"You don’t write because you want to say something; you write because you’ve got something to say."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald


  • by Melinda May on 06/28/2014
    “Kindergarten Detective” is an amusing comedy, where little kids talk like adults and ascribe adult notions to their lives (this alone is very funny) and they do so while satirizing (movie) detectives, making for layers of humor. All and all, it's a nicely done story! Suzzie Q is not part of Rocky's roll call (p. 8), consider adding her in the main introduction. Consider... read
  • A review of Earth On Mars
    by MoMo5Mia on 06/28/2014
    I could really visualize everything going on in your script. That was a great idea with John being chosen to be the first pioneer to Mars, since he was an astronaut captain and was with prosthetics. I kept thinking that he was Farmer John. This was all very realistic to me, because I can see this happening in the not-so-distant future. I could tell that you put a lot of thought... read
  • A review of Wolflord
    by martinp on 06/28/2014
    Wolflord presents many epic wide-screen, breath-taking visuals that transport us to another world. So while the world-building is rendered on a grand scale, the character building remains relatively shallow, entirely propelled by what becomes an intricate, and somewhat confusing, plot. The main character of Arvaken is portrayed as without mercy, all powerful and unstoppable,... read
  • by dplage1116 on 06/28/2014
    The most memorable scene in this script is the early "chase" scene. It's certain to make an audience melt from how cute it is and still laugh at its the absurdity of the situation. However, the script as a whole is troubled. Not because it isn't funny, but because it's structurally unsound. CONCEPT/LOGLINE: The idea is lovable and viable, yet still somehow flawed. These are... read
  • A review of Here to There
    by RachelWoolley on 06/28/2014
    I like the premise here. The idea of a small group of hackers taking down a leader a world away is really fascinating. It’s especially interesting to set your tyrannical villain in a real country. Given Bozek’s situation up against such a monstrous dictator it’d be impossible not to root for him. I just wish I could same the same for the hackers. I was a little dubious... read
  • A review of Squirrel Impossible
    by ydnar600 on 06/28/2014
    Dialogue: You have a bit of repetition in dialogue made even more conspicuous by the conspicuous lack of exclamation points. It just looks weird and reads weird like Old Man Farley at the top of p108 (and lots of other places) Story: I think I like this story a bit better than Anna and the Mirror. One of the things I’ve had to do is reset my expectations a bit due to this... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by BUNKER on 06/28/2014
    First off I have to say this is a well written script. I can almost feel the writer’s love of the sport of baseball and passion to tell this story. I liked the quick sidebar following the mysterious introduction that gives us a quick look into Jack’s backstory. I love the reason why this measly sum of money meant so much to this millionaire, this secret stash of freedom that’s... read
  • A review of LOUD JACKET
    by Crystallin on 06/29/2014
    I appreciated the concept of the story and the uniqueness of the 8-ball jacket. The romance had charming moments. My biggest distraction in the script was that everything was a bit too much over the top. Too much color commentary in the descriptions, too many odd ways of talking. It was very exhausting to read multiple characters with verbal affectations, especially during... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 06/29/2014
    A man moves to an isolated cabin to deal with having committed an evil act and is trapped by a snow storm. He deals with the dark passenger of his conscience in a slow and esoteric manner. The writing was decent and there was an eerie picture painted here. The structure is odd, with single sentence paragraphs with too much space in between. The atmosphere was well done but... read
  • A review of Track Changes
    by Cab Coola on 06/29/2014
    Hey John, I enjoyed this story immensely. It was the pro's and con's of the growth of technology. From the get go it had the vibe of '1984' like a prequel to the Orwell story. The more we create, the more we enslave ourselves in a way. Sure advances in technology helps but at the cost of freedom? You did a very good job debating both sides of the argument but more so for the... read
  • A review of Leap Year Gold
    by Cab Coola on 06/29/2014
    Benjamin Button searches for gold. I gotta admit I'm kind of hazy on the meaning of this story. But I'll give ya what I think. I assume it's an old man before death who finds a hammer that reminds him of his childhood. He remembers back, years of searching for what he felt was important 'treasure'. And at the end of his life, he finally finds it. It was time shared with friends... read
  • A review of Mousetrap
    by Cab Coola on 06/29/2014
    Hey John, as usual the prose was flawless and I didn't spot any errors. The story, however, was kind of confusing for me. Hears what I got, she set the mousetrap in there because she didn't have insurance, unable to afford it and she thought that the officer would pity her instead of digging any further. The officer figured her out and extracted revenge in her apartment. Or... read
  • A review of Leap Year Gold
    by micheleraedejean on 06/29/2014
    I’m sorry but I don’t have any idea what this story is supposed to be about. The way it was written made it sound like this guy spent his whole life out in a field with a hammer and a shovel. The guy gets old and then gets young and then it finally mentions that he actually had a life outside of digging with the hammer and shovel. The synopsis and log line are the only parts... read
  • A review of 9-11
    by Cab Coola on 06/29/2014
    Reliving the twin towers? Not necessarily. It starts out with a young lady making her way to work without any problems. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the people buzzing like every other morning in the Big Apple. But soon things grew dim. The building she works at catches fire on the night floor and reaches to the eleventh, trapping people in the middle... read
  • A review of One Punch
    by Cab Coola on 06/29/2014
    One punch, whether metaphorical or not, is all it takes sometimes to change a man's future. This story starts out with a man running from the mob. It's never disclosed what he's running for but it is apparent that he's in deep shit. He finds sanctuary in a building hosting boxing matches. He runs into a guy named Tommy who is putting the fights on and from there tells his... read
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