• A review of Live Tv (V3)
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/05/2014
    First let me say I enjoyed this script. It was very well written and you have a good grasp of structure. The tone and mood were set nicely early on. I realized I was in it by around page 17. When Santa and St. Nick entered the studio, all felt right, and I was excited to see where it would go next. When P.25 hit and Father Murphy got capped I was definitely onboard so nice... read
  • by Cab Coola on 07/05/2014
    Shu-zeezle! I wouldn't necessarily consider this a part two. It was more of a fleshed out original. The Zorbatone's had more of a back story along with Zoe and Zax which gave the characters more life. I enjoyed reading earth's historical account seen from the eyes of Aliens. It was a very good read. And I enjoyed riding along for the search. Few very minor errors: Pg... read
  • A review of Peace of War
    by taijinkyofusho on 07/05/2014
    I really love the stark and vivid imagery found in abundance in the aptly titled Peace of War. You paint a crystalline picture of the varied characters on the front lines of war and the camaraderie they share but also the ghosts that they are forced to live for a lifetime well after the war has ended. “Just to think, I used to look to the sky for peace" seems like a song lyric... read
  • A review of Lola
    by zardoz13 on 07/05/2014
    Great screenplay. There are many reviews, so I'll stick to the things I noticed that others haven't mentioned. The dialogue is excellent, for the most part. The only character I would review is Jane. She came across as young. I kept having to remind myself she was 16 and not 12. She can be cutesy and innocent without seeming like a child. I would like to see Lola really tried... read
  • A review of Farrah
    by Lascreenwriter on 07/05/2014
    Aside from the minor typos (i.e. 28,37,74,84), here we have a story similar to the 2000 comedy, Meet the Parents. The main character, Sammy, has a total beef with his "best friend", Daniel's love interest, Farrah. This is analogous to in Meet the Parents when Robert De Niro's character, Jack, loathes Greg played by Ben Stiller. However, in Meet The Parents, Greg's innocent... read
  • by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    I don't really consider this a short film. This is more of a rant about what you like and don't like. I didn't see the connection between Lincoln and the Civil War and how a southern soldier running from a battle to Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders pushing their horses overboard and the horses becoming disoriented and swimming to the open sea to men trying to escape Lincoln's... read
  • by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    Chevrolet never had a better commercial. I wish you did more commercials instead of the dull crude they usually put on television. Everything in your short was creative, funny and witty. I don't really have anything bad to say about your film. Maybe add what features does the Chevy have that is better than the Ford. Guys don't necessarily like a car just because it looks... read
  • A review of Crossing Over
    by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    This is one of the best screenplays I've read on You have a talent for writing. One of the reasons your screenplay is good is because of the dialog. You have an ear for dialog, which made your characters believable. Each of your characters spoke in the way that character would act, which created depth to each of your characters. Especially the dialog... read
  • A review of Sunset
    by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    I enjoyed your film. It was a sweet, innocent film, which was enjoyable to watch. It was better than most short films that I've seen on The lead male looked sweet and innocent guy who wouldn't hurt a fly. I found myself wanting him to get the girl. The female lead did a great job too. She portrayed herself as a kind and gentile person who would be good... read
  • by curtdarwin on 07/05/2014
    It was a nice try to point the problems with Christmas. Jesus and Santa complain about the lack of spirit during Christmas but you portray them as allies rather than opponents. Jesus demonstrates:Spirit, Love, Mind, Principal, Truth, Soul and Life. Jesus lived a selfless life willing to be crucified to help others. Santa demonstrates the opposite qualities. He is lie... read
  • A review of The Last War
    by tonymcfadden on 07/06/2014
    The premise has potential, but the story, formatting, structure and dialog all need work. Poor formatting can be overlooking in an excellent story, but there are too many typos, out of kilter structure and a barely plausible plot. Time travel is possible, political upheaval has a radical religious cult running the world, and scientists and doctors need to become killers... read
  • by tonymcfadden on 07/06/2014
    Nate is lonely. So Nate's friends try to hook him up with a relationship girl. The first act is messy, but maybe that's the intent. This isn't something I personally would watch, but I can see it being successful if the right cast is used. Lots of sex, fart and dick jokes, but what do you expect when you're taking about an aged metal band trying to come to grips with their... read
  • A review of Death Imitating Art
    by Avishai on 07/06/2014
    First, I'll start with the good. I like the big ideas here. Dave has a clear goal: kill Victor. There are real stakes: he needs the money. There's urgency: he needs the money NOW. I'm willing to buy into this for a couple of reasons. One: Victor is loathesome, and I'd rather Dave be happy than him. Two: the notion of killing a bad artist to make the work more valuable makes... read
  • by onz11 on 07/06/2014
    I see something in your writting. You have potential, potential that can be turned into a forced-made talent. You will be a good writer if you read, read and write, write. Your screenplay is hilarious, yes comedy is your thing. Of course, not all the jokes did it with me but most did. Some of the jokes are off, need more thinking. That's the only thing that impressed me, your... read
  • A review of Lost Love
    by micheleraedejean on 07/06/2014
    Why did Betty kill herself if she and Charlie were so happy like the bartender describes them? Was it because she found out about Evelyn and if that was the case why didn’t ghost Betty reunite them in life instead of death? I would have liked this story better had Charlie recognized Evelyn before their deaths. What good did it do for him to find her if the two characters were... read
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