• A review of Aswang Abomination
    by RossRT on 05/20/2014
    So to start off, I will say your interest in the idea of aswangs comes across very clearly, which is a positive. A writer should always be interested and/or passionate in what they are writing. But a good story is more than just a good idea, and there is definitely work that needs to be done in supporting the concept. The dialogue is a noticeable area that needs focusing... read
  • by sergiev2 on 05/21/2014
    You had a wonderful narrative here. I think you did a good job at showing the causality of living as a vampire. However, you do not have a story that ties everything together. Isabella starts out disparaging the fact that she kills. Then she disparages the fact that there is publicity for her work. Is her objective to simply exist, or exist as a moral creature? What am I going... read
  • A review of Our Fall
    by tishanddavid on 05/21/2014
    Im not to sure at what point its okay to devalue great human atrocities like mass genocide. Im thinking theres probably NEVER good time. This was meant to mislead the reader in a cleaver way, and if you were not making light of the Holocaust, I might have said that this got me in a good way. But- much like sour apples, this left a bad taste in my mouth. As far as the actual... read
  • by tishanddavid on 05/21/2014
    Hello Steven. Before we move ahead Im going to admit that when I was a kid of about 13 I was in a terrible horse accident. I was thrown from a quarter horse while trying my best to learn to ride English style.I broke 4 ribs and my arm, as well as suffered a severe concussion where I was out for about 6 hours. While I was unconscious, I believed I was in a tower and I climbed... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 05/21/2014
    The writing was clean and the story easy to follow even if it was surreal. I have a couple dogs that are slowing down on their zig-zagging as well and there is squirrel that eats their dog food and stares in the house as he does it and he is definitely mocking the dogs. The descriptions were nicely done. Another “out of body” experience for you, only this one is a ghost story... read
  • A review of Road Kill
    by tishanddavid on 05/21/2014
    Hey Richard, pretty good horror story overall. I'm generally a huge fan of the genre.Pretty sure this is the first of anything of yours Ive read here on TS. Glad I did though. Its not amazing, I think there's a couple of things you could do in a reedit that could make this pretty good. First- you have a serious issue with the redundancy of using his name - Noah, a lot. I would... read
  • by telliott on 05/21/2014
    I absolutely got into this story. A female protag who kicks butt and has a heart. Hats off to the writer. When can we expect a screenplay or novel? The movie? I have noticed that other Jackie installments exist. I know it’s just me but I would like to see Jackie’s name changed to JACKIE FAB. Or Jacquie Fabb. Yes, I know I’m thinking about the film JACKIE BROWN (also... read
  • A review of THRONE OF THE DAMNED
    by micheleraedejean on 05/22/2014
    This story was very detailed but it lacked in excitement the way it was told in an essay style. Some dialogue with another character would help it out. Show us some character interaction, instead of just telling the reader the whole story. You need to draw the reader into the story and make it come to life instead of just narrating the story like you are writing in a journal... read
  • by James Moriarty on 05/23/2014
    The writer reports his terrible experience of a major automobile accident that was not his fault. I would say, "Thank god for his survival." But I know it was his basic good health, the work of the EMTs, the ER/Trauma surgical team, and continuing support by medical personnel who spend their lives treating injured patients. Good writing: "Prayer is talking to God, meditation... read
  • by littlebluejane on 05/24/2014
    I think this story has some potential and I think I understood the gist of it, but in all honesty, the formatting was a huge distraction for me. There was a lot of double and triple spacing, inconsistent indentations for new paragraphs. It made it hard for me to focus in on what was happening between the farmer and the kids who were harrassing him. I did, however, like the... read
  • A review of The Beautiful People
    by micheleraedejean on 05/24/2014
    The story was told in a believable style like a crazy person might tell the tale. But the ending was too blunt and sounded far-fetched the way it was offered. If the nurse from the nuthouse found this girl wouldn’t she just take her back to the asylum? How did the press get involved? She finds graves for dead patients and then it tells us the ending when up until then it showed... read
  • A review of Monsters In The House
    by Cab Coola on 05/24/2014
    I enjoyed this story. You shed light on a monster that isn't recognized much. And that's the mother who allowed this too take place. Most stories of this sort seem to single out the man as the monster which he is. But the fact that the mother let this happen without so much as a single word was what was really eerie. The concept and story was fantastic. The structure could... read
  • A review of Somus
    by tishanddavid on 05/25/2014
    Hi Serge, first of yours I've read. I know Dave really enjoyed one of your short stories an went on an on about how great he thought you were. Davids taste an mine vary, but he wasn't wrong, on this one. I enjoyed this as well, a lot of good moments here. I think you have some over usage of the word AND. (My rule of thumb is never start a sentence with the word BECAUSE or... read
  • by micheleraedejean on 05/25/2014
    I wondered why religion and paranormal came together in the log line and I guess it’s because the author finds a correlation between the two and I have to admit there are some paranormal events that occur in the bible. This is an unusual and imaginative story but it is unevenly presented. The obvious reasons to be called Dick are: that your name is Richard, you are a private... read
  • A review of DEATH ALWAYS WINS
    by tishanddavid on 05/25/2014
    Hello, I think this is the first of yours Ive read here so far. It was pretty good for what you gave us. Issue at hand is your a great writer, clean and crisp ( note - a lot of typos and grammar issues to fix in an edit)but, over all good writing. I liked the speed that it moved, dialogue was good for the era. However, at some point you just stopped caring if we set this down... read
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