I liked the script a lot. I thought the script was well written. A solid story that made me ask for more.
Starting from the ending, I thought it was very dramatic and nerve wrecking (very good thing for me.) When I saw the word "The End" I was pissed because I wanted MORE. I wanted to know what Tayah meant by "He'll be back."
The beginning of the story was very interesting and got me hooked for awhile. The whole teacher thing was really nice touch, it gave the character a more important meaning. I just wish you did more with that.
The relationship between Sarah and Jacob was very solid. One of the best I've read in a screenplay. It was well worked throughout the story and it did have an affect on me every time it changed.
My only problem was the other characters. Tayah was my main concern. I got the idea that he was a teacher and Jacob's bestfriend. I assumed. I didn't get that across from the story that much. You should have maybe incorporated Tayah in Jacob's research. A more in depth dialogue, or even a scene dedicated to that purpose. That would have made a bigger difference for Tayah's role. I did like when Jacob turns to Tayah for help. He made him have a purpose in the story.
His sister Olive and boyfriend Darren were minimal to the development of the story. I felt that the only reason they were in this story was to have Jacob stay while he couldn't go home. It was nice knowing that Jacob had a sister, but they had minimal importance.
Overall, I think the script is great. GREAT JOB!
Other Reviews by FlipThis1 13
A review of My Dad's a Hitmanby FlipThis1 on 11/16/2010First of all. Congratulations on an incredible story! I've read a lot of scripts before and I must say this is the most fully developed, interesting, and incredible story I have read in a long time. I absolutely love Hyena and Brad as characters. Very developed and great personalities. It's not often that I can relate to characters in scripts but by reading your character... read
A review of In the Vicinity of Confusionby FlipThis1 on 01/04/2010That was a piece of art hahaha. That was funny and at the same time interesting. I don't know if it was all true, but i did enjoy it a lot. The only problem i see with this short is that you won't be able to submit to a film festival without getting permission to use all that footage you "borrowed." Other than that, it was very entertaining. Great job and keep doing them... read
A review of Victim8by FlipThis1 on 08/23/2009First of all, good job in finishing the screenplay. Takes time and patience to finish a 100 page story. I just have to say, that intro was amazing!!!! I was glued to my screen, reading, and slightly moving toward the screen. It was very thrilling and so interesting. One of the best intros I've read. Same thing with the end of the story. Not as much as the intro, but very... read