"Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness."

- Bertrand Russell


  • A review of Peace of War
    by Schism83 on 08/05/2014
    Hey, Cab. Just read 'Peace of War' and here are my thoughts and comments. This was a hard read for me. It's a good idea, but there are a lot of issues/problems the reader encounters all the way to the end. Below is an itemized list of things to consider. Some general notes, though: 1) when writing dialogue, it's almost always = He turned and said, "I don't care." = The... read
  • A review of Semaphore
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 08/05/2014
    This is one of those stories that makes you cry before you even start reading past the first page. I wished he would've held on to her or moved to where she was or at least lost his virginity to her. But, the story would've not been true to form and the rest of the pages before the end would've been for nothing. I am 32. I have a wife and two little girls but there was a time... read
  • by VonNiederauer on 08/05/2014
    First thing that struck me was that this was the most technically professional filming and editing I have seen so far. The sound was clear and the use of single colour effect was nice. The special effects make-up and casting of actors was great. The only thing that was a little confusing was the concept. Are they hunting the humans or the cars? The action moves too fast to... read
  • A review of Occasio
    by datho on 08/05/2014
    Well thought, well wrote screenplay. I was on page 34 when I checked the page count for the first time. I liked everything about this screenplay: dialog, characters, story… DIALOG. Short, cleaver, funny… Nothing on the nose or explanatory. I don’t have any complains. Very good job. I particularly loved the dialog on page 54. CHARACTERS. Fuller was a good protagonist; used... read
  • A review of Thinkin' Big
    by grimmfilmservices on 08/05/2014
    The production value was good for a zero budget film. The green screen and stock footage seemed to flow with the subject matter. This one felt like a former streetwise beatnik telling the younger folk his version of narcissism. Belief in one’s own abilities is fine, but the real magic in life comes with working hard and doing the little things every day. Case and point... read
  • A review of FICTION
    by micheleraedejean on 08/05/2014
    This is a strange piece about a hate filled psychopathic character. It captures the crazy well but is written in a somewhat disjointed manner. The story has many unnecessarily capitalized and hyphenated words and several misspelled words. Maybe it was written in a hurry as there is some uneven formatting in some places. There are two paragraphs, one at the end of page four... read
  • by grimmfilmservices on 08/05/2014
    Production value was better than most on this site. Sound and shot selection were great. Not supposed to do episodic content here, but it pretty much stands on its own so lets move on. The main actress and the tweeker were both good and should keep going. Everyone else needs work or better direction. As far as the story, it should work for webisodes, or The WB if you... read
  • A review of Bubba's Bubble
    by micheleraedejean on 08/05/2014
    I have read several of your stories and I like this one the best. I have an artesian well on my property and until now didn’t really know what that meant, fortunately where I live there aren’t any sinkholes as the size of the well is very small. Why such large spaces between paragraphs and headings? This is an essay and not a story really but that could easily be fixed by showing... read
  • A review of The Branding
    by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 08/05/2014
    Really good country philosophy. The dialogue between Sam and Mose at the beginning was comical, truthful, and believable. What I mean by that is, along with the prose, it went perfectly along with the genre of story. Examples: "She got hair that flows like water, eyes that turn all colors of the plain, an' an ass that makes ye want to pray for the secret God spoke when he... read
  • A review of Korban
    by johnturnbull on 08/05/2014
    I'll start with the positives. You have some great visuals and tackle a weighty subject with some empathy and competence. This can be something good. Now... well, here's some notes on the first few pages. I struggled to finish this story and continue to comment after page 4. I am not writing these comments to hack or compare to my stuff, they are here to be constructive. I... read
  • A review of Korban
    by telliott on 08/05/2014
    I readily admit that I wasn’t too thrilled when assigned this story. Another sci-fi … crap! However, the sci-fi aspect just laid the background for, what to me, was ultimately the story of a father’s and son’s love for each other. Who sacrificed for whom? What was the korban? Enoch was willing to sacrifice himself so that his son could live. SPOILER ALERT: Yet Melchizedeck... read
  • by ramassey on 08/06/2014
    Hi I just finished reading your screenplay and will break this review down into segments. Concept-Great, great concept. Fresh, original take on a much loved genre. No issues here. Story-Personally, I felt the execution never lived up to the concept. The writer needs to go back and really study some of the great detective movies of the forties and fifties. I would of liked... read
  • A review of Paper Bull
    by cmcloughlin1218 on 08/06/2014
    I enjoyed this story. It was sort of hard to follow because of the dialect but after I got use to the western/hick talk it was a good read. I found the relationship between Sadie and Paul to be extremely comical but in a weird way probable. We all know those type of people; too weird for the real world but too interesting to be a complete recluse. Eventually the world does... read
  • A review of Paper Bull
    by nesw on 08/06/2014
    I also reviewed How Sweetly the Maypole Sings, and I really like this one too. Great story, great dialogue, terrific ending. A few things specifically I enjoyed: Page 18 - The banter between Sadie and Paul. Page 21 - “Words like those gonna make us lighter than Jesus's toe on Galilee.” Page 23 - “An' there was a porch war he could look at the clouds an' the lights of the... read
  • A review of Lost Love
    by JeffreyGonell on 08/06/2014
    Lost Love is thrilling drama taking place some time after the Vietnam war. Charlie, the main protagonist, lost his memory during the war due to a bomb going off near him. He then loses his lady, the only one keeping him serene through his post-war stress. I cannot give away the satisfying twist that progresses later on in the story, but what I can say is that he Found his Real... read