• A review of Lost Love
    by johnregan on 06/27/2014
    Lost Love review Good story Cab. I love bars and pubs and conversations and I often listen to people speak at them to hear how people really talk. I think if you sharpen and tighten the dialog this could be a great story. I also like how you used the beach. Here are some suggestions by page: Page 1 “Care for another one?” a voice said. Good job with the dialog. When... read
  • A review of Squirrel Impossible
    by zardoz13 on 06/28/2014
    Overall, this is a fun and exciting story with a good family message. The pacing and structure are right on. There's plenty of conflict and a good payoff in the end. The characters are likeable and on the mark for the most part. The parts that need the most work are dialogue, punctuation and formatting. The dialogue feels a bit clunky at times. (Page 45 "It's settled." It... read
  • A review of House of Gates V. 2
    by Russ2007 on 06/28/2014
    OPENING TWENTY FIVE PAGES: Questions you need to ask yourself: Do they establish the tone of the story? Do they set up the world this story is set in? Do these opening scenes hook and draw the reader into the world the characters live in? Are the opening pages written cleanly, efficiently and easy to follow? Are the character introductions long winded? STORY / PLOT: Is... read
  • A review of A JOURNEY TO HEAVEN
    by xzilez on 06/28/2014
    I like to review scripts as I read them. I look for clarity (is it a fast read, short descriptions, easy to follow) structure (protagonist and antagonist, grammatical errors, beginning, middle, and end), and story (is it intriguing, a page turner, hard read, boring, etc). I don’t go into deep details with characters and dialog because every writer has their own way of writing... read
  • A review of The Tipping Game
    by johnregan on 06/28/2014
    The Tipping Game review by John Regan Another quality piece of writing from Taylor. The dialect once again is the axis on which this successful story spins. It reminds me a little bit of The Cowboys movie with John Wayne and some of Unforgiven. You capture the open west well. It reads like a western. Good work. I made some page by page comments below. PAGE 1 Good start and... read
  • by Melinda May on 06/28/2014
    “Kindergarten Detective” is an amusing comedy, where little kids talk like adults and ascribe adult notions to their lives (this alone is very funny) and they do so while satirizing (movie) detectives, making for layers of humor. All and all, it's a nicely done story! Suzzie Q is not part of Rocky's roll call (p. 8), consider adding her in the main introduction. Consider... read
  • A review of Earth On Mars
    by MoMo5Mia on 06/28/2014
    I could really visualize everything going on in your script. That was a great idea with John being chosen to be the first pioneer to Mars, since he was an astronaut captain and was with prosthetics. I kept thinking that he was Farmer John. This was all very realistic to me, because I can see this happening in the not-so-distant future. I could tell that you put a lot of thought... read
  • A review of Wolflord
    by martinp on 06/28/2014
    Wolflord presents many epic wide-screen, breath-taking visuals that transport us to another world. So while the world-building is rendered on a grand scale, the character building remains relatively shallow, entirely propelled by what becomes an intricate, and somewhat confusing, plot. The main character of Arvaken is portrayed as without mercy, all powerful and unstoppable,... read
  • by dplage1116 on 06/28/2014
    The most memorable scene in this script is the early "chase" scene. It's certain to make an audience melt from how cute it is and still laugh at its the absurdity of the situation. However, the script as a whole is troubled. Not because it isn't funny, but because it's structurally unsound. CONCEPT/LOGLINE: The idea is lovable and viable, yet still somehow flawed. These are... read
  • A review of Here to There
    by RachelWoolley on 06/28/2014
    I like the premise here. The idea of a small group of hackers taking down a leader a world away is really fascinating. It’s especially interesting to set your tyrannical villain in a real country. Given Bozek’s situation up against such a monstrous dictator it’d be impossible not to root for him. I just wish I could same the same for the hackers. I was a little dubious... read
  • A review of Squirrel Impossible
    by ydnar600 on 06/28/2014
    Dialogue: You have a bit of repetition in dialogue made even more conspicuous by the conspicuous lack of exclamation points. It just looks weird and reads weird like Old Man Farley at the top of p108 (and lots of other places) Story: I think I like this story a bit better than Anna and the Mirror. One of the things I’ve had to do is reset my expectations a bit due to this... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by BUNKER on 06/28/2014
    First off I have to say this is a well written script. I can almost feel the writer’s love of the sport of baseball and passion to tell this story. I liked the quick sidebar following the mysterious introduction that gives us a quick look into Jack’s backstory. I love the reason why this measly sum of money meant so much to this millionaire, this secret stash of freedom that’s... read
  • A review of LOUD JACKET
    by Crystallin on 06/29/2014
    I appreciated the concept of the story and the uniqueness of the 8-ball jacket. The romance had charming moments. My biggest distraction in the script was that everything was a bit too much over the top. Too much color commentary in the descriptions, too many odd ways of talking. It was very exhausting to read multiple characters with verbal affectations, especially during... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 06/29/2014
    A man moves to an isolated cabin to deal with having committed an evil act and is trapped by a snow storm. He deals with the dark passenger of his conscience in a slow and esoteric manner. The writing was decent and there was an eerie picture painted here. The structure is odd, with single sentence paragraphs with too much space in between. The atmosphere was well done but... read
  • A review of Track Changes
    by Cab Coola on 06/29/2014
    Hey John, I enjoyed this story immensely. It was the pro's and con's of the growth of technology. From the get go it had the vibe of '1984' like a prequel to the Orwell story. The more we create, the more we enslave ourselves in a way. Sure advances in technology helps but at the cost of freedom? You did a very good job debating both sides of the argument but more so for the... read