"To escape criticism – do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

- Elbert Hubbard

Reviews

  • by EugyBizzaro on 08/07/2014
    Haunting and dark, this short film was great. Sad and moody, the camera work was solid. I didn't know where this film was going and it was a thriller. I think I am going to sleep with the lights on tonight. Good acting. I would like to see more of Christopher. He has a dark style. Very Alfred Hitchcock!!!!! TY E.B.
  • by TheLastGlance on 08/07/2014
    Well, here we are again, Johnny! I think I’m gonna treat this review as I did with your last script “Monsters Inside”. I’m just gonna do a page notes type of thing here with my summations at the bottom. I look forward to reading this, it looks like it’s going to be a really fun script. Off we go! Pg. 1 – I like your black and white style choice. The reference to Sin City helps... read
  • A review of Way Back in the Woods
    by xzilez on 08/07/2014
    I review as I write. I look for four things. Story, characterization, clarity, and formatting. You need to drop the first page. I think this is an overlook, but the title page is the first thing we need to see, not the template. You need to put night or day for the classroom. I would recommend not putting black or white. Say confused girl or something else. No need to give... read
  • A review of PAPER CRANES
    by Russ2007 on 08/07/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
  • A review of Totally To The Max
    by srhite on 08/07/2014
    If the story is about Max losing her friend, Alison, to Heather, then it has to be the story. They don't even all go to the same school, so there are no scenes with all the girls in the school. Just have the girls all go to the same school. Having Max's friend Alison attend a different school is a mistake. Alison should be lured away from the evil antaonist, Heather, Hellen,... read
  • by Melinda May on 08/07/2014
    Hi, This is the second version of “Kindergarten Detective” that I have had the pleasure of reading; I like the new draft, and good work: it's well written, with great (and funny) dialogue and well drawn characters and relationships. My page notes are below: (p. 2) “kids bottle” apostrophe needed (p. 2) I like the bubble cigar detail; very funny (p. 4) a space should follow... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 08/07/2014
    I enjoyed this period piece. I have never met a tugboat captain before so I was rather unfamiliar with their ways of life. The story moved forward pretty quickly. I did not see too many misspelled words, grammatical errors or sentence fragments. Something I didn't quite understand is that the wife did not play a very big role in the narrators story, or even his life from what... read
  • by VonNiederauer on 08/07/2014
    I really enjoyed this piece. The concept is a survival struggle.Three friends are mountain climbing in Peru when an accident separates them. From the log line I thought it was going to be a lot of soul searching dialogue like 127 hrs or something more sinister like Deliverance but what I got was not what I expected. The characters were good although we really don't get to know... read
  • A review of Occasio
    by mcmason on 08/07/2014
    Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your screenplay. First, I can tell that you put a lot of work into this script, so bravo to you! It is well written, and it was clear to me from the very beginning that you are no neophyte. I think you took the concept of parallel lives and made it unique, which is challenging in and of itself. Funny that before I read... read
  • A review of Peace of War
    by shastina456 on 08/07/2014
    I wished you would have wrote more about Big Dog Davlin and Ollie Odin. I wanted to know more about them. For examples: Kemp saying, " We have to kill Ollie Odin for putting ecoli in the people's drinking water; and, Johnny saying, " Big Dog Davlin was the king of the jungles. He would always lead victorious battles, even in the darkest, densist jungles. " Please, check your... read
  • A review of Thinkin' Big
    by EugyBizzaro on 08/07/2014
    Elmer, Elmer, Elmerrrrrrrrrrrrr, of all the "Dare to Be Great," stuff out there yours is right there in the mix. I watched the clip several times and I don't seem to be changed. I only feel older. Does this clip come with a money back guarantee????? How do you think this stuff up??? Is it the bed you are sleeping on, is it too hard? Did you eat too much paste in grammer school?... read
  • A review of PAPER CRANES
    by Untitled8 on 08/07/2014
    Action lines convey action. Some of your action lines tend to skew more toward ‘prose’ than conveying action, and can be considered ‘directing on the page’, which-- depending on the reader-- can sometimes be distracting. Keep your action lines brief, succinct, taking out unnecessary words, while also taking lines such as “The married couple... have “marital problems” written... read
  • A review of Junk Food
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 08/07/2014
    Although, the concept of humans being used as delicious meat in a diner has been rehashed it still didn't take away from this stories originality. In fact, the writer did a great job bringing us along with no real intuition as to what Judd was going to do with Leroy. This was a very quick read, meaning enjoyable. And the writers prose was very easy to follow. In a way, the... read
  • A review of Peace of War
    by VonNiederauer on 08/08/2014
    Writing war pieces are difficult on so many levels. This short story gives us a glimpse into the hellish life of a soldier, and true to the genre it offers that twist ending. Cliches are often hard to avoid when depicting soldiers because the very nature of being a soldier means you must put aside your individuality and become a selfless fighter. however you were able to... read
  • A review of JUNK
    by nesw on 08/08/2014
    The premise of a crew collecting space junk is interesting, but I’d like to see the different plot threads integrated more tightly into one overall storyline. The first thirty pages is a slow set up. I could be ok with that since it felt like it was leading to some big discovery on the wrecked ship, but instead, nothing of any big significance happens at the end of act one... read