I liked the tense action leading up to the theft, the threats and then the escape scenes. The premise is good and one we need to think about. I like movies where human frailty is the cause of the security risk and the drunk guard who gets over taken.

Title Reviewed: The Torch
Reviewed by: shawnrohrbach

Well, this clinches it. I definitely don't relate to British "humour" or humor or whatever. Comes from living across the pond/centuries, I guess.

Title Reviewed: Death on the Number 12 Bus
Reviewed by: MarcTwine

This was a cool story, confidently written, that got pretty epic in scale the more it developed. I would have liked the assassins to be introduced earlier, a couple of failed attempts to get him, him moving from location to location, hard to track down…how much will he get away with before they finally catch them, if they ever catch him? I think you could lose the paragraph "Melissa couldn’t understand him…And she was gone." since I already got the sense the relationship was over due to his computer-love in the previous paragraph.

Title Reviewed: Digital Craps
Reviewed by: dunphoid

The premise of the story is good; a failed marriage where there was genuine love anyway. That works for me. My problem is with some of the writing. I hate to harp on a cliche, but showing is better than telling.

Title Reviewed: Smothered
Reviewed by: shawnrohrbach

I was drawn to your screenplay because of some of the friends I've acquired over the years, including a former member of Special Branch (and MI-5) and a kid who got mixed up with the I.R.A. Having some familiarity with the subject matter, I'd say you're in an environment of rich dramatic possibilities and have focused properly on one of the most interesting, and dramatically compelling, aspects of that struggle: MI-5 not protecting lower level informants if that becomes necessary to protect a higher level informant. The choice of a subplot also goes to the heart of the matter. A clean cop in Belfast during the Troubles would have had a hard time of it.

Title Reviewed: BOGLAND
Reviewed by: Cato

The title doesn’t make me think of Mexican traditions like the action in the story speaks to Mexican stereotypes. The laborers with a heavy accent find treasure that ruins their lives. I think of the wishing well where the lucky victim gets a magic penny that when taken from the pocket magically replaces itself only to jinx the lucky wishing well winner.

Title Reviewed: Mexican Showdown
Reviewed by: chessaol

The Trilord is obsessed with time travel and buys a new time ship. Then only 23 pages later he cranks it for a test-drive…. The writing is alternately detailed and plain with stilted use of the long words to try to impress.

Title Reviewed: The Time Travelling TriLord
Reviewed by: chessaol

I saw many films in triggerstreet, but probably this is one of the most surprising, astonishing, mind blowing… I don’t know. It’s some kind of horror B-movie, starring by muppets who snort cocaine, and are followed by the “Chotacabras”, who looks like the Chucky’s cousin. At the end I have to say that I enjoyed the film, the absurd moments, the plot, the frights, I like this kind of B-movies.

Title Reviewed: Roomies: Confronting Fear
Reviewed by: JITofe

I liked this a lot. Short stories should be short and this one certainly justifies the title. I also liked the concept, you took something that frustrates all mankind and ran with it beautifully.

Title Reviewed: Basket of Wires
Reviewed by: writermorris

One of the mistakes a lot of writers on Trigger Street make is to go for the 'BIG' idea or a out of the blue twist to impress and awe other writers, but others like yourself take the other more subtle approach and tell a realistic story with no bombast or trumpets, just good old fashioned story telling done deceptively well. I liked this a lot, I could taste those eggs, and you built a wonderfully detailed picture of one boys life. The concept was good, very well written and executed and all the better for showing that sometimes 'Less is better' - Great well told story.

Title Reviewed: Second Wind
Reviewed by: writermorris

Hey Steph, once again a pleasure to read one of your scripts. I have a feeling that this one hasn't been through as many rounds as some of your other ones, but I think that when it does it has the potential to be a gem. I'm just gonna jot my notes as I had them...

Title Reviewed: Missed The Boat
Reviewed by: johnnyb2124

There is something very eerie to me that after reviewing 666 scripts on this site, my next one is titled Number of the Beast. I'm watching my step after this one as I'm a little on edge. All kidding aside, I believe this is my second go round on this script and although I can't really remember what's changed, I still have very similar feelings.

Title Reviewed: NUMBER OF THE BEAST
Reviewed by: jayelveejr

I'd gone nearly three days without reviewing one of your stories. I knew it was too good to last. ( Joke ) All that said, this is by far, for me, your best story.

Title Reviewed: Digital Craps
Reviewed by: writermorris

I believe I've read a previous draft of this a few months ago. While I loved the concept of a terrorist who has actually been involved with big moments in history I still feel like there needs to be a stronger protagonist. Asiah feels so much like a villain and a great one in that, but there's very little counterpoint to him.

Title Reviewed: NUMBER OF THE BEAST
Reviewed by: ajstewart64

First, I want to comment on what grabbed me right away: your screenwriting. Like anything else it takes time and work to learn the craft, and may I say, your writing is excellent. It quickly evokes clear images in the mind of the reader.

Title Reviewed: Angels (rev)
Reviewed by: Eric Fredrickson

Too many time jumps in the beginning. The story doesn't feel grounded and the opening scenes don't seem relevant to the story. Too much exposition in the dialogue.

Title Reviewed: Theory Of Everything
Reviewed by: ajstewart64

I truly enjoyed 'Angels' in its entirety. The overall structure and plot points were well placed and flow was great throughout. I am new to Screenplays, but as far as I am concerned it was great.

Title Reviewed: Angels (rev)
Reviewed by: CalebLCain

Nice slick writing and good dialogue that I could clearly imagine being said. The smugness of the narrator from start to finish was fun. I saw faint flashes of 'The Dude' from The Big Lebowski in my mind as I read -- just this laid back guy in an environment which seems alien to him, who hardly ever gets ruffled.

Title Reviewed: Smarter Than A Smartphone
Reviewed by: dunphoid

Perhaps this was the first part with other parts to follow? I wish the girls were dressed in accordance with the fashions of that era, and the men too. It is achievable.

Title Reviewed: 1936 Misstrauische Begegnungen
Reviewed by: Melanie Cochrane Fallon

The way the dialogue is written here, at no time did any of the characters speak the way I'd except any human being should. The speech is too clean, too perfect, too structured, too direct, lacking grammatical flaws. Children say things I'm pretty sure we didn't say as kids, and the older characters directly spell out obvious things without a hint of personality (little sarcasm goes a long way in making a character feel real) and their inner feelings.

Title Reviewed: Pachelbel
Reviewed by: DrunkenCinemaMaster