• by nikkim on 10/03/2014
    The story was good and I liked it. You built up the anticipation very well! I love your descriptions, they are visceral, concise and effective. For me the extreme beating of the two teenage boys made me like our main character a little less. I think the same effect would have been made with a retaliation punch or blow, but the excessive force on the disadvantaged makes it hard... read
  • A review of Mt. Clement v.2
    by johnnyb2124 on 10/04/2014
    Mt. Clement Synopsis: “Mt. Clement, a Texas town deeply-rooted in dark traditions of the past. It’s most famous ex-resident, Randolph Hinshaw, a gridiron superstar, reluctantly returns home from fame and wealth to a hero’s welcome. He brings with him the power to lead the citizens of Mt. Clement to a brighter future but he must overcome long-entrenched forces hellbent against... read
  • A review of The One
    by micheleraedejean on 10/04/2014
    I am pretty sure this story doesn’t meet formatting guidelines. I have to admit my parents weren’t madly in love and this fairy tale of true love was never presented to me and therefore it was never a fantasy I chased. The bow to pop culture by mentioning George Clooney didn’t do anything for me, I hate the way people are so addicted to celebrities. How did he really know she... read
  • A review of Pictures By My Mama
    by Bill Albert Author on 10/04/2014
    This film is a beautiful, feel good piece in tribute to an important woman. Looking at a remarkable woman in a difficult era who really had to face what was happening. I was curious at first because "Pictures BY My Mama" is such an odd title but you get to see things by both the filmmaker and his mother's eyes and it works well with music and pacing. I really liked this... read
  • A review of 2
    by Bill Albert Author on 10/04/2014
    It's a difficult film to decipher and I watched it twice to get the hang of it. Some interesting choices in editing with almost half of it made up of a man driving across streets after a storm. There are moments where it makes a sudden change to something new that really stand out. After the dark silhouette of the driver the sudden light and clear image of him is a bit shocking... read
  • A review of Breakdown
    by Bill Albert Author on 10/04/2014
    A very nice and well thought out film with more than one meaning and lots of things going on. Breakdown refers to more than just the truck they are driving and I liked the way it plays out. Both characters have to be honest with themselves and each other about what the are doing and where they are going. They also have to face the fact that sometimes honesty can hurt. A... read
  • by Bill Albert Author on 10/04/2014
    You never know who you are going to meet and sometimes a chance encounter can change everything. A nice short film, well directed and acted, the also proves opposites can attract. What I also liked about this is, with editing and camera work, there was an uneasy sense of danger with the driving and I half expected there to be a collision with some other car. It was a very... read
  • by Greg Marangell on 10/04/2014
    I really liked this film. Happy Birthday My Dear had an engaging and well thought plot centered around a birthday party for Oscar. One of the hardest things for a short film to achieve is to get you to care about the characters and what is happening to them. This film does an exceptional job of showing what Oscar's wife is going through and you can understand her actions... read
  • A review of When I Woke
    by DitaRenee on 10/05/2014
    This is a good short story. Technically, it does what short stories are supposed to do - drop you in, make you look about and conclude with a twist, surprise and a great ending. My only complaint is that it may be a little too short. I wanted to get a little more emotionally involved so I would feel really sorry when the protagonist awoke. I didn't quite feel that and I... read
  • A review of Thicker Than Water
    by micheleraedejean on 10/05/2014
    This is the third story of yours I have read and you write well. We all know the saying is blood is thicker than water, and like father like son, and obviously this was an attempt at illustrating that point. This story was well written but a bit improbable. The dialogue was unnatural, a kid saying this “I don’t know. Maybe since March..” doesn’t sound right. The story starts... read
  • A review of Misawa, Japan
    by johnregan on 10/05/2014
    Misawa, Japan review Page 1 I prefer “sit at a bar” instead of “in a bar.” Delete [just] here and make it less wordy: There was a string of bars and night clubs in this region that served the men and women who in turn served at the joint U. S. Air Force and Navy base located [just] on the outskirts of town. You could cut this back even more like below: A string of bars... read
  • A review of Artificial
    by hickok113 on 10/05/2014
    The formatting looked correct. Could have described Dr. Al Miski more than just saying "40's". The Lou to Jack was well written. I didn't have a problem with the pacing. Today they use a cotton swab inside the cheek for DNA samples and don't take blood, so the scene where he kicks the machine over to avoid being detected needs to be rewritten. Pg. 47 - "get home to my husband"... read
  • by PabloSecca on 10/05/2014
    1. p1, etc---Easy on the pointlessly sexual description of women. We get it---she's hot. Most women cast in movies are attractive, move on 2. p10---Nice intro section, basics of the plot/situation. I like Arben being quietly threatening 3. p20---why would Arben need her if he's replete with thugs already? 4. p23---Twenty-three pages, lots of talking, not much has happened... read
  • A review of Junk Food
    by matt r jones on 10/06/2014
    I like the idea of the story and it gave a nice glimpse into the dark underworld of a small town. Obviously makes you think of Texas Chainsaw as the cop is involved and the hooks etc. Setting it at night and letting us know about the lawns being looked after and the diner scene at the end was cool. Just a few things I noted and these are just my thoughts and suggestions. The... read
  • A review of Artificial
    by Tom Harden on 10/06/2014
    Artificial is a science fiction script revolving around our main scientist protagonist, Lou, who becomes a completely different person with the help of a very mysterious and shady organization. Right off the bat, practically within the first page of your script, I was completely immersed in the narrative. You are very gifted in your visual imagery. Furthermore, your concept... read
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