• A review of 'Voodoo Chile'
    by Narman Alin on 12/15/2013
    This assignment was a pleasure to read, having such an eerie vibe I tend to enjoy. After the driver's first comments I searched for the lyrics to Jimmi Hendrix's song, and that shed light only on the source of the man's words. The woman's contemplations were very well-written, and an eerie scene combined with good writing makes for a very good read. The ending was quite perplexing,... read
  • A review of Aswang Abomination
    by SNFaucher on 12/15/2013
    I loved the eerie folktale element of this story. However as a reader, I found myself starved to get immediately into your story. This is my humble opinion. Your tale has a lot of people, namely relatives, who list experiences that they had. You need to 'show the story' as opposed to 'telling the story'. One way of accomplishing this, is to use an active past tense as opposed... read
  • A review of These Things Happen
    by micheleraedejean on 12/15/2013
    The title indicates something will happen yet nothing does. The writer paints a good picture with his prose but nothing more. The synopsis says that the couple is on a vacation in Mexico trying to save their marriage. They donít do anything in that direction in this story, other than the protagonist talking about wanting to do something but he never does. We get to the end... read
  • A review of Aswang Abomination
    by Narman Alin on 12/16/2013
    The story made great use of Filipino folklore. The aswang concept is very interesting due to the traits of the creatures,which intrigue the writer all along the way. The writing was just how it should be in such a story, average, not going for the deep metaphors and vast interpretations. The collection of stories was remarkable. The one with the old lady that got the neck... read
  • A review of My Fairy Godmother
    by Narman Alin on 12/16/2013
    A brief and amusing story. In the beginning, I thought there would be some magic involved, but as soon as the lady made her request, the ending became predictable. Poor James wanted some money so bad, that he forgot what the boundaries of reality are, but many aspiring individuals tend to do that. The only loose end I could think of was the fact that the lady knew his name,... read
  • A review of 75 Cents
    by Narman Alin on 12/16/2013
    A simple tale of two brothers cruising along towards the comic-book store. The balloon part was very unexpected, having appeared out of thin air. It was just something to fill up their time so that they choose an alternative way to get to the store, ergo encountering the bullies. The writing was average, but it was enough to keep the reader intrigued, but not impressed.... read
  • by sergiev2 on 12/16/2013
    Great title. Great narrative. Too short to absorb. The fight is over almost before it begins. You create a great sense of atmosphere with your character - you give them depth and nuance his interaction with his men. But what comes of it? The title of your story is "The Boy and The Rest of His Life," and I've only seen a snapshot. Clearly this character has been thrust into... read
  • by cmcloughlin1218 on 12/16/2013
    This short story had me on pins and needles until the last period. I am simply amazed by your ability to string the reader along. I see a lot of different influences in the story, such as the film fallen and also the film Seven. The similarities do not overshadow your own intricate voice. Thank you very much for sharing this and I will be happy to read and review any other... read
  • A review of Yellow 6
    by ravensdragonfly on 12/16/2013
    Where to start? I will tell you first, a bit about how I review. I am not all that wonderful at grammar or spelling so I focus on how the story makes me feel, if it was a smooth read (flowed easily) and I ad a few possible suggestions for alternate wording. The poem on page 19 was very visual for me, well written and quite romantic - great job! The conversation between Arlen... read
  • A review of Another Chance
    by Karl Gorman on 12/17/2013
    My strongest suggestion is: make this more atmospheric. Use more colours and metaphors with the mind's eye visuals. And use the mind's ear and sense of touch as well. That will make the sense of suspense/mystery FAR stronger and much more of what you are after. (Especially with touch: the coldness in the air, the whirring in her head, etc.) The protagonist is willing to give... read
  • A review of The Keys
    by micheleraedejean on 12/17/2013
    I have known several people who got violent when they got drunk but I never blamed the alcohol. They were screwed up and violent without the alcohol but when they drank it allowed them the freedom of lowered inhibition to act on their violent tendencies. That is the kind of character we see in this piece. Just going to AA and giving up alcohol is not going to solve his problem... read
  • A review of Jam Drops
    by micheleraedejean on 12/17/2013
    If this is what it is like for some people to move into a new neighborhood it seems like quite a frightening experience. We moved a couple of times when I was a child and I donít remember me or my mother going through any experiences like this one. I donít know if this is a typical experience for anyone but I hope not. I remember enjoying meeting the new people in the neighborhood... read
  • A review of Das Leben Dieb
    by theauthor on 12/18/2013
    Very good, very interesting, very strange. So you were going for a nightmarish fairy tale here. The basic framework of the story is pretty solid. Some parts need to be trimmed down. When you describe things, you don't want to over describe. The enormous bird with gimongous wings with its giant shadow. Or Sara cooked the eggs masterfully. (only if she was a famous chef from... read
  • A review of Swirl
    by theauthor on 12/18/2013
    I like the themes that ran across the page. Sure, some may see that men don't always understand woman but as a writer, I knew right away that this was the tale of a female character who is still in a vague form of creation. I loved that part of it. You could have explored this even further, push the idea as far as you can go. Don't settle for cute and interesting. Maybe there... read
  • A review of Postcards from Greece
    by micheleraedejean on 12/18/2013
    This is a very beautifully written story. The descriptive writing is excellent. The affair was a little too tidy to be totally realistic, I feel like there should have been more hurdles to overcome. The author has captured the experience of being in a sailboat on the ocean wonderfully. The ending was a bit far fetched with the motorcycle jumping onto the ferry, it would have... read
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