"No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helps you."

- Althea Gibson Darben


  • A review of Farrah
    by Untitled8 on 07/01/2014
    Pg. 1 "A body sculpted by Michelangelo, a face painted by angels." I get what you are going for but this line just might be a bit too much cheese for its own good. Pg. 5 "DANIEL Wow, really? I had no idea IT'S been that long. Jeez, time flies. So just so you know, I review and make notes as I go. So far I can tell that you know what you're doing. Your writing is solid and... read
  • A review of Track Changes
    by filmfamman on 07/01/2014
    This was more of an essay then a story, but it was well written none the less. Yes, modern convenience and the information age is a double edged sword. Big Brother Face Book is already invading our privacy, but is the downside worth the up side? But as you pointed out later in your essay, if they can down load the contents of our brains, they do not really have the true... read
  • A review of 3 Days
    by stevles on 07/01/2014
    I'd like to get the typos out of the way, first. Passenger doo for "door", (pg. 24) I'm know for "I", (pg.32) Loose sleep for "lose", (pg. 45) He is wears, for he wears, (pg.49) Character names BRAVO 3, 4, etc., include the month SEPTEMBER. Make it "pass" for pay, (pg. 87) There are several others sprinkled throughout the last 27 pages, but... well, you get the idea. Finally,... read
  • A review of Angel
    by micheleraedejean on 07/01/2014
    The writing was good and the story easy to follow but there are a lot of details in this story about things that I didn’t care about. Somehow this didn’t strike me as a first time experience. I was also sixteen my first time but it was with a seventeen year old boy who didn’t know much more than I did. It wasn’t until I went out with a twenty one year old when I was eighteen... read
  • A review of Lost Love
    by filmfamman on 07/01/2014
    This was a very well conceived tale of two (or three?) lovers who had been, in a sense, cheated of the loves of their life by the Vietnam War. The drama of the story kept me on the edge. At first I thought that revealing Betty's demise came too soon in the story, but not after Evelyn was introduced. The dialogue was well written as well. There were some typos, though, but... read
  • by Cab Coola on 07/01/2014
    Troy finally has a sequel. This was a fun read with well-written action sequences. It started out with a group of 'Fangers' stalking their prey only to find a stranger lurking in the shadows. And the stranger turns out to be a mix of Blade, Buffy with an ancient warrior feel. He carries a Khopesh and is dressed accordingly to a what many people wore back in the B.C. From... read
  • by shastina456 on 07/01/2014
    This is different. When you say something is a million times better than something from Earth, please describe why that is more. I liked when you wrote, " though there really weren't any days in space since the sun was always out there, never setting or rising. " That caught my mind good. You need to use commas more, because, without them, you will have run-on sentences. Please,... read
  • A review of Korban
    by filmfamman on 07/01/2014
    Hey, Cab, this was another fine story of yours. The style seemed a lot different from the other story of yours I read this morning. Of course the genre is completely different. I particularly liked how you described the translucent beings. It reminded me, partly, of that bleak novel called The Road (I actually did not read the book, but saw the movie instead). But, thankfully,... read
  • A review of The Fifth Host
    by Cab Coola on 07/01/2014
    I enjoyed this short story very much. It was a look into a dystopian future where the world was over populated. They eventually manufactured female robots to take the place of passed loved ones and to minimize the births. But can a robot fall in love? If programmed to do so. I didn't spot any errors and the story read quickly. The concept was fresh with and structure was... read
  • A review of Let Them Come Apart
    by max zugu on 07/01/2014
    This is an effective B movie screenplay. There are some very tense scenes. There are some typos, unfortunately, but this does not detract from the horror. At first, I was put off by Scott's jerkiness, but then as the story went on, it made sense. The premise of the husband wanting to watch his wife with another man is original and squirm-inducing. When Evan enters the movie,... read
  • A review of Farrah
    by Melinda May on 07/01/2014
    “Farrah” concerns an underachiever faced with his best friend's wedding to the woman of his friend's dreams, who has a few skeletons in her closet. Well written with good pacing and structure the screenplay draws the reader in with interesting and sympathetic characters. The dialogue is engaging and natural. Consider putting a space between the introductory name in all... read
  • A review of Farrah
    by BStiglets on 07/01/2014
    Ponty, I really hate these sort of unspecific reviews. I don't think it provides useful direction, it doesn't feel in depth. However, I love Farrah. While I don't think it's what's "big" right now...it feels almost like a distant cousin of the Coen's comedy-noirs (Husucker, Arizona) but with the sophistication pulled back (not a bad thing). The thing I love is that there... read
  • A review of TAKE TEA AND TALK
    by qikplay on 07/01/2014
    I hope you don't take it the wrong way but this movie is very bad. starting with some factual/structural errors: Muslims will never call other people 'pigs' that is against their religion, they would call them 'dogs'. Also Afghans do not speak 'Persian', Persia is Iran, and Iranians speak farsi. The part where there are english subtitles on Afghan speaking characters in a... read
  • A review of SKIPPING STONES
    by zardoz13 on 07/01/2014
    This screenplay is funny in moments and offensive in others. It has style, but the characters don't behave like real people (the woman in the dinner punching Mickey for calling her fat, Libby thinking it's romantic when Cav tackles her and pretends to beat her up). Racism is a touchy subject. Are people going to laugh? Or are they going to walk out offended? Also, I'm not... read
  • A review of Passion, Fire & Grace
    by Russ2007 on 07/02/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
  • Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next