Reviews

  • A review of Role Reversal (Rev.)
    by Windlasher on 06/26/2014
    Very detailed, almost too much so in that by the time I was a page or so in, I felt that this would not end with them actually having sex. I felt like, ok, this scene is perfect so it has to fail somehow. Thats ok though. It went from her mate would come home and catch them, to this guy is going to get nailed for leaving that condom. When he put on his ring, I already knew... read
  • by Cab Coola on 06/26/2014
    I'm starting to figure these characters out after reading two in this series. And it is very intriguing. But I felt that this story really didn't start to take off until about halfway through. There were a lot of characters and descriptions giving them life but there wasn't enough to the story. I liked the metaphor that was used, vultures and stool pigeons and how they resemble... read
  • A review of Paul-pulation Bomb
    by blueberryjim on 06/25/2014
    Hey Caleb,this is the third story of yours that I've reviewed now and I have to say I've enjoyed all three. This one, Paul-pulation Bomb, was pretty short so there really isn't too much to nitpick or suggest. I'll give you what I liked and then some suggestions on what you might do to enrich the story a little. First off I think you did a good job describing your three characters... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 06/25/2014
    I had a manic depressive boyfriend for twenty years and I could instantly relate to this scenario. One minute he loved me to death and the next he looked at me with a cold look of hate. Over nothing usually and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but it also wasn’t fixable. Stinky was said too many times, try a different word for some of the stinky’s. “Mary let her free hand scrap along”... read
  • A review of Mallard Quackenbush
    by micheleraedejean on 06/25/2014
    This is one of the best written and most ridiculous stories I have ever read. I read this entire, and very long for the subject, story thinking it couldn’t really be about such a ludicrous premise. A girl going on a date with a foot tall duck and a little boy that plays with a loaf of bread? Sorry but I can’t believe you wasted your time and effort writing a 30 page story like... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 06/25/2014
    I missed how there was a big truth revealed here but maybe I missed it. I am not a big fan of zombies so I am not the ideal audience for this story but since they have been written about for almost two hundred years I guess I should get used to them. This was kind of slow, it took a long time to get to the climax, I think it could use a little more action along the way. I liked... read
  • by Cab Coola on 06/25/2014
    I like the idea of this story. But for the most part, it felt rushed. A young girl forced in labor by her mother, working mine-shafts? The writer never really specified what work or why they were in desperate need to work. And what era are they in? I felt like it was the early 20th century when school wasn't as imperative as work. But again, I see where you're going but it... read
  • A review of Thy Will Be Done
    by Cab Coola on 06/25/2014
    The writer starts right off by taking me by the hand and walking me through, at first, what seems to be a murder of a popular figure. And the who, what, when, where, and how it happened. But as the story progresses it is shown there was a murder but of a celebrated fictitious character named Sherlock Homes. The story was well-written and the little poems at the beginning of... read
  • A review of Peace of War
    by blueberryjim on 06/24/2014
    First off I really enjoyed your story. It was pretty well done and had a great twist at the end. Actually there really wasn’t a lot that I’d change so I’ll just give you a few suggestions that could perhaps improve the narrative but by no means are necessary. You did a really good job of painting some very different characters. Everyone seemed to have a distinct personality... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by sergiev2 on 06/24/2014
    Hey John, Nicely written piece you have here. A star baseball player gets money to throw the game, and ends up siding with his consciousness instead. You're a man who clearly knows his baseball - a sport that is more or less foreign to me - and I liked the ride. Three small suggestions: 1. Be a little more encompassing in the way you describe how he got into this mess... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by taijinkyofusho on 06/24/2014
    The Fix swings for the fences but ultimately settles for a double. There's a lot of things to like here, but in the end they're outweighed by missed opportunities. As someone who doesn't care for sports, it gets tedious going through the nitty gritty balls and strikes nuances of the game. Not sure if there's a way around that in a sports-centered story though. Dagger is... read
  • by Cab Coola on 06/24/2014
    A chilling story. This story follows a high school student who is depressed with life and the way things are going. he tries to fit in by talking to the popular beautiful girl but is only treated like an outcast. While reading this, I could feel the tension building up to an inevitable explosion as the kid rambles on about being sick and tired of being sick and tired. The... read
  • A review of Thief In The Night
    by filmfamman on 06/24/2014
    This was an interesting short story that initially I thought was going to be a comedy, showing how a burglar would break into a house and conspicuously eat some food or drink some wine and leave the tell tale evidence for the family to discover the next day. It seemed like the burglars intent was to stir things up just a bit in a family's inter relationships to the point that... read
  • A review of The Song (2)
    by Cab Coola on 06/24/2014
    I enjoyed this story. It was a moving tale about life, death, and resurrection... of the world. Correct me if I'm wrong but the whole story was about her in a trance due to a song. A song sung that showed her the past of her people and the world they destroyed with fishing and drilling oil. Until finally, the song ends and she awakens back to her peaceful world that was in... read
  • A review of One Punch
    by micheleraedejean on 06/24/2014
    I am pretty sure I’ve seen this movie before. It’s not a bad story but it is pretty similar to others I’ve read about a similar subject. Boxers dying in the ring happens in a lot of tear jerker boxing stories as well as “I could have been a contender” stories. The story was cleanly told but the ending was confusing, what exactly happened? Maybe it’s just me. With the writing... read