"You don’t write because you want to say something; you write because you’ve got something to say."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Reviews

  • A review of The Great Song
    by theauthor on 09/28/2014
    This comes off a bit dry as a story as it is just a creation of another world and its description. There should be some action, some interaction of dialogue. Perhaps, focus on one being and his role on Nnn. I think you could come up with a better name, Enn or Nin, for example. The grammar was thrown off balance by italics and all caps. It should be Great Song. This is an original... read
  • A review of Real Men Can Cry
    by micheleraedejean on 09/28/2014
    The emotional content of this story was very good. It had just the right amount, not too sappy and not wooden. It was a nice effort at capturing the emotions involved in a family after a tragic event. The formatting is off, as well as grammar and spelling but since this is several years old I'm sure other reviewers have probably pointed out the errors, there are quite a few... read
  • A review of The Burning
    by telliott on 09/28/2014
    What strikes me most in this extremely well-written story is that the reader doesn’t get to know the main character. For example, I wanted to know what book he was reading. What book had Marcus stuffed into a sock and brought to the common room? What was the title of that which was his treasure? Also, what did he look like? I wanted a visual of him to go along with what... read
  • by Karl Gorman on 09/28/2014
    I suggest you rewrite this in a version where the word 'scared' and 'terrified' never - ever - appear on the pages. (Or fear.) Whatever the feel of the story is, the word must not be stated. If you wan the reader to feel awe, never say awe. If you want the reader to feel anger, never say anger (or fury). Use words to describe his fear, which you have done to some extent. But... read
  • A review of Hands Of Love
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/28/2014
    This story was not hard to read, it flowed very easily. The emotions and personalities of the characters were drawn well but their outer appearance could have been clearer. I am married, I've been with my wife for many years, around eleven, neither of us can remember. We have had our problems, serious fights and break ups, talks of divorce, but neither of us have ever been... read
  • A review of Research and Prayer
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/28/2014
    I don't know why this was posted on Trigger street. I suppose you had your reasons, maybe to get a rise out of the leftists on here, or step up to a platform for Christianity. I appreciate the comparisons and I imagine that I would not have read this if it were not on the site. I however, do not think that this is the right place to post a research paper. We, as a site, have... read
  • A review of Antz Work
    by johnregan on 09/27/2014
    Antz reviewed by John Regan It appears to be more in screenplay style than short story but the writing is top notch and I am studying screenwriting myself so here goes my review. Story-level feedback The technical descriptive writing of the actions of the antz is skillfully executed. I can see the action in your short bursts with no wasted words or excess. I know how tricky... read
  • A review of Unconditional
    by tishanddavid on 09/27/2014
    Hi, there's another writer on here, also a woman, an she wrote something very similar to this where she too - tried to trick the reader into thinking the story was about something else. You've done a much better job then she did. Although, honestly no one on here really expects much from her anyway. If she hasn't already read this she will just be tickled pink. This was cutesy... read
  • A review of Normal People
    by tishanddavid on 09/27/2014
    I think this is the first of yours Ive came across. I think your writing is fine. You pull us in from the get go, an you plod along at a rambling pace, but within a few pages you really became a dozer. Theres a LOT of punctuation/capitalization an other syntax/format issues you need to look at when revising this. Again, you're a decent writer an you tell us a plain an straight... read
  • by tishanddavid on 09/27/2014
    OKAY THEN! Where to begin... I think the beginning intro forewarning the reader that you've basically decided to just post all your one liners and pre-notes - could/should have gone into your into notes. Im going to have to give this below average on structure as we both know this was a giant joke. But - hey the beauty is I'm the first to actually read it so no one will... read
  • YO! Credited Review
    A review of American Generation
    by tishanddavid on 09/27/2014
    Hi Linus as you know its a "no,no" to post specs in the short story area. Theres a lot of reasons why it never , ever works. What you have done here is toss a spec up an want us to pretend that its an actual story. What we are missing in the screenplay world that you cant give us in say novels or any kind of literature is of course inner dialogue an emotions. David an I, have... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/27/2014
    This was a decent explanation of theology from an eleven year old boy. You stayed true to the concept that he was thinking about it and he wrote the composition. You did a great job not straying from the thought process of an eleven year old boy. It was a rant that we've heard before. The true question on everyone's mind. I have never died so I'm not sure the answer, but none... read
  • A review of Thief In The Night
    by johnturnbull on 09/26/2014
    I tend to read through and comment as I go. If there's not a lot of notes that means I'm in the story and you're kicking ass. Having written that... Like the title. Don't like the italics to start the story. Back story doesn't need FX. Use a hard break and continue. We'll get it... Anyhoo... First sentence too long. I get the one breath thing, but cut out some non-essential... read
  • A review of Hollow
    by johnregan on 09/26/2014
    Hollow review by John Regan Story-level feedback I like the imagery and repetition of crimson/red/blood. I like the long sentences with commas and pauses. Some reviewers may say they are run-on sentences or suggest you make them shorter and choppier but I like your writing style. Who vs. that Remember to use who for people and that for things. Examples below: It was a... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 09/26/2014
    I have been told not to write stories like this and I don’t understand why. I don’t think dialogue is necessary to a good story, if you have a great story. The story is the necessary ingredient, and this started out like it could be a good one. The biggest problem I have is what was the creature at the top of the stairs? You gave me no clues. I liked this “stream of consciousness”... read