• A review of The Last War
    by qikplay on 07/06/2014
    although the synopsis of this script was imaginative, the script left me shaking my head .. from what i can tell the entire 1st half of the script was world-building as the character 'Kristina' describes the 'situation' to a 2nd character call 'Aiden' that being the world is dominated by an evil dictator called 'ed' of all things, 'ed robersson'. that this dictator is ultra-religious... read
  • A review of Off Broadway
    by Ponty Pridd on 07/06/2014
    Off Broadway follows three struggling actors as they search for success in NYC. Right off the bat I'll say that I am not the target audience for this type of thing. Characters that suddenly break into song is not my bag, but from a story standpoint I can at least take a look and see what is and isn't working. Characters: Toby and Rob were rather easy to picture. Rob the brooding,... read
  • A review of Absolutely Corrupted
    by micheleraedejean on 07/06/2014
    I think I would classify this as a comedy horror story. What does a high school kid know about trailer park husbands? I am pretty sure you can’t just yank someone’s scalp off, people get their hair caught in machines and their scalps don’t get yanked off so this was somewhat of a comedic scene to me. “"To be perfectly honest, it wasn't all about me” seems like a strange thing... read
  • A review of Normal People
    by Cab Coola on 07/06/2014
    Lying to fit in. "Normal People" was a story about a man with epilepsy fits. He keeps his ailment a secret to his work and his fiance in hopes to live a normal life. But when he has an accident at work and is rushed to the hospital, the can of worms spill out. This was a pretty well written story about an outcast of society. It happens everyday with various issues from health... read
  • A review of Pretty Girls
    by Cab Coola on 07/06/2014
    A philosophical murderer. This was a very good story written like a diary. It was about a man dealing with anxiety and a social disorder. The writer did a superb job setting the tone at the beginning. I knew after the first page he had done something bad but the what, when, where, why, and hows were expertly pieced together page after page. I didn't understand what you were... read
  • A review of Haiti's Hope
    by Kilroy67 on 07/06/2014
    I'm surprised a film hasn't been made already about the earthquake that devastated Haiti. I like "Haiti's Hope" in that it's a story about people. There are no political statements. There's action and humanity, but no high handed preaching. There are two story lines that lead to the moment the earthquake hits. Both stories are a little slow to develop, especially the one... read
  • A review of Paul-pulation Bomb
    by DJBFilmz on 07/07/2014
    This is my first story I’ve read on here, and I haven’t read many books, nor do I know much about them in any sense. Reason for me telling this, is for you to know my position and knowledge of the “novel” style, whereas I mainly write and read screenplays. Anywho, I like this story, it’s simple, yet has an onion layer effect. I do wonder if it could be more visuals and less... read
  • A review of A Day Like Today - v2
    by olufemi on 07/07/2014
    The rankings this play has received to this point are utterly absurd. “A Day Like Today” is a superbly-crafted script, put together so seamlessly by so deft a hand that it appears effortless (while I’m sure an absurd amount of effort went into its construction). The apparent ease with which the story unfolds is the only reason a reader could confuse this work as anything... read
  • by Cab Coola on 07/07/2014
    This was a very good revision of 'Farmer's Fury, King's Folly'. I remembered the first was good but left me confused towards the end. But this on the other hand was clear and well written. The characters were diverse and their dialogue fit each one perfectly. The fight scenes with Vincent and then again with Quincy flowed smoothly. The structure looked good and I didn't spot... read
  • A review of Lessons from Grandpa
    by swantonjohn on 07/07/2014
    Plot: A rebellious teenage football star experiences events from his Grandfathers life through magic. From that description and the setup, I read this as a family film, but the tone of many of the flashback scenes are much more adult drama, so I wasn’t quite sure who this is aimed at. Character: Who’s story is this? The flashbacks are very detailed, but Alex feels short changed... read
  • A review of Gold in Key Largo
    by Cab Coola on 07/07/2014
    I enjoyed this story although I was hoping for more action in the end. You built the story up with the gang robbing the South African as Meehan watches on. There was motivation for the gangster with gold and for Enrico, there was the cocaine and homophobic slur. But there was no big payoff. The gang just surrenders. A shootout would've been epic. I like the character of Meehan... read
  • A review of FIN Part 1
    by filmfamman on 07/07/2014
    This was a captivating story, or at least the start of a story. It ended all too briefly, the 'Fin' came all too quickly. I do not know if you intend to expand on this tale, but it would be a very good one. The dialogue was crisp, but sparse, appropriate for a man who was a bit on the taciturn side and was living on the edge not knowing which day would be his last. Sheila... read
  • A review of Semaphore
    by filmfamman on 07/07/2014
    I already reviewed the earlier version of this story, last week I think. But I see that you deleted the old version and uploaded this new one with a new ending. Again, you have a very good handling of a descriptive prose style. And even though the main character's life is moribund, boring to the point of being almost non existent, you make it interesting by the telling of... read
  • A review of The Branding
    by filmfamman on 07/07/2014
    Boy, cows born in India have no idea how lucky they are. In fact, we ourselves do not know how lucky we are to be born human instead of cow. Yes, the circle of life continues on spinning. Your "awe-shucks" prose was expertly written to bring the reader down into the dust and muck of a typical branding day. As humans we are about 10,000 years separated from our hunter-gathering... read
  • A review of Squirrel Impossible
    by sogd79 on 07/07/2014
    "Squirrel Impossible" is a cute story. Overall, it's well written; it's obvious that you are proficient with technical aspects of screenwriting as well you know how to structure the story. It was easy to follow the plot, the dialogue wasn't bad. Lots of things here work well. What I felt was unexplored in this screenplay was its soul. And by this, I mean its theme. What... read