"The height of cleverness is to conceal one’s cleverness."

- Francois de La Rochefoucould

Reviews

  • A review of Curtains
    by micheleraedejean on 08/27/2014
    This is an unusual sci-fi story. Hell-C is a good name for a recreational drug that isn’t good for you. The descriptions are well done. Good old duct tape probably will still be around in the future, there is nothing quite like it, a favorite of car mechanics and criminals. “I’m terrifying when I smile” is a good line as I can visualize people I have seen that I felt that... read
  • A review of My Johnny
    by philip halmarack on 08/27/2014
    You have a really nice story here, let down by bad phrasing. I think you need to prune out some of the text and make your writing run much smoother, particularly in the opening. The whole piece lacked grammatical cohesion, and your tale might have found more of a punch if you'd simplified the telling. Johnny means condom in England - is it the same in America? Page 1 -... read
  • A review of Lost Love
    by philip halmarack on 08/27/2014
    You have a really nice story here, let down by bad phrasing. I think you need to prune out some of the text and make your writing run much smoother, particularly in the opening. The whole piece lacked grammatical cohesion, and your tale might have found more of a punch if you'd simplified the telling. Page 1 - 'After taking a shot of his whiskey' – you can lose 'his.' “Do... read
  • A review of Junk Food
    by philip halmarack on 08/26/2014
    Junk Food is a well structured story, showing good skills. Though the plot goes on a oft travelled route (perhaps closest to Delicatessen and Sweeney Todd), you handle it well and bring a muscular presence to your writing. Some of the terminology was lost on me (being English), though I'm prepared to believe its authenticity and my lack of any understanding of jive talk never... read
  • by Jaybird2019 on 08/26/2014
    Guess who's coming to dinner... This story was about a lady named Paula who is tasked with taking her elderly grandmother out to the grocery store. But not everything is as simple as one would believe. Grandma Ellie, having been raised in a different time has not yet come to grip with how the world has changed around her and makes racist remarks without knowing any better... read
  • by Jaybird2019 on 08/26/2014
    Don't judge a book by its cover. The story was quick and simple. A poor, begging drug-addict is helped by an unlikely good Samaritan; a monster. Rennagron, new to Australia, gives the beggar his tooth, which is worth its weight in sapphire. And then, it disappears with it's tail following behind. I would've liked more to this story. i enjoy these monster/fantasy tales, but... read
  • A review of Fait Accompli
    by sergiev2 on 08/26/2014
    I had to look this up in order to understand it. I can dig your theme. Structurally, you need something stronger than two people who are about to get hitched being exposed to infidelity and sin in vegas. It's very cut and dry. The fact that dude popped someone for being a tranny doesn't entirely make sense to me either. Does he just freak that he might have slept with a man?... read
  • A review of GUNS AND CURSES
    by linusonline on 08/26/2014
    I'm thinking that this is a chapter in a larger story and if so, then I'm curious to see more of this character. He's a little all over the place at times, but if he is supposed to be a deranged biker, then it fits. The whole time I was thinking that this was another person who ruined his bike which made me believe that this guy was a dangerous individual, which was a huge... read
  • A review of May I?
    by linusonline on 08/26/2014
    I really enjoyed reading this. I wouldn't necessarily call this a horror piece per say, but there's enough mystery and thrills and chills to get me engaged. I was expecting a twist at the end where all this time Robert was dead and she had no idea he was dead. Is that the ending? Because my only concern with this story was just that. It ends a bit too abruptly, leaving... read
  • A review of Voodoo Chile - D.2
    by micheleraedejean on 08/25/2014
    This is a story that I suspect will appeal to men more than women. It seems to be a man’s sex dream fantasy for woman. This story was pretty fantastical, was the woman really cheating on her husband or was it just a dream? I am assuming it was a dream since I believe that was the theme of the song the author said inspired him to write this. I think it would have been nice to... read
  • A review of SS Winston
    by DitaRenee on 08/25/2014
    I love short stories. I liked SS Winton too. It was character driven as most short stories are. But there were tech problems - don't state the obvious (you waste the readers time), some of the sentences were too wordy. You got involved in trying to describe the action and it was a bit confusing. Use simple sentences. But this was a sweet, good story, just needs a bit... read
  • A review of Blast Radius
    by micheleraedejean on 08/25/2014
    In the near future a man has built himself a machine to escape from an apocalyptic blast he knew was coming. The writing was clear and easy to follow but I felt like there was part of the story missing. Why did Nick wait until the last minute to leave his house? It seems like if he would have already left town instead of going to have a piece of cake he might have outrun the... read
  • A review of Semaphore
    by telliott on 08/24/2014
    SEMAPHORE is a depressing story about a lonely and secluded man who remains traumatized by childhood sexual abuse. But it’s a very well-written depressing story. It sucked me in and made me glad I read it. Despite the huge chunks of text thrown at me in this story, I think it works. I would really like, however, to see the writer use more paragraphs throughout. Break up... read
  • A review of Quentin Quits
    by linusonline on 08/24/2014
    I like the concept, I really do. The issue I'm having with this story is the balance between truth and fiction. Everyone sees Tarantino as an influence but he is such an anomaly. While I know that's not how he broke in exactly, I think you should look into what goes into breaking into the industry on general, cause that's really not what happens. Parody is great, but it's always... read
  • by williamf129 on 08/24/2014
    We have all witnessed this unfortunate scene in real life. The scene - the mini-world of the story - quickly paints the characters - if somewhat two-dimensional and stereotypical. But perhaps this ordinariness actually works in the context of the story. The same ordinariness - predictable, cliche behavior - sets up the necessary tension. Each character's actions and speech... read