"I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one."

- Mark Twain

Reviews

  • A review of Respect 101
    by EugyBizzaro on 08/08/2014
    Who is the real thug? Respect 101 is the story of a maniac. He seems like he is sane but not really. He has gone over the edge to THAT ZONE. This was a really different story. The cast and crew were solid. I would hate for this character to be living in my neighborhood. Very dark and creepy. Good acting. TY E.B.
  • A review of Web of Deception
    by Melinda May on 08/08/2014
    “Web of Deception” is a fun story to read, fast paced with vivid action writing. I like the proposed title “Cannondale Project,” it seems apt (but it doesn't tell an unknowing audience about its genre/theme, in the way another title might). In terms of structure, the turning points of action line (spine) are much different from the relationship (inner/emotional) plot, but... read
  • A review of Web of Deception
    by WillMalin on 08/08/2014
    Not a bad premise, but there are too many characters and the plot is a little confusing. On page 3 it should read “It’s unfortunate when criminals escape justice,” not escaped justice.” On page 4, “oh, nothing for me, but thatnks for the offer.” Is good but maybe a tad long winded, think about cutting down long pieces of what should be short, snappy dialogue. At the bottom... read
  • A review of UNSPEAKABLE
    by micheleraedejean on 08/08/2014
    After reading the story I reread the synopsis and I still found this to be a confusing piece. Why is Gabi dressing defiantly and sexy and what did she know? This is seemingly about a real person but there is nothing to say how the author came by this story, whether he just took some random facts and made them into a story, did he actually know the person he is writing the story... read
  • A review of HyperGraphia
    by mcmason on 08/08/2014
    Hello, and thanks a lot for the opportunity to read and review your work. First, let me say that the concept is really great. It seemed so fresh to me that I actually did a Google search to see if there were any other scripts out there that explored the fascinating topic of hypergraphia. Unfortunately, it looks like there is a movie with the same title slated to be released... read
  • by telliott on 08/08/2014
    I’m not sure what the writer’s end purpose is in writing this story. If it is to document the life of his grandfather then good job. However, if the writer wants to hone and further develop his skill then I would recommend reading some short stories. There are some great ones on this site. For example (just to name a few): THE LONG DARK; THE ARRIVAL; CURTAINS; NIGHT OWLS... read
  • A review of The Mental Facility
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 08/08/2014
    I think that this story has a lot of promise. I would like to see it as a more polished product. What happened with Curt to make him so angry, why did he never lash out, did he lash out too much? Where did Parker commit the crime, what did Jocelyn look like when she was beaten? Did she survive? What happened to her? So many loose ends and questions I needed to see closed. I... read
  • by williamf129 on 08/09/2014
    A powerful and moving story, its emotional impact sadly lessened by a lack of focus and clarity, and imprecise writing. Most apparent, a demonstrable lack of understanding of syntax and paragraph structure. Changing tenses within paragraphs, and in some instances within sentences. Non-evocative metaphors and images. This is not academic nit picking. These are fundamental elements... read
  • A review of Peace of War
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 08/09/2014
    Another great story. I didn't know what to think at first. The end made this one great and not like the million other war stories I've read and watched in the past. Bobby seemed a little weak to me, with the cheating wife but the world has people like that. Johnny was the great asshole in all the war flicks like Full Metal Jacket and Platoon. I didn't see any misspelled words... read
  • by stevles on 08/09/2014
    Written as half novel and half screenplay, Rise of the Crimson Sun isn't half bad. However, the bad, (the last 3rd of the story) drags a very good and well-written script into the ground. The super-humanized Matthew, the introduction of all new characters, trying to make sense of the madness through sophomoric philosophical discourse, Ana's needless death, the ambiguous (to... read
  • A review of Thief In The Night
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 08/09/2014
    The concept of this story is original and entertaining. It was very comical at first until the explanation of the behavior. I blame stuff on my kids all the time as a joke but never maliciously. It takes a very sad human being, especially a man, to blame something so asinine on a kid and pretend it's okay. James was mentally screwed. Breaking and entering is a pretty serious... read
  • A review of Antwerp, Belgium
    by philip halmarack on 08/09/2014
    Your script is gossamer light and a treat to read. Characterisation is good and the dialogue is natural though sometimes irrelevant. Antwerp is a little used setting for cinema and has the right kind of ambience for this kind of story. Despite several slight inconsistencies, I enjoyed your screenplay. You write very well. Let's deal with the inconsistencies first. It would... read
  • A review of Brave Pony
    by micheleraedejean on 08/09/2014
    When I was a child I loved fantasy but why write a fantasy that a child can’t read? I remember my friend Gordon Lightfoot wrote a song called “The Pony Man” but it was a fantasy song for children and adults. Why have the ponies tend pepper plants, or more specifically chili pepper plants? I have to wonder what you were smoking when you wrote this, and mind you I have nothing... read
  • A review of The Infinite Flu
    by VonNiederauer on 08/09/2014
    I absolutely loved this piece! I have a feeling I won't be alone. This should be used as a training video to teach others how to film, edit, sound quality, etc. etc. It was great right from the short but humorous log line to the twist ending. The acting was amazing even the voice of the boss. The dialogue effortlessly funny. I will be looking for more from Bunker! Bravo!
  • A review of Junk Food
    by micheleraedejean on 08/09/2014
    Obviously people eating people is not an original idea or this the first time a guy gets killed and made into food, I.E. Fried Green Tomatoes, which is what this story immediately made me think of. The story telling was decently done with no obvious errors that I found. I feel like your talent was wasted in telling a story that has been more or less told before. My only suggestion... read