telliott on 04/14/2014
    This very short short story has the potential be a gentle, moving tribute to military members that served their countries and gave the ultimate sacrifice. Let's get the technical points out of the way. The downloaded version has no title. It is also been set larger than 12 point, I believe, but that could just be me. Paragraphs need to be indented. This is a moving passage:... read
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