• A review of Drinkers VS Computers
    by theauthor on 01/08/2014
    This was light-hearted and mostly fun to read. The characters were a little bit soft and hazy. It always boils down to character. Make Tracy sexy or at least dressed in a certain way. You have a bit of a corner as you say they drink all of the time but then they don't really have the money, do they? Also, there should be some drinking on class breaks or even in the classroom,... read
  • A review of Savage Blood
    by dmw256 on 01/08/2014
    This story reminds me of Apocalypto. I'm not saying it's the same. I'm just saying I was thinking of that as I was reading. A native basically on the run from a rival tribe for most of the movie. I wasn't a fan of Apocalypto - which is good, because your script has nothing to live up to. However, what Apocalypto tried to do, but your script doesn't, is that it spent time... read
  • A review of Mojave
    by sergiev2 on 01/08/2014
    Michelle, You're writing is definitely improving. From story to structure to grammar, you are making leaps and bounds with your writing! I only have a few suggestions Form: The written words is told in the past tense - not present. If you want to write present tense, do screenplays. Story: This story is about a girl with a fear of snakes. It seems it's her story more... read
  • A review of The Angeleno (r)
    by crismyb on 01/08/2014
    Crime is not a genre I am really into, but still The Angeleno was a nice read. Itís a nice story, well written and it has gotten some very good twists though it begins a bit slow. The dialogues are quite funny. Here are just a few remarks over the story. When Brogan is leaving Capellaís apartment, why he doesnít react? He sounds so helpless at that moment, but throughout the... read
  • A review of Tainted Spirit
    by Brodie Cotnam on 01/08/2014
    First off let me say I think you had a decent if not overly original concept but it was executed in a fairly solid manner. Liked Kitty's character more than the others who to be honest I found a bit flat. On pg. 24 you said the last babysitter we had, she did, did you mean didn't stay away from Rini's room? As she didn't. There seems to be a lack of actually trying to see... read
  • A review of 70's SPORTS RADIO
    by rdlamelin on 01/08/2014
    Being as this is the second script that I've done a review for it make be a little shaky. I'm going to preface this by saying I don't know much of the 70s other then what I've been told in passing and some of the shows from the time. I find the character of Stormy Grey enjoyable to read, and well written. It's nice to see a female lead. Irv was a decent comic relief; however,... read
  • A review of The Angeleno (r)
    by EJWalton on 01/08/2014
    The Angeleno is a fresh-take on film noire. The characters are well-developed and original. The dialogue is crisp and in line with the theme of the story/age of the characters. I would like to have seen Brogan and Capella's romance blossom into a LOVE, which would up the stakes tremendously for this story. The audience sees the mutual attraction here so a mild attempt at rejecting... read
  • A review of After Birth Rev. 1
    by dunphoid on 01/08/2014
    Enjoyable story with some gorgeous moments. What puzzled me was why Beth and Gabby couldn't be aware that Dr. Pikeman was also in on the 'rescue'? After-all, they learned that Nurse Moorhouse would help them, so why not the doctor too? Him popping up from the car at the end I thought was a bit confusing. Also, in that really good tense scene in the laundry room, why does... read
  • A review of Aswang Abomination
    by Skeletoncrewltd on 01/08/2014
    Great new monster. I was hoping to get more on other stories and ancient history. The Aswang seems like an ancient curse or disease. You relay how it puts fear into people and I felt part of it but I wanted more eerie actions. It's a good story and it was satisfying to read but you need to leave us wanting more. This reminded me of The Jersey Devil legend. Try adding some more... read
  • A review of Aswang Abomination
    by ReneeSmith on 01/08/2014
    I was definitely spooked. For the most part, I was able to ignore the problems with it because the story drew me in. If someone were telling this tale over a campfire, it would be great. But there are many issues with the writing. On the first page you write, ďThe first aswang came to be with a frustrated wife who wanted to be a mother more than anything else, in the 1500s.Ē... read
  • by EliasKofoed on 01/08/2014
    First of all, let me congratulate Russell Corey for uploading the 5th draft of "We're all adults here". I haven't read the earlier versions so I'm getting a fresh look on this one. So, since this is Russell's fifth time on TriggerStreet with this project, I feel like I can skip writing about what I liked about the script and what I thought worked well. He's probably heard... read
  • A review of The Devil's Concubine
    by jamesdmichael on 01/08/2014
    I have to admit, I donít know how to review this script because I actually really really enjoyed it. The story was interesting. The mystery was intriguing. Even the characters (which usually let down an amateur screenplay) were for the most part well written and rounded. My main problem with this one was length. I see 134pages and I unintentionally tune out. Itís to this scripts... read
  • A review of The Beneficiary (V3)
    by joshmatt on 01/09/2014
    I use the ďjot down notes as I goĒ method: - The guy eating the spit oatmeal is really gross. Iím assuming Durazo is the protag of this, not sure how Iíd feel about a protag doing something like that. Iím probably making a bigger deal of this than it is, it just really grossed me out for some reason. - Angelís dialogue in the scene with the doctor is a little too ďmovie villainĒ... read
  • A review of The Tipping Game
    by dunphoid on 01/09/2014
    Nice ring of authenticity to this laid-back tale. Good sense of location. THe style of writing at the beginning was quite abrupt and poetic, albeit engaging. Dialogue was excellent. While I couldn't necessarily distinguish between the speakers the accent was well represented in that I could see and hear them talking as I read. Came to life. "You look rosier than usual. You... read
  • A review of Happy Ending
    by cheechee on 01/09/2014
    Congrats on getting Happy Ending completed. If itís Ok I'll be direct with my comments (most of which are around the format of your script as its story content is quite good already); please feel free to disregard them if they donít make sense or you feel they donít apply to your script. Iím also a developing writer who had written lots of specs in a bubble before I found... read