Reviews

  • A review of LOGAN!
    by gromano on 04/01/2014
    pg. 7--Little nitpick--You accidentally made what should be a line of dialogue an action line with no character lin pg. 11--Whoa! What's she up to? pg. 13--Mid pg. Another action line that should be a dialogue line pg. 20--move "ONE MONTH LATER" below first action lines in next scene and label it SUPER:... Last pg.: I don't understand...what's with the marriage proposal?... read
  • A review of Bad News
    by James Blackford on 04/01/2014
    4 stars. I think i'll try and start most reviews with what i graded them as because as far as I know, the star rating doesnt show upon the review. Anyway, pretty much i'd be surprised if any story that I read from you is anything less. You are a talented writer and are very deliberate about the words you choose, and are very careful that they convey exactly what you want to... read
  • A review of Quantum Effects
    by James Blackford on 04/01/2014
    . 4 stars. One of the first lines… “Last year in grade six, it was because of what I wrote about death and god.” maybe change to … The paper I wrote last year in sixth grade about death and god almost got me suspended.” just to be a bit more precise. Overall, like all of your other pieces the writing was good. The main things prevented this from 5 was 1- overall this seemed... read
  • by Melinda May on 04/02/2014
    “The Tale of Lefty and Fortuna” draws the reader right in with an endearing main character, Lefty, down and out and somehow all the more lovable for it. The premise revolves around a lucky lottery ticket that everyone wants, but can't find. The writer gives everyone a story in this yarn. The well developed characters spin this tale, making the story fresh and engaging.... read
  • by EliDonaldson on 04/02/2014
    Concept: Ruthless gangster ends up in witness protection. Unbeknownst to him, he is in the custody of a cop who's family he slaughtered years ago when the cop was a kid. --This is a really great concept! Characters: You do a good job of giving your characters distinct personalities, and differing points of view. Throughout most of the story, Tino is more vengeful than... read
  • by htinney on 04/02/2014
    This was a blast! It's fun, fast paced and well written, with just enough of a dark edge to make it stand out. The concept is great and the characters are distinct and engaging (or amusingly horrifying when appropriate). Lefty undergoes a clear character arc and the screenplay as a whole is generally well structured. Lots of white space makes for a fast and easy read. Overall,... read
  • A review of Southern Rites
    by chucksanders62 on 04/02/2014
    SOUTHERN RITES (a good title, by the way --)is a well-written romantic comedy. In a time-honored tradition that will never go out of style, the screenplay features a plucky heroine (1930s to 1950s) or resourceful hero (contemporary), Julia, a big city girl out of her element in the deep south – an accountant pressed into service as a detective. STORY – SOUTHERN RITES was well-paced,... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by ConnorSpencer on 04/02/2014
    The theme of this story is powerful. However, the hook is not very strong...after the first few lines I was not particularly inclined to keep reading...perhaps a bit more of a hint as to the seriousness of the later revelation to come towards the beginning? Also, the dialogue, while realistic, does not tell us much, if anything, about the characters. The revelations do not... read
  • A review of Meat Grinder
    by Leo1 on 04/02/2014
    I regret not being able to take notes in order to present specific examples. I do remember frequent inconsistencies in the use of (CONT'D) in dialogue. The first word of parentheticals were frequently capitalized. The writer used many words incorrectly with respect to their meaning. I tried to return to the script for examples but succeeded in clearing what I'd written. All... read
  • A review of Southern Rites
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 04/02/2014
    The opening scene is a beautiful display of what’s coming up in this script: a woman drifting on the road (and in her life) in the company of a female friend and a wacky guy. The problem is that we can already notice the missing potential here: there’s no conflict. I was expecting that her car was being chased or some funny, angry dialogue. I’m stressing that because this scene... read
  • A review of A Town Called Climax
    by kmoore1967 on 04/02/2014
    "A little less conversation, a lot more action" is the maxim to remember. I feel the writer stretched to find good character names, but granted that is difficult at times, even for professionals. The dialogue was tedious. The main character seemed too predictable, but the question of the timing in the scenes with Sarah at the beginning, perhaps should have said "seconds"... read
  • A review of The Empty Planet
    by Michael Keller on 04/03/2014
    The Empty Planet is a non-stop thrill ride, with vivid imagery and florid descriptions of diverse and colorful topography. With very little dialog, there is more room to delve into a visceral, visual, sensory experience. You not only render an immersive world, but even manage to take us on a tour of several distinct ecosystems. The plot and pacing are brisk and the conflict... read
  • by philip halmarack on 04/03/2014
    Lefty and Fortuna is a quick, easy and smooth read which holds the attention till the very last scene, with the reader unsure how things are going to turn out till that very last moment. It's executed with real style and feel for the genre. The characters, with perhaps the exception of Fortuna, having real grip despite the concept of the winning ticket seeming at times to... read
  • A review of The Phoenix Odyssey
    by htinney on 04/03/2014
    This script still needs a lot of work before it tells its story in an effective way, but it does have some strengths. Chief among these is that, when it's not overly expository or too long, much of the dialog is quite good. The author often does an excellent job capturing the flavor of the banter between the characters. The overall concept also has potential, with the physical... read
  • by Leo1 on 04/03/2014
    The tagline was the best part. I read this story twice and I'm still not sure what the interloper was. Concept: Had promise but predictable action diluted it. Characters: Solid but run of the mill. In my experience, during the first fight, the main character would've been ganged up on. The mysterious beast, so what happened? Story/Structure: This story seems more like a chapter... read