Reviews

  • A review of Cliche
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 09/30/2014
    (Spoilers) This story started out with a husband waking in the early morn with one thing on his mind... sex. But, his wife wasn't feeling the same happy-go-lucky feeling. She finds toothpaste spread all over the bathroom walls because the husband left the top off and the son went a little crazy with it. He arrives at work, and things aren't much better. He's threatened to... read
  • A review of The Patriot
    by Rich Berry on 09/30/2014
    This was an easy read. Your writing style moves the story along very well. It's good to see a writer delving into this lesser known slice of history concerning the Irish in the Americas. From what I've read elsewhere your account of their treatment in our military is on the money. The use of the name Mary Celeste for the ship was distracting and confusing. I don't know why... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/30/2014
    I like this story. It moved very fast and left the reader wanting more. I wonder if this is part of a series, if it isn't it most certainly should be, or part of a larger story at least. The main character is not quite shallow and not quite greedy but I could see that he has those two traits inside of him somewhere. The story about the glass isn't all that interesting, it... read
  • A review of Voodoo Chile - D.2
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 09/30/2014
    This is a good story. It is surreal, out of this world weird, but a good story. I don't understand the reason behind the affair. I don't get the strange man behind the wheel with a conception that he's the voodoo chile. You wrote great descriptions and carried this short to where it needed to be, and as most will feel that this story is incomplete and has massive holes, I am... read
  • A review of Only When I Dream
    by telliott on 09/29/2014
    Always displaying a keen imagination, this writer’s work keeps improving. Tenacity and determination could be middle names. A young boy travels places in his dreams. He begins to do this with a best friend, then with his wife. An accident renders him comatose (I think). So he only sees his beloved Mara in dreams. I provide reviews in the hopes of helping to improve a story... read
  • A review of Skids
    by Visionscribe on 09/29/2014
    Skids Hi Taylor – You’ve got sooooo much going for you in the way of creativity and imagination. You’ve got great concepts in every story I’ve read of yours, and I can tell that you’ve got entire worlds in your head as you conceive of your ideas. That is fantastic. As you continue to learn more of the nuts & bolts of writing, hang onto your imagination at all costs.... read
  • by Visionscribe on 09/29/2014
    Apartment Infinity This story is part one of more. It’s basically about an apartment in the city, where a dimension transcending device allows infinite clones to traverse their own (infinite) dimensions and exist simultaneously in the dimension of the story. The reason for this device is, apparently, to generate infinite rent dollars to the landlord. If the landlord charges... read
  • by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 09/29/2014
    The story was about a boy, who would take a trip with his family, every-so-often. to his grandparents house. On the way, his dad would take a break at a rest area. There, they would sit at a picnic table under a maple tree. His father told the child of tales about the tree and how long it had been standing, shading people from the hot sun. But, one day they made their stop... read
  • by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 09/29/2014
    This story began with a man and his wife/co-worker receiving a card from Florence. It's from a man named Albert, who states that he is getting married. The story then, backtracks, leading the reader up to the point. Albert, a confident man, begins work and comes up with a picture of a woman for an advertisement. Everyone is overjoyed even the boss. But, as the days pass, Albert... read
  • A review of The Summer of 1944
    by micheleraedejean on 09/29/2014
    The quality of the writing is good but the story has a lot of holes in it. This story stretches the limits of being believable in many places and I have a lot of unanswered questions. Why could the gal in France write to Jimmy’s sister for months and then when she tells her she knows the writer is not her brother does she say not to write her anymore because it is dangerous,... read
  • A review of When I Woke
    by Karl Gorman on 09/29/2014
    I am guessing that a California king is the name of the bed. I figured that but only just. Basically, this is good . . . the three-dimensional characters, the smooth point-of-view narrative, and the simple descriptions. (I personally prefer atmosphere in a short story but I am aware that it is not always necessary. Here the atmosphere is minimal and that’s fine.) I thought... read
  • by theauthor on 09/29/2014
    I get what you are trying to do and I have a feeling most readers won't like this because it is a tiny series of ideas and none are developed into a short story. We all have unfilled ideas and stories started but not finished. It's a good exercise, but why make us read them? Do you just want feedback as to which ones you can develop into a short story. An anthem of short stories... read
  • A review of Track Changes
    by theauthor on 09/29/2014
    I liked the part about Facebook. I hate Facebook and will never be on it. they download spyware into your computer and track your movements. That being said, perhaps cell phone tracking would be better than red light cameras. I live near an intersection and hear the police and ambulance arriving daily. Same reason, someone tried to run the red light. In a hurry to die. Anyway,... read
  • A review of Junk Food
    by telliott on 09/28/2014
    The title of the story really resounds with its theme. Junk Food – barbecue made from a junkie. Kudos. Some passages of dialogue were great. For example, on page 2: “Hankerin’ for a bear claw, son?” However, IMHO this story could use sentence structure variation. It also asks the reader to suspend belief in a lot of areas and uses a lot of superfluous words. Proper... read
  • A review of When I Woke
    by tishanddavid on 09/28/2014
    Well, this was a quick read. I'm thinking that this is either a chapter from a larger piece or flash fiction. I generally cant stand a story that goes no where an it feels like we the readers are the writers guinea pigs. Like, hmm...I have this page or two...Ill just post it an hope that everyone loves it . This was very well written either way. The bodies turning to ash made... read