• by micheleraedejean on 04/07/2014
    What an odd concept. This story channeled “Deliverance” and “Raiders” and stole a line from “Men in Black” but this silly story fell short of being a spoof of anything. It was just a nonsensical story that went nowhere. I am not a big fan of these kinds of stories or movies but I guess I am in the minority looking at the rating. I read it twice just to make sure I didn’t miss... read
  • by stokerrising on 04/07/2014
    It's hard not to conclude that English is not the writer's first language, however the story does have a certain poetic verve. For the most part the language lacks smoothness. In some instances like,"I collided my elbow into the area right between his eyes." the syntax is fairly rough. In other cases word selection is inappriate as in: "there were a lot of rotten apples... read
  • A review of The Tunnels of Mexico
    by Don Maess aka Wmson on 04/07/2014
    The good news: you have an enjoyable story and screenplay here, and with a relatively few flaws. The bad news: those few flaws are pretty significant and will require extensive revisions. Once again and as usual, I have tried to organize my notes into sections and probably succeeded only in confusing the issues, but I hope you’re able to take from me what I’m trying to give... read
  • A review of Bad News
    by writer546 on 04/07/2014
    It's a pretty well written story. The characters are really distinct and actually very relatable. The situation was too. Everyone gets that infamous call in the middle of the night and your mind always goes to the worst case scenario. I liked the way that you played with this. Lisa actually seemed like a lot of people that I know. I'm a teacher who works with people with... read
  • A review of Bed In The Straw v2
    by telliott on 04/07/2014
    Bed in the Straw is a character-driven screenplay. It has no car chases, no exploding bombs, no zombies, no vampires, etc. As such, I really wanted it to work because it does an excellent job of painting the individual personalities of its characters. However, these personalities need to intertwine more to bring the story along. First off, why didn't any member of Kathryn's... read
  • by moviexpert14 on 04/07/2014
    This was masterfully done. I've seen this battle done at the beginning of some French Foreign legion action film in the 60s but nothing ever this vivid. I love the multiple plots of it as a lot of great war movies usually have. The two legionnares were excellent. The Viet Minh female protagonist was another favorite. Also, you told a lot of truth in this. Like when Fong made... read
  • A review of Remain Silent
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 04/08/2014
    The concept of this script is great: a cop whose wife committed a murder that he is investigating. It has the potential to actualize the classic tragic conflict between oikos and polis as we have seen in Sophocles’ Antigone. The problem with this script was in your choice of development. You decided to bring on a torrent of (sometimes inane) description smattered with dialogue... read
  • A review of Time Line
    by aaandronova on 04/08/2014
    First of all, I ‘d like to mention what I do not write about in my reviews: 1. Since I am not a native English speaker, I mostly do not write about dialogue and grammar errors. 2. Also I do not write about structure because I have no idea what it is. As I don’t know whether this much talked-about structure is good or bad, I always mark 5 stars and that’s it! 3. I do not write... read
  • by rexb99 on 04/08/2014
    I write reviews from the POV of a director rather than another writer. I have had considerable experience at this. It can seem a bit brutal at times but this is what you'd be up against so, here goes. A screenplay is a list of things needed to make the film. Therefore, it can only include things that can be seen on the screen by way of visuals, action, dialogue and performances... read
  • A review of Locked Away
    by NIKAS on 04/08/2014
    First page starts with fade in… take of the title. It looks like the writer has a full understanding of Script format and not only…. I like the unique way of describing things and characters. Short and to the point. One can tell this script must have undergone countless rewrites!!! Now, the story line: By pg 15 nothing has really happened. This kind of script should start... read
  • A review of Mojave
    by stokerrising on 04/08/2014
    What this story lacks is a strong (enough) sense of irony. While the main character does kill a snake and then is bitten by a snake, there is not enough dyanamism to make the connection between these events entertaining. Because the story hinges on this the feeling of irony should be made stronger, more compelling. The protagonist is thinly drawn. We don't get to know much... read
  • A review of Hearing The Meat
    by sergiev2 on 04/08/2014
    This was a fine story, Rex. It has a great number of ideas in it - from industrialization to the way people think about the food process. It seems in your world, human beings have been taken out of the part behind the scenes altogether. The one small suggestion I have is give us more meat on the character as far as his connection to the process goes. This guy is obviously... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by lavel on 04/08/2014
    Sometimes in order to get the attention of others, their opinions on a cause, there is no other way to the writer to shine light to something that maybe important to the conscience. And here, your story in a sense, is showing the world, a situation that is happening somewhere in this world--where the only place to set a story like this, wherein lies. You had put this story... read
  • A review of After The End - 1
    by telliott on 04/08/2014
    I don't know how to put this any other way. This screenplay is simply just not for me. It did not hold my interest, it was confusing, and it has a lot of punctuation, spelling, and grammar mistakes. Granted, we are suppose to provide reviews, not edit a submission. However, mistakes in spelling and the like are very distracting to a reader. For example, the word "goanna"... read
  • A review of Hope
    by sergiev2 on 04/08/2014
    James, This was a wonderful narrative. You're language is succinct and terse, you're sense of atmosphere is collected and well conceived. Thought your story states it's about a zombie apocalypse, it is more about a man who must live in the aftermath of it. The message was great: perseverance. It also makes the curious that we don't exist for ourselves only, but the betterment... read