"No one ever went broke in Hollywood underestimating the intelligence of the public."

- Elsa Maxwell

Reviews

  • A review of Coming Out
    by johnregan on 05/07/2014
    I love the concept and the story is ingenious. It reads almost as if the writer or someone close to the writer floated the two-person-disguised-as-one trial balloon and it worked until a collision with real life brought everything to a sudden halt. I have a cousin who was 400 plus pounds and is now 200 so I know what he went through, and you captured that well. I find the... read
  • A review of Angels (rev)
    by Yenque on 05/07/2014
    First of all I really like the script, I thought it was great. there's not I would change in it, because everything was well put together. But would like to put my opinion some parts. The DIRECTOR: In the first few pages when we introduce the antagonist, I though he was great, but I felt like he should've been described a little more powerful, a little more scarier. Even... read
  • A review of Veracity
    by Melinda May on 05/07/2014
    With a great title, “Veracity,” pulls the reader into an undercover cop's life on what has to be his worst day ever as he confronts his compulsion to lie, cheat and steal his way to retirement. As main characters go, Chase is not likeable; he is, however, interesting as his life brims over with bad choices. The possibility of his redemption engages the reader. He becomes... read
  • A review of 13.45 (part 4)
    by micheleraedejean on 05/07/2014
    A story about bullying, self-awareness and confidence using soccer as its platform. I know nothing about Soccer so the sports terminology was meaningless to me. I think it would enhance the story to explain some of the things that the author feels are most important, that non soccer fans wouldn’t know, unless they want to limit their audience to soccer fans. There is some odd... read
  • A review of Angels (rev)
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 05/07/2014
    ANGELS (rev)—is well-written and has a moderately good pace. Your structure appears fine. Before I go any farther, I have to point out; you achieved what I don’t see often. You write vividly. You show and rarely tell. The characters were mostly believable, albeit somewhat clichéd. Others may have a different take. I would rate the concept good. There are many produced scripts... read
  • A review of Lightrunners
    by Last Fountain on 05/07/2014
    LIGHTRUNNERS is a highly imaginative fantasy-filled action adventure packed with lots of fun. You've managed to throwback to the original STAR WARS and combine the crazy action fun of a PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. There's a large cast of characters. There's a great variety of alien creatures. Lots of cool technology and gadgets. Inventive weaponry. And a good balance between... read
  • A review of Black Days Are Coming
    by Russ2007 on 05/08/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by rexb99 on 05/08/2014
    Try as I might I am unable to detect any substantial changes from version one of this story. As I said in my previous review, 'The Fix is a well-written story with a somewhat muddled moral'. The main problem I had with the first version was that it seemed to be heading for a moralistic ending (I cited the 1888 poem 'Casey At The Bat' and added 'In that classic poem the American... read
  • A review of Angels (rev)
    by kamalkrishan on 05/08/2014
    So a sister starts to BOND with her dead twin in order to get to a psycho killer. The concept is good but seems carelessly brought about. Over all the story lacks a personality as it tries to do to many things rather than to concentrate on one. May be it is just me but it all leaves me all at sea. Debie and Beckie’s characters are similar at skills level, one being a stunt... read
  • A review of SLIP/THROUGH
    by theauthor on 05/08/2014
    I love the idea of this. The synopsis did draw me in. The title, not so much. I'm not sure if this has a 'Noir' quality to it. I think it is better to let the audience come to that conclusion rather than try to tell them it is. (I would remove filn noir suggestion on page 89.) You have created a good world for your story and filled it with lots of action. So good on that front... read
  • by rexb99 on 05/08/2014
    I'll read this screenplay as a director rather than another writer - more qualified to do that anyway. Hope it's a help. Question: How does the audience know this: 'Gabriel survived a lifetime to see what's laid out in front of him through that window'? By pg 14 I'm becoming very interested in what some of the 'ads and distractions' are all about and what they might say... read
  • A review of Respect 101
    by JakeFree on 05/08/2014
    This is a well written piece. The only complaint I have is when the younger guy says he met a girl. It just seems too cliché and since he doesn't get talked out of continuing to do the work anyways it just seems pointless. Other than that, nice twist at the end. The lighting in this was done really well too. So A+ on that. great camera work as well.
  • A review of Aswang Abomination
    by JakeFree on 05/08/2014
    Nice piece. Good job at maintaining suspense in order to keep the reader involved. Some of the wording could be changed to make it a bit neater for instance when you say "shaking my head no." usually if you shake your head its implied you mean no and nodding is for yes. There were a few other small things throughout like that but I don't feel like it really hurt the story... read
  • A review of When the Lotus Blooms
    by Yenque on 05/08/2014
    First of all I would like to say that your script is so amazing. Every page is just so touching. I could tell you wrote this from the bottom of your heart... amazing. there's not too much that I would change about this script, but there is a few minor things that maybe you can touch up. OK first: Are you Vietnamese? there's a few grammatical correctable mistakes that you... read
  • A review of Angels (rev)
    by Melinda May on 05/08/2014
    “Angels” combines the supernatural with an intense murder mystery as a surviving twin, with the help of a few lost souls, brings a serial killer to justice. Well paced and structured, the characters are interesting and believable. Some very minor issues with dialogue (discussed below), but overall a great story that is really well put together. The opening racing scenes... read
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