"In this world there are only two tragedies: one is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it."

- Oscar Wilde


  • A review of The Goaltender
    by Untitled8 on 07/05/2014
    As a heads up, I review as I go along. That way I can also work as an editor and help with any spelling errors I notice. First off, I hope I can be of help because I noticed that you have already updated this screenplay with another draft. Hopefully for my benefit and yours, that any suggestions I make can be used to better the latest draft. pg. 4 ...just for the fact that... read
  • A review of 'Tis The Season
    by tonymcfadden on 07/05/2014
    What stops this from being perfect for me is the unrealistic portrayal of Nate at the beginning of the screenplay. The initial writing (for his character) is a bit clunking, to my ear, but by Act 2 it smoothes out. Structurally the movie hits all the marks. Once Nate settles down, the dialog is spot on, and the Nate's character Arc comes to a very satisfactory conclusion... read
  • A review of Farrah
    by swantonjohn on 07/05/2014
    Plot: A loser ski lift attendant takes an instant dislike to his best friend’s snobbish fiancée, and attempts to break them up before they can get married. It’s a very simple but strong idea for a comedy and the ski mountain setting felt like a bit of a throwback to eighties comedies like Better off Dead which I thought was cool. I felt scenes that focussed on the central... read
  • A review of Vengar
    by Russ2007 on 07/05/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
  • A review of The Last War
    by mdoliner on 07/05/2014
    Review of the last war. A movie in the future allows the writer to make up new rules, but it's no fun to play unless you know the rules.Kristiana can fly through space and disappear. Aiden is a guy who feels sorry for himself. Hope he's not the protag.. He's dying to he decides to be an asshole. Newscasters giving information in a screenplay yells “beginner.” You may be... read
  • by qikplay on 07/05/2014
    One note carried over from the first review: Muslims will never call other people 'pigs' that is against their religion, they would call them 'dogs'. I have read the first version; [http://labs.triggerstreet.com/labs/sorry-but-its-very-bad/Review?oid=4925766 ] and the newer one, the new one is written better and more descriptive which has made it longer , but the original... read
  • A review of Live Tv (V3)
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/05/2014
    First let me say I enjoyed this script. It was very well written and you have a good grasp of structure. The tone and mood were set nicely early on. I realized I was in it by around page 17. When Santa and St. Nick entered the studio, all felt right, and I was excited to see where it would go next. When P.25 hit and Father Murphy got capped I was definitely onboard so nice... read
  • by Cab Coola on 07/05/2014
    Shu-zeezle! I wouldn't necessarily consider this a part two. It was more of a fleshed out original. The Zorbatone's had more of a back story along with Zoe and Zax which gave the characters more life. I enjoyed reading earth's historical account seen from the eyes of Aliens. It was a very good read. And I enjoyed riding along for the search. Few very minor errors: Pg... read
  • A review of Peace of War
    by taijinkyofusho on 07/05/2014
    I really love the stark and vivid imagery found in abundance in the aptly titled Peace of War. You paint a crystalline picture of the varied characters on the front lines of war and the camaraderie they share but also the ghosts that they are forced to live for a lifetime well after the war has ended. “Just to think, I used to look to the sky for peace" seems like a song lyric... read
  • A review of Lola
    by zardoz13 on 07/05/2014
    Great screenplay. There are many reviews, so I'll stick to the things I noticed that others haven't mentioned. The dialogue is excellent, for the most part. The only character I would review is Jane. She came across as young. I kept having to remind myself she was 16 and not 12. She can be cutesy and innocent without seeming like a child. I would like to see Lola really tried... read
  • A review of Farrah
    by Lascreenwriter on 07/05/2014
    Aside from the minor typos (i.e. 28,37,74,84), here we have a story similar to the 2000 comedy, Meet the Parents. The main character, Sammy, has a total beef with his "best friend", Daniel's love interest, Farrah. This is analogous to in Meet the Parents when Robert De Niro's character, Jack, loathes Greg played by Ben Stiller. However, in Meet The Parents, Greg's innocent... read
  • by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    I don't really consider this a short film. This is more of a rant about what you like and don't like. I didn't see the connection between Lincoln and the Civil War and how a southern soldier running from a battle to Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders pushing their horses overboard and the horses becoming disoriented and swimming to the open sea to men trying to escape Lincoln's... read
  • by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    Chevrolet never had a better commercial. I wish you did more commercials instead of the dull crude they usually put on television. Everything in your short was creative, funny and witty. I don't really have anything bad to say about your film. Maybe add what features does the Chevy have that is better than the Ford. Guys don't necessarily like a car just because it looks... read
  • A review of Crossing Over
    by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    This is one of the best screenplays I've read on Triggerstreet.com. You have a talent for writing. One of the reasons your screenplay is good is because of the dialog. You have an ear for dialog, which made your characters believable. Each of your characters spoke in the way that character would act, which created depth to each of your characters. Especially the dialog... read
  • A review of Sunset
    by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    I enjoyed your film. It was a sweet, innocent film, which was enjoyable to watch. It was better than most short films that I've seen on Triggerstreet.com. The lead male looked sweet and innocent guy who wouldn't hurt a fly. I found myself wanting him to get the girl. The female lead did a great job too. She portrayed herself as a kind and gentile person who would be good... read
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