• A review of Alone
    by Melinda May on 05/26/2014
    The psychological suspense thriller, “Alone,” moves quickly, with good pacing, engaging characters and interesting dialogue. Overall, a well written screenplay. Consider providing character descriptions when introducing the characters. Hanging up clothes outside (p.1) seems odd when a below-zero storm is moving in; it seems like it would be too cold to have clothes on... read
  • A review of The Tipping Game
    by Cab Coola on 05/26/2014
    A man makes his own salvation... with the help of others. I thought it was a terrific story. Just some good ole boys sharing their knowledge and life lessons. The structure was excellent and the imagery you wrote with was easy to picture. But the moral of the story was really what was interesting. Salvation. If everyone did a little more for the fellow man or woman how genuine... read
  • A review of Reeves Point
    by johnregan on 05/26/2014
    Reeves Point Review by John Regan I liked the story and reminded me some of The Others with a churchgoing twist. It had the theme of how you cannot escape your past and nobody gets off that easy. The writing is some of the best I have read on Trigger street. You also have an original voice and style. Perhaps integrate the job at Rite Aid a little more into the story... read
  • A review of The Tipping Game
    by telliott on 05/26/2014
    This is the second story I’ve read by this writer. Of the two, this is my favorite. The writer successfully captures the characters of farmhands and their boss contemplating “salvationing” while eating pie and drinking milk (coffee for Mr. Clarke). The only thing that could have made it more American, being as it’s Memorial Day (barely), is having them order apple pie... read
  • A review of Sher Singh Rev.
    by theauthor on 05/27/2014
    Quite a story you have weaved with an interesting assortment of characters and animals. This would be a good animated tale or semi-animated with real human actors. This story has been presented before but not in a manner designed for young children. I can see a director bringing out a lot of emotion. Some terms did not translate well and others were not translated at all. I... read
  • A review of Sher Singh Rev.
    by stevles on 05/27/2014
    Firstly, dialogue and character are outstanding. Every one of importance to the story rings true with his/her own clear and distinguishable voice. Their strengths/weaknesses, good/bad traits, and unfulfilled desires are nicely captured and easily understood by the reader. Other aspects of the story; however, do not fare as well. While immersed in the reading, I was taken... read
  • A review of Reeves Point
    by micheleraedejean on 05/27/2014
    What a strange and imaginative story. It sort of made me think of Harvest Home which is one of my favorite creepy stories along with that author’s other creepy tale The Other. I’m not sure why Tom wants to help these ghosts in a town he abhorred for so many years but maybe he just needed a purpose in his life. The story was well told and I liked the way it was revealed. There... read
  • A review of The Abductionist
    by Cab Coola on 05/27/2014
    Very cool story with an interesting perspective. I've seen many sci-fi movies and read many stories about said topic. But I'm hard pressed to find one that tells the story through the visitors eyes that's what made this unique. The back story was also fascinating about the human. What kind of apocalyptic disaster happened? You left it in the air which enthralled me even more... read
  • A review of 206 rev 3
    by Kezworth29 on 05/27/2014
    Overall I thought it was an interesting story and Henry was a good villain who has a strange justification for the horrible things he does. Personally I felt like I needed a bit more information on why he was doing it, even if you could drop little hints throughout I think that would make the story a lot stronger. For instance if we could see his first murder and the internal... read
  • A review of After World
    by Cab Coola on 05/27/2014
    Great concept. I was wondering how your were going to do a children's story about the post apocalyptic world but with the fantasy aspect you were able to touch on serious issues without being too much for the younger viewer (Cockroach threats opposed to real people) The only thing about the story that I really didn't grasp was Ben's obliviousness to what was going on the... read
  • A review of The Zombie
    by macaggiano on 05/27/2014
    Hey David, sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this. I like it. I think you're off to a really solid start with it. A couple suggestions... I like the concept. It's got its own spin on the zombie genre, with a totally different tone. But I still think there's room to flesh it out a bit more. If I'm understanding it correctly, Mary sold her soul to be able to... read
  • A review of Lackeys (Revised)
    by ramassey on 05/27/2014
    I just finished reading your screenplay of Lackeys and saw a lot of promise buried under a huge amount of extraneous characters and pointless scenes. I don't mean to be harsh but this screenplay needs a lot of cutting. I found Kyle and Robin added nothing to the story just to the confusion, which by page 53 had me wanting to give up on the read. The story itself had some promise... read
  • A review of The Zombie
    by carpalT on 05/27/2014
    I love how lived in the moments and environments feel in the first act. From the ice cream to the deep bro hugs to the quiet, suspenseful seconds in Lyle's house at dark, there are images, sounds and tactile descriptions that pin me to the characters' POV. The dialogue feels alive and impulsive, as if the characters aren't sure what they're going to say until they say it... read
  • A review of Sher Singh Rev.
    by DavidStokes on 05/28/2014
    Hi Kamal, I've just read you screenplay for "Sher Singh" and would like to give you my thoughts on it. Overall, I thought that the story was very good and there's a definitely a story in there that deserves telling because I've never read anything quite like it and I doubt many people have. Unfortunately, there seem to be some formatting errors which certainly detract from... read
  • A review of The Zombie
    by Russ2007 on 05/28/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
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