"Those who write clearly have readers; those who write obscurely have commentators."

- Albert Camus


  • A review of Indigo
    by nemdab on 10/24/2014
    Very well written. You have a good control of language. I found a couple of phrases I didn't like (using sans instead of without), but as it was written in the first person I put this down to character. The prose moved along well and kept me wanting to read on. The story was short, which suited it well, but meant that I was very aware that something had to happen, and found... read
  • by asankagurusinghe on 10/24/2014
    I have read quite a few stories like this on the site but it is well done. Told from the perspective of an affable drinker at a smalltown bar, it morphs into something else entirely. You could imaging Joe Lansdale writing something like this. I wouldn't say there was much more to it, but it zips along and is entertaining enough. You could picture the characters and when the... read
  • A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by telliott on 10/23/2014
    Flash fiction expertly written, Egyptian Cotton takes the reader into the world of its character with rich descriptions and graceful arrangements of words. Hard to offer any improvements for this one. Only a few things come to mind. On page 1 reference is made to the woman’s leg, as it “was a dancer’s leg”. Two paragraphs later it is mentioned that she could have been a... read
  • A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by micheleraedejean on 10/23/2014
    This was a very creepy piece, as intended I presume. I didn’t particularly like it but I don’t think I was supposed to. It was craftily done and error free. Not much I can tell you to do with such a short work. If you were going for a short story I would say that I would like more descriptions of the murderer’s mind and how the crime was discovered but given this was very short... read
  • A review of Drinkers VS Computers
    by telliott on 10/23/2014
    Getting a reader to like an on-the-dole, lives-with-his-older-sister, hard-drinking uni grad is not easy but this writer manages it quite well. I could picture the main character and his hang-over as they frantically kissed their benefits goodbye in the local Working Skills Center. Some of my favorites: Itched like chickenpox. Grey light oozed in through the venetian blinds... read
  • A review of Angel
    by Michael Leath on 10/23/2014
    This story was well crafted, and had a feel of a letter from home, more than a piece of fiction. The characters were clever and the dialog sharp. While this was an enjoyable read, I did find myself thinking this was more a series of vignettes rather than a story with an arc. Your voice ion this is pleasing, familiar, as if this was a friend telling about their summer vacation... read
  • A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by theauthor on 10/23/2014
    Not the writing, the character is brutal. I thought this was well-written, poetic in its off-the-cuff kind of approach. The ending is swift and unexpected. If I absolutely had to nitpick any grammar: I would put 'bare leg' or simply 'nude' and I believe it should be minimal instead of minimum. (But don't trust my English. I got high grades on creative writing so I slagged a... read
  • A review of TREE OF LIFE
    by Michael Leath on 10/23/2014
    I suggest putting a header or footer on all of your manuscripts you intend to put in public with the copyright logo, your name and date. Page 1 The formatting of this piece is incorrect for industry standard. If you intend to market your fiction, you will need to adhere to the formatting rules expected by periodicals who buy same. One inch border all around. No extra space... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    The pulp style rhythm of this story reals the reader in almost immediately. We feel like its going to be a good cop on the beat style of short story. You made it clear the narrator was a real hard ass that never took anything from anyone. This attitude carries over until he has a real issue he needs help tackling. The way that you added in the romance was fantastic. You peppered... read
  • A review of Mikey
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    I've seen a couple stories like this on triggerstreet. Some of the best stories as a matter of fact. This one was written better for children than the others. I have a nine year old little girl and I sometimes write kids stories for her or about her and I realize it is extremely difficult to get all of their personality traits and emotional quips just right, but you did. I... read
  • A review of Bobby
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    The characters in this story really shined. No misspelled words or grammatical errors. The story flowed nicely. I always enjoy a great ghost story especially one that has a hint of comedy in it. Like I said the characters were magnificent. The description of the young thugs along with their checkered personalities made for a fine read. Thanks for sharing this one. One thing... read
  • A review of Egyptian Cotton
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/23/2014
    Hey Mike, I'm always happy to see something in my assignment list from you. Let me first congratulate you on the spectacular imagery in this piece. Your adjectives are always inviting and have a way of drawing the reader in. With that being said I read this story about four times and I'm still at a loss. I want to think the story is about a brutal murder, but from my calculations... read
  • A review of Reviewing Rachel
    by sergiev2 on 10/22/2014
    Hey Mike, Wonderful story. As with most who have reviewed it, I presume it has hit pretty close to home. However, I have never had the temptation to jack another writer's work off the site. This Nick deserved what he got! The one thing I believe will make the story stronger is to have something about Nick tie in with Rachel's beast. The guy is scared of criticism - his heart... read
  • by Michael Leath on 10/22/2014
    I would suggest you add a header or footer to all manuscripts with the copyright logo, your name and date. This is the internet, and while I’d love to believe people are basically honest, that is most likely wrong. Page 1 ***I was walking to the store to buy something for my mother until one day I was snatched from the street. This sentence has a flaw. The previous sentence... read
  • by telliott on 10/22/2014
    Tom wins a swimming race without getting wet. To me, that is the bottom line of this story. He also gets the woman he has been longing for but was too shy to ask out. This story is what is so great about British comedy. The underdog prevails but in a way not foreseen by many. At least not by this reader. My knowledge of British entertainment is from the 1980s and early 1990s... read
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