"There is no great genius without some touch of madness."

- Seneca


  • by dreff on 06/24/2014
    All the elements are there, but I think there needs to be some restructuring to get this in a filmable, sellable place. I like the concept, the kiddie detective is cute and the noir/ detecitve genre elements are cheeky- they land for the most part. MY main problems: First- the age of the characters. This is all just too sophisticated for kindergarteners. Film audiences... read
  • A review of Peace of War
    by blueberryjim on 06/24/2014
    First off I really enjoyed your story. It was pretty well done and had a great twist at the end. Actually there really wasn’t a lot that I’d change so I’ll just give you a few suggestions that could perhaps improve the narrative but by no means are necessary. You did a really good job of painting some very different characters. Everyone seemed to have a distinct personality... read
  • A review of When the Lotus Blooms
    by ramassey on 06/24/2014
    I just finished reading When the Lotus Blooms and really enjoyed it. I was just notified today that it is in the process of being taken down. I hope that it's being given another draft as it is very close to perfect and deserves another. The characters were strong, the dialogue for the most part was strong, the story felt very real and either well researched or connected to... read
  • A review of Squirrel Impossible
    by Christopher P. Nokio on 06/25/2014
    This is the second or third Disney type animated script I have looked at and I Have to say you guys seem to have it going on. Real good work again here and not only was the writing practically flawless from a technical perspective the content mostly matched. Apart from some questions and suggestions I made in notes whilst I was reading I dare say this script is ready to... read
  • A review of A Day Like Today - v2
    by Writerspod on 06/25/2014
    I end up liking this story towards the end, it is a nice little journey through the day with these characters from start to finish, it shows no matter what you have plan it could all change for better or worse and that is a life fact. I don’t find it to be a great piece of story I was caught with the first two pages with forces me to read on but i find it dragged after that,... read
  • A review of Thy Will Be Done
    by Cab Coola on 06/25/2014
    The writer starts right off by taking me by the hand and walking me through, at first, what seems to be a murder of a popular figure. And the who, what, when, where, and how it happened. But as the story progresses it is shown there was a murder but of a celebrated fictitious character named Sherlock Homes. The story was well-written and the little poems at the beginning of... read
  • by Cab Coola on 06/25/2014
    I like the idea of this story. But for the most part, it felt rushed. A young girl forced in labor by her mother, working mine-shafts? The writer never really specified what work or why they were in desperate need to work. And what era are they in? I felt like it was the early 20th century when school wasn't as imperative as work. But again, I see where you're going but it... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 06/25/2014
    I missed how there was a big truth revealed here but maybe I missed it. I am not a big fan of zombies so I am not the ideal audience for this story but since they have been written about for almost two hundred years I guess I should get used to them. This was kind of slow, it took a long time to get to the climax, I think it could use a little more action along the way. I liked... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 06/25/2014
    I had a manic depressive boyfriend for twenty years and I could instantly relate to this scenario. One minute he loved me to death and the next he looked at me with a cold look of hate. Over nothing usually and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but it also wasn’t fixable. Stinky was said too many times, try a different word for some of the stinky’s. “Mary let her free hand scrap along”... read
  • A review of Paul-pulation Bomb
    by blueberryjim on 06/25/2014
    Hey Caleb,this is the third story of yours that I've reviewed now and I have to say I've enjoyed all three. This one, Paul-pulation Bomb, was pretty short so there really isn't too much to nitpick or suggest. I'll give you what I liked and then some suggestions on what you might do to enrich the story a little. First off I think you did a good job describing your three characters... read
  • by Russ2007 on 06/25/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
  • A review of Here to There
    by DavidStokes on 06/26/2014
    Hi, I’ve just read your screenplay “Here To There” and here are my thoughts on it. Firstly, it is an original story and you should be given props for that. It’s refreshing to see a movie not set entirely in the USA. Unfortunately, I did have a lot of problems with the screenplay. It has a number of issues that need looking at and fixing. 1. President Lutomir needs a better... read
  • A review of REDtest
    by curtdarwin on 06/26/2014
    Really, you had three girls just stare at one another and you thought it would be terrifying? There was nothing to your short. What was your premise? There was no Act 2. You just had a girl run down some stairs for Act 1 see herself sitting on a couple of couches and then run up the stairs. And that was it. Good luck to you in the future.
  • by curtdarwin on 06/26/2014
    I was expecting a short film and received a music video and I was glad I did. Under the Montauk Moon is the kind of music I like and look forward to seeing your other work on Youtube. I have a minor suggestion and that is maybe show the effect the end of the season has on the people, do they need government handouts, how does the community help each other out in tough times... read
  • by Cab Coola on 06/26/2014
    I'm starting to figure these characters out after reading two in this series. And it is very intriguing. But I felt that this story really didn't start to take off until about halfway through. There were a lot of characters and descriptions giving them life but there wasn't enough to the story. I liked the metaphor that was used, vultures and stool pigeons and how they resemble... read
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