"There is no great genius without some touch of madness."

- Seneca


  • A review of 'Tis The Season
    by stanlukas on 07/04/2014
    I will be brutally honest. It was well written and only one little typo INT AIRPORT NEWSTAND The pay tey guy must have meant he pays the guy. But that is nothing. It is all the minor details you write. I see where your going with the story and that is part of the problem I could see where your going from and you went there like I thought you would no twist no turn no surprizes... read
  • A review of 'Tis The Season
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/04/2014
    This script definitely needs some work. I enjoyed a few things about it but in being honest, you need to severely rework this if you want it to have life beyond posting here. My main issues right out of the gate are: 1.) I think if you did a poll on the worst place to be stranded, an airport would be very high on that list. With that being said, you stuck your characters... read
  • by xzilez on 07/04/2014
    When I first read the synopsis I thought this would be an entertaining B movie. It was. I loved the dialog and your exposition. Even though the death scene of the woodland creatures were great, I feel that you may have over done it. Specs are only a blue print for film. Unless you’re directing, I wouldn’t describe their death scenes too much. Live some room for the director... read
  • A review of Why, MN
    by max zugu on 07/04/2014
    Overall, I thought it was ok. I think it would work better as a short story. I guess it could be a small independent film, but it might not even be big enough for that. You put a lot of work into it, and it's well-made, but it just doesn't feel big enough to be a film. The idea of Pamela wanting to die, at the time when there is a serial killer on the loose is a unique premise... read
  • A review of Tales of Cilla II
    by Cab Coola on 07/04/2014
    I usually hate being assigned a 'Part 2' when I haven't read the first one. But this one felt like a story on it's own which was good. It was written from a girl's journal about her life in the free love era of the 70's. The trials and tribulations, the successful partners and the failures. But this girl was still a virgin with a wild curiosity. i don't know if this was a based... read
  • A review of Korban
    by sergiev2 on 07/04/2014
    Hey Cab, I was taken with your narrative. It had overtones of The Road and Canticle For Leibowitz. A story of a second coming. Alien creatures that give man his salvation through sacrifice. Did these otherworldly creatures read the bible? I would have liked to have a little bit more of a backstory of these other tribes. Apparently there was some promise of them inheriting... read
  • A review of Diamond. Mine.
    by Ponty Pridd on 07/04/2014
    Right off the bat I notice the poor formatting. The top and lower margins are being cheated so there is literally no margins at all. This 94 page screenplay is in fact, I'm guessing, 110 pages or more. Fix this in future drafts. The story is simple enough. We follow three young recent college grads, Jay, Lee and Bailey as they head to Canada to illegally survey the land for... read
  • A review of Necessary Evil
    by EliDonaldson on 07/04/2014
    Concept: A successful lawyer is forced to complete four cruel tasks for a voice on the phone that has claimed to have abducted his wife and his son. Characters: Paul Breaker is a well-defined character. Darnell Patton is a well-defined character. Logan Matthews is not so well-defined, but then again he can't be or you wouldn't have your story. Dialogue: I thought you... read
  • A review of Suicide Lemonade
    by dplage1116 on 07/04/2014
    TRIGGER STREET LABS REVIEW TEMPLATE It is clear from reading this that you are an excellent writer. I appreciated SUICIDE LEMONADE’s use of Lynchian imagery and the use of a drug as a surreal plot device, something Philip K. Dick, my favorite author, used in his masterful science fiction novels THE THREE STIGMATA OF PALMER ELDRITCH and UBIK. However, the imagery does not make... read
  • by dkimg21 on 07/04/2014
    This isn't awful, but it needs a LOT of work. While supernatural horror movies are common in today's industry, the style is stale. In the Devil's Lullaby, the reader/viewer is introduced to Donald, a police officer, who has has a nightmare about a serial killer, Malone McBride. Throughout the story, McBride possesses a group of teenagers, one being Donald's daughter, Jade... read
  • A review of Somewhere
    by tonymcfadden on 07/04/2014
    Based loosely on Romeo and Juliet, but set in the often fractious world of league soccer, this isn't a bad effort. Since it states at the opening that this is based on Romeo and Juliet, there's no need to guess how it ends. The journey is the thing, not the destination. I found that I didn't start identifying with the characters until into Act 2. Perhaps there are too many... read
  • by mdoliner on 07/04/2014
    This is a genre that I myself have no interest in. So I'm just going for general principles here. For all I know this is just right for this type of movie, so please don't take anything I say too seriously. I had a hard time figuring out what McBride could and couldn't do. He seemed to possess just about everybody at one time or another. That Donald might stab himself and... read
  • A review of The Goaltender
    by Untitled8 on 07/05/2014
    As a heads up, I review as I go along. That way I can also work as an editor and help with any spelling errors I notice. First off, I hope I can be of help because I noticed that you have already updated this screenplay with another draft. Hopefully for my benefit and yours, that any suggestions I make can be used to better the latest draft. pg. 4 ...just for the fact that... read
  • A review of 'Tis The Season
    by tonymcfadden on 07/05/2014
    What stops this from being perfect for me is the unrealistic portrayal of Nate at the beginning of the screenplay. The initial writing (for his character) is a bit clunking, to my ear, but by Act 2 it smoothes out. Structurally the movie hits all the marks. Once Nate settles down, the dialog is spot on, and the Nate's character Arc comes to a very satisfactory conclusion... read
  • A review of Farrah
    by swantonjohn on 07/05/2014
    Plot: A loser ski lift attendant takes an instant dislike to his best friend’s snobbish fiancée, and attempts to break them up before they can get married. It’s a very simple but strong idea for a comedy and the ski mountain setting felt like a bit of a throwback to eighties comedies like Better off Dead which I thought was cool. I felt scenes that focussed on the central... read