Reviews

  • by theauthor on 10/11/2014
    This was an interesting tale of two lesbians who meet for the first time. One too shy to admit it, the other bold but doesn't really express herself either. Two grammar issues, nothing overly important. The problem is the dialogue is a bit too direct for a first meeting. It should be shorter sentences. Also, there is no action or continuation. The main girl doesn't do more... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/10/2014
    This was a great read. I'm used to all the drama, horror and psychological stories here on trigger street. We don't get enough straight forward humor. This is a screwed up story about an evil man whore that puts his cock wherever feels the best, and why not? If I was a shallow guy that had no scruples I would do the same. I think it comes down to this, we are all envious of... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/10/2014
    This story is very well written. The description at the beginning is inviting and we get to know the protagonist quickly. The characters are okay, I would like to know a little bit more about their back story and how they became the way they are. I did not expect the ending, it was an interesting twist. I read the last two pages at least three times until I got the gist. I... read
  • A review of The Black Hole
    by micheleraedejean on 10/10/2014
    The concept of this story reminded me of Carrie and that's not a bad thing. The story was easy to follow and read. The description of Leigh disappearing into the black hole was written in a way that came off kind of humorous but I don’t know if that’s what the author was going for. It’s kind of a wordy jump from Leigh getting sucked up and then the description of what happened... read
  • by theauthor on 10/10/2014
    A story about a bunch of hillbillies. You seemed to have a clear vision of your story and the storyline. I understand having the characters speak 'hillbilly' but the narration should be straight out with good grammar. If we know the character is Southern or Northern Mass, we can already picture how he talks without the twisted grammar. I would suggest cleaning up the dialogue... read
  • A review of Only When I Dream
    by matt r jones on 10/10/2014
    First off, I love the idea of the story. A guy who lives in his dreams and can take others for the ride, brilliant. I'll just go over the parts that felt a little off to me, there's not many. Not sure the child would say 'viewing' on P2, would probably say watched going on his other speech. Seems odd that he would say about having the same dreams as Mara straight away when... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 10/09/2014
    The writing is decently done in this story but it is going to have a niche audience. I was born in a time when almost every legal and illegal drug known to man has been tried in (and I have tried many of them) and still I had trouble relating to this story. A drugged up woman, who is selling acid, sees a man with vague features and freaks out and describes her drug infused... read
  • by matt r jones on 10/09/2014
    I reviewed another in the 'Meat Grinder' series a few days ago and commented on how the atmosphere and the writers voice didn't come through as well as it could. This tale, in my opinion, is so much better in those regards. The previous was kind of step by step story telling where as this was not. You let us imagine the reasons for what was happening and led us on a journey... read
  • A review of Ghost Sniper
    by micheleraedejean on 10/08/2014
    Halloween is almost upon us, this was decently told but given the real horror of this story I think it needs a little more punch. I was looking forward to reading a good tale from the rating this story got and it was written in a pleasant fashion. These are the errors I noticed: “sipping cognac and brushing there (their) coats. “ ”better than what the’re (they’re) getting now... read
  • by telliott on 10/06/2014
    Having read and reviewed Junk Food with the characters of Zed and Sheriff Judd I had a hunch where Katie was going to end up. Both stories were fast and enjoyable reads. I just think, with further tweaking, Breeze Blocks and Broken Glass can be great. First of all, great alliteration with the title. I did, however, have to look up “breeze blocks”. But would they be around,... read
  • A review of Thief In The Night
    by arthurharder on 10/06/2014
    An easy, straight forward read. The underlying theme was of unique importance to me, in an unexpected twist. I, too, have greatly struggled with eating disorders. Despite my own personal connection to the topic, I feel that a reader without a weird history around food wouldn't feel that emotional connection. Although they could sympathize with the pathos behind an eating disorder,... read
  • A review of Abigail
    by telliott on 10/06/2014
    I love the writer’s use of alliteration. For example: wet leaves and waning light; wind whispering off the whitecaps; down her nape and nibbled away. No doubt exists as to this writer’s abilities and skills. Variation of sentence structure and length let the story flow. However, mistakes in punctuation and capitalization and some unnatural dialogue took me out of the story... read
  • by CaryPohlhammer on 10/06/2014
    What I liked about this story was that it started out nice and romantic in the beginning but then evolved to being creepy as it progressed. The narrator was very eerie, and then took a quick turn after locking Emma/Katie in the house. Part of that situation, I did not see coming. The dialogue was written well despite a grammar error or two I saw. The imagery of the settings... read
  • A review of Second Wind
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 10/06/2014
    I don't run nearly enough. I've always hated it, I'm slow and clunky. I do, however, enjoy a good elliptical workout which is I guess sort of the same sense of calm that you can get from running. In that sense I understand as the sweat streams down your cheeks and all you can do is pant and think and wait for that second wind. It takes something away from you and lets you breath... read
  • A review of Junk Food
    by matt r jones on 10/06/2014
    I like the idea of the story and it gave a nice glimpse into the dark underworld of a small town. Obviously makes you think of Texas Chainsaw as the cop is involved and the hooks etc. Setting it at night and letting us know about the lawns being looked after and the diner scene at the end was cool. Just a few things I noted and these are just my thoughts and suggestions. The... read