• A review of It's Just A Movie
    by serge rocco on 05/05/2014
    Great work. The editing and angles are eye-catching and there is a message behind it. You’ve got good acting from the man who plays the censor. I thought the idea of showing him on television the whole time was great. Sound effects work perfectly. Here is an example of a non-narrative piece that captivates the viewer and is entertaining.
  • A review of An Experienced Woman
    by telliott on 05/05/2014
    By references to TS in a short story? By posting a one-page story when it is supposed to be at least two? Did the download of this story not go through? I honestly don’t know where to begin. So I won’t. Give me a story to read and review. Give me more than a one-page joke about an experienced woman, which, by the way, is offensive. Show everyone that you are an experienced... read
  • A review of The Fix
    by micheleraedejean on 05/05/2014
    I am going to guess that people who don’t like baseball are going to tell you have too many details about baseball in this story but I don’t think so given that it is totally about that sport. I had two friends who were drafted by the pros and went straight from high school to the minors and screwed up their chance to make it all the way by having too much fun so I somewhat... read
  • A review of Veracity
    by Ccolebrook on 05/05/2014
    Right off the bat I like your style. Six, as in how many feet he'll put him under--is a line that made me laugh. However you intended it to come off, it made me laugh. I like your loose use of headers and subheaders to guide the scene. DEALER is a good example of that on page 5. Page 6 when dealer says 'I thought you worked sanitation' it comes off like a blatant set up... read
  • A review of Veracity
    by theauthor on 05/06/2014
    Fantastic concept, monumental. Now, can you pull it off for 90 minutes? You are a good writer with powerful characters. But you have to work at letting us see a bit more. We start a bit cold. I don't know Chase or his wife. I need to see some of his 'normal' to appreciate any changes he is going to make. As to relationships, the scene where Chase shoots Pena's tv and x-box... read
  • by InPost on 05/06/2014
    Excellent work. A very well produced, extremely well acted and very entertaining short film. This is definitely one of the more professional works on TS, with the minor exception of some lighting gaffs and blowouts. But other than that minor 'nit pick' this is a very very good piece of work.
  • A review of Redheads
    by micheleraedejean on 05/06/2014
    This story had an artsy air about it, maybe a little overly so. Nobody talks, or thinks, the way this is written. There are punctuation errors and other mistakes, like in this sentence: “I surprised myself admitting it” the word by should be in between myself and admitting. “Giggled like a demented goat?” I’ve never heard a goat giggle. “That’s as maybe,” doesn’t make sense... read
  • A review of When the Lotus Blooms
    by kamalkrishan on 05/06/2014
    It’s a good human interest story set in the madness and aftermath of war. The travails of a mother and daughter etc. But the writer can explore their relationship a bit more. He is successful in building the tension between them but then lets it fizzle out. May be the simplistic is intended by the writer as the despair that these two women and later Tien, a half caste to... read
  • A review of Relief
    by micheleraedejean on 05/06/2014
    This was a creepy and scary story and this is definitely the kind of guy I don’t want to own a gun. The story was easy to follow and understand. I only found two errors in this:” peaked around the corner” is the wrong peeked and “To say he was startle” should be startled. I guess we have all had nightmares but I have never had one quite like this one. This is the kind of guy... read
  • A review of RARA AVIS v. 3
    by theauthor on 05/06/2014
    This is a challenging script. I’m sorry but this did not work for me. It has the elements but lacks the substance needed. Nothing broke out of the average, I found one grammar error on page 63 “hit us”, not “his us”. The script calls for rare birds on screen, as well as several scenes with panthers, an attack by a gator, and a hurricane. This would require the set from the... read
  • A review of Coming Out
    by steven massaro on 05/06/2014
    I initially thought this may have been about some sort of coming out of the closet type thing. I think the title may have been "Going Out" seeing how this was mostly about being trapped due to a self confidence issue. The story was well written with lots of personal feelings stated and explained.You used lots of adjectives, the sentence structure was well thought out. All your... read
  • by gromano on 05/06/2014
    Having read your first draft, I can honestly say I preferred several things about the way you laid it out. The first twenty pages up until the kitchen scene were much better and made the connection between the book and the screenplay perfectly clear. But I felt like I missed something when we jump to that kitchen scene and find that Nick and Jen are already together. Honestly,... read
  • A review of REDtest
    by linusonline on 05/06/2014
    everything looks great and sounds great. my only concern is story and character because there doesn't seem like much of either. The actress shows that she can act, but isn't given a lot in terms of story or character, a credit to her as well. This to me seems more like a moment captured on film as opposed to a scene or a narrative, but it looks great and it shows potential... read
  • by linusonline on 05/06/2014
    I like the theme and points being presented here. The artist clearly has a point of view and it shines in this short. I felt like it was lacking more of a documentary feel. Ironically this is a short about human beings and yet it is lacking that human feel. If the piece was interspersed with some interviews of people and their points of view in society then that could have... read
  • A review of Awks
    by linusonline on 05/06/2014
    The concept is pretty funny and the side by side screen motif works well for the reveal of the punchline in the end. I was hoping for more interaction as the scene is painfully quick and I had to re-watch it a few times to get a good understanding of what the scene was exactly about as some of the dialogue (and I'm not British so the accents threw me a bit). Overall it has... read