Reviews

  • A review of Hearing The Meat
    by chessaol on 03/28/2014
    The story of the meat growing and growing on you is well done. Working in a meat plant has its problems the meat tends to get into your brain. Some can’t deal with it and for others it grows on them until they are one with the meat. The story was written in 100% narration and suffered because of it. I would have preferred that the worker had a friend that he was telling... read
  • A review of The Last Thanksgiving
    by chessaol on 03/28/2014
    The story is about a harried service technician for Sears just before the holiday. He has a service call at Mrs. Robins and he will never be the same afterward. The story was technically well written and most of the action goes on in his mind. He should have a co-tech to talk to so the story is dialogue driven instead of narrated. It would up the interest level and ease... read
  • A review of The Arrival
    by rexb99 on 03/28/2014
    Carla, I've got to be careful here because this is the kind of story I love. Stories that are all about people with lots of little side excursions that serve the main plot well. The kind where you don't pay attention to the page numbers, then suddenly it's over. The little mini stories are great: The candy bar story, all the arriving passenger profiles, Military debriefing... read
  • A review of Mojave
    by thunderwater on 03/28/2014
    This story conveys a nice sense of place. The characters are believable but rather stiff. In several places the author tells us what a character thinks or feels instead of demonstrating those thoughts or feelings through actions. I do feel that the flow of action is a bit too even and that the story would benefit from more extensive character development through the character’s... read
  • A review of Mojave
    by whiskeytango101 on 03/28/2014
    This story has a good concept and good structure. I live in the desert myself and it can be a terrifying and desolate place at times, especially if you get away from society. I think the story just needs a little bit of character development and more animated descriptions of Tom and Sherrie, perhaps some more revealing personality traits or quirks to help the reader sympathize... read
  • A review of Dwelling
    by rexb99 on 03/28/2014
    Merde! Wouldn't you know it. I just got finished posting a review for THE ARRIVAL by the same author. Inspired by that story, I was compelled to download and read DWELLING, her second submission. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Now I have been assigned DWELLING to review. What am I to do? I have to write 100 words in review of this second terrific submission. Carla Miles has a real... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 03/28/2014
    The world is coming to an end so a man decides to end his life? The author says the world is close to ending and that he is sad and in an unsatisfying job and these are his reasons for ending his life. The story is decently written but it didn’t present compelling reasons for ending one’s life in my opinion. I didn't understand what a Christmas hat was that you get out of... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by nlachmund on 03/28/2014
    Firstly I'll say that the subject matter that it is tackled is extremely confronting and it is wonderfully presented from the POV of the two girls. I think the main thing lacking is a sufficient ending. I felt that it wrapped up a little bit too quick and I thought the final paragraph could have been drawn out to two paragraphs. The dialogue is also a touch clunky. I'm not... read
  • A review of The Arrival
    by James Blackford on 03/28/2014
    As I read I looked for areas to critique, and it was hard to find. The only real thing that threw me was the narrative. At times it seemed like more of a “hey this is what happened and this is what I feel about it? Instead of a story format. Like… “You couldn’t trust anybody. But this one guy, his face was still so clear – the tank pushed his car off to the side of the road... read
  • by rexb99 on 03/29/2014
    As far as it goes, this is a decent sketch of a character and his situation that takes place in a very distant future. A strange time when travel between galaxies is common place for an elite class but the administrators processing their applications still use nineteenth century office implements. Charming. Something that Terry Gilliam might find amusing. (I would point out... read
  • A review of Hearing The Meat
    by James Blackford on 03/29/2014
    You have a talent for writing and your words show a natural ease for getting your intentions on the page. The mood of this story was thick and exactly what you had intended I think. You paint a picture of a solitary man, living with his thoughts in an odd situation that shape the way he views and feels about the world. The words used to describe this stay in the same hue as... read
  • A review of A cowboys life
    by rexb99 on 03/29/2014
    Warren, you've managed to draw an environment thick with atmosphere. I can almost smell the gator skins and the cow pens. 'course I've worked on a farm, so it's not too hard, with the help of your descriptions, to get my mind around the Rafter J. Very good. You have to be careful about tense; you have both past and present tense mixed throughout. Here's what I mean: 'I slid... read
  • by rexb99 on 03/29/2014
    Try to keep the identity of who is talking and who they are talking about. Here's what I mean: 'That’s right, the person who runs at the sight of a needle, taking out doctors and nurses in her path has written “get a tattoo” on my list,' In this sentence you would want to say "get a tattoo on her list' because, for the moment, you are quoting your character, as she refers... read
  • A review of Hearing The Meat
    by whiskeytango101 on 03/29/2014
    I was really looking forward to reading one of your stories, and I was not disappointed at all. HEARING THE MEAT is original, well-researched, intelligent, and ironic. I received my Masters degree from the School of Hard Knocks, and so I have very little knowledge of what is 'right' or 'wrong' with a story. I can only make assessments based on my level of enjoyment, and my... read
  • A review of The Arrival
    by micheleraedejean on 03/29/2014
    This was a nicely written tale about a man having a brush with love at first sight. The writing was good although at times it rambled off in different directions as if we were reading someone’s random thoughts about their life. The story was presented in a fairly believable way, although the airplane trip to win the girl seemed unlikely as well as the reason the girl said she... read
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