• A review of The Mental Facility
    by Cab Coola on 07/28/2014
    This was a very good story with characters that were very diverse and entertaining. You did a great job at the beginning of reeling me in with the exchanges between Parker and Caleb. It set the mood and stayed intense throughout. It had the feel of 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' with the setting and varied colorful characters but darker. All I have for this story is praise... read
  • A review of Haiti's Hope
    by olufemi on 07/28/2014
    Lacking a strong foundation, once the earthquake hits, things fall apart. TITANIC is the second highest grossing film of all time. It spent a now-unheard of ten months in theaters, pleasing audiences of all ages and genders, who were more than happy to see it again and again. Why did TITANIC work so well? There’s no one element thing you can point to, of course, but it’s... read
  • by Schism83 on 07/28/2014
    Hey, Max. Here are my thoughts and comments on 'Happy Bday, My Dear'. This was a cool little film. The plot is simple but intriguing; there are some subtle camera movements that work nicely; and the pacing is good. Realism is something that I think is really important in film, and you manage that well, in terms of actions and reactions, impetuses, and general scope. I... read
  • by Shirley Day on 07/28/2014
    This is a well written script, a fantastic page turner. I only meant to scan through the first few pages,but ended up glued to the seat. The characters are well drawn; it's action packed; the reader never knows quite where they're going to end up. For me this really worked. I don't really have any core things that I think should be changed with it. I've made a few hasty... read
  • A review of Data Dump
    by Schism83 on 07/29/2014
    Hey, film. Just read 'Data Dump', and here are my thoughts and comments. I think this is a great first draft, but there's a lot of work that needs to be done. You've got all your elements - characters and impetuses and settings, and you've got your basic plot - how everything comes together and unfolds and ends. But I think the way the things are presented and the voice... read
  • by philip halmarack on 07/29/2014
    A nice bouncy start, this screenplay seems to have a lot of potential, but with the chance that it could easily slide into marshmallow land. A five year old detective is a bit of a stretch. And the title has strong echoes of the Swartzenegger film Descriptions are generally good. A really easy read. But I have a problem with referencing other films – such as Sin City (an... read
  • A review of Lost Love
    by taijinkyofusho on 07/29/2014
    I really couldn't have come across your story at a worse time. I'm sitting here thinking about a girl. One of those situations where you can't tell if your love for someone is unrequited or not. I made it maybe two pages into your story before the tears started flowing, right about where you talk about how everything Tim says comes back to his beloved. Just hit too many nerves,... read
  • A review of CHARMING
    by xzilez on 07/29/2014
    Hey, it took me a minute to read your script. I like the idea of telling a story about what happened after Cinderella married her prince charming. I’m going to say that you went with the spoof route? A lot of these “readers” probably won’t understand where you’re coming from. Don’t let that worry you too much. A lot of these readers are expecting Oscar caliber screenplays... read
  • A review of Trinity
    by xzilez on 07/29/2014
    I got your script and read that you wanted it deleted, but I’m going to be honest. I need the credit so I’m going to give it a short review. This isn’t my type of genre. I’m a horror, comedy, type of guy. The more violent the better, but this is impressive. It’s better than I thought. Oppenhimer’s story arc was wonderful. I felt for the guy. This is a well paced story but I... read
  • by rwhitlock on 07/29/2014
    This is a dark supernatural thriller. It has some good things going for it. The troubled ex-cop who is back to revisit the case isn't a new idea, but his relationship with his daughter has potential to add some heart. There's a bit of cute father-daughter dialogue. The killer's motivation stems initially from his love for his own daughter, which makes a nice parallel. This... read
  • A review of P.A.M.
    by nesw on 07/29/2014
    I did enjoy Shelia's flashback scene. I would have liked a couple more scenes with humor like that one. Some of the writing was repetitive ("He did this..." "He did this..." "He did this..."), so the writer should consider varying the sentence structure when describing action. Also make sure the action matches what is going on. I doubt a character would give someone a disappointing... read
  • A review of Totally To The Max
    by gridlock on 07/29/2014
    I’ve got to tell you, this was a very tough screenplay for me to get through. It was very confusing, I had no idea who characters were half the time or why they were important to the story, and in many places I wasn’t even sure what the point of the scene was. I think what you need to do is go back and learn some of the basics, and then tackle a rewrite focusing on one issue... read
  • A review of House of Graves
    by thomastrace03 on 07/29/2014
    I enjoyed reading your script. You’ve got a lot of intriguing elements which gives your script a lot of potential. I could see this being made into a movie that I would really enjoy. I think there a few things that you could improve on to make your script even better. As I mentioned your script has a lot of intriguing elements – gangsters, rappers, strippers and a black market... read
  • by williamf129 on 07/29/2014
    Surely the unfamiliar vernacular, in Billy's narration and all the characters' dialog, is a wonderful invention by the author. It gallops along at a breakneck pace, simultaneously unfolding the story, revealing character, and the world of the story. Through it, the posse of horny junior high school philosophers parade their wit and beyond-their-years wisdom, drag us hilariously... read
  • A review of The Wrong Dreams
    by philip halmarack on 07/29/2014
    A really nice opening with the kids in the classroom – great reactions. The tone of this screenplay is really light and it flows well, though the dialogue at times is a little oblique and takes a while to decipher. The concept of dreams turning to nightmares is a good premise and if handled well could be a winner. Page 5 - out of sight. Confusion at the top of Pages 10... read
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