Other Reviews by eaklee 24

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  Walk, don't Run!
  A review of Walking Through Fields With Strangers
  by eaklee on 09/20/2007
  Wow. Interesting...and disturbing. What first turns out to be a story about a man and the downward spiral of his marriage then becomes a search for a lost girl then...BAM. I'm not sure what to make of the story except that it did leave me wanting more. I see this being a small part of a much larger story/novel. I'd love to see more of the marriage that's become merely comfortable... Wow. Interesting...and disturbing.
  
  What first turns out to be a story about a man and the downward spiral of his marriage then becomes a search for a lost girl then...BAM.
  
  I'm not sure what to make of the story except that it did leave me wanting more. I see this being a small part of a much larger story/novel. I'd love to see more of the marriage that's become merely comfortable now...and what the heck is going on in the world in which these people live.
  
  The descriptions are great. The author has a great grasp of writing. I loved the continous use of "poking" by the main character's wife and would love to see this continued throughout.
  
  My only suggestion is...to keep going! Make this a much longer piece and answer all our unanswered questions! read
• 
  Creepy!
  A review of Sam, Roscoe & Her
  by eaklee on 09/12/2007
  "Sam, Roscoe, and Her" was a fantastic concept and story. It was well-written and had great character development. The best thing about it was that when I finished, I didn't realize how much I had read so quickly and the ending made me want more! Now that's the sign of a good writer/story-teller. The story started off with an interesting (and unique) background into Sam's... "Sam, Roscoe, and Her" was a fantastic concept and story. It was well-written and had great character development. The best thing about it was that when I finished, I didn't realize how much I had read so quickly and the ending made me want more! Now that's the sign of a good writer/story-teller.
  
  The story started off with an interesting (and unique) background into Sam's personality/upbringing, and continued with a great sense of character development throughout. The author made me really love this character and want to follow him through his day, as humdrum as it might appear to an outsider.
  
  The descriptions throughout were well-planned and very captivating, beginning with Sam making coffee in the morning. We learned an immense amount about Sam just in his brewing of coffee one morning.
  
  Lastly, I loved the tenseness throughout the story. There was always a sense of foreboding that kept pulling me quickly through it.
  
  A fantastic piece of work! I'd love to see a much longer work of fiction incorporating the characters and this story! read
• 
  Tepid
  A review of Hot Pink (Revised)
  by eaklee on 09/11/2007
  "Hot Pink" is the story of a druggee and a prostitute. I liked the overall concept, but I think the story needs some work. I liked that the author uses conversational, fragmented sentences, as if the narrator is walking down the street with you, telling you this story. The descriptions are very good, too -- very visual. My suggestions would be: 1) This should be the... "Hot Pink" is the story of a druggee and a prostitute. I liked the overall concept, but I think the story needs some work. I liked that the author uses conversational, fragmented sentences, as if the narrator is walking down the street with you, telling you this story. The descriptions are very good, too -- very visual.
  
  My suggestions would be:
  
  1) This should be the opening line: "Hot Pink is my favorite prostitute that I'll never be able to stick my dick in." To me, this sentence that doesn't appear until the end of page 2, would immediately pique my curiosity and draw me in. Also, it sets the mood for the entire story.
  
  2) Change title of short story to "In Case of Emergency" and work on that angle a bit more, using references to drugs, Hot Pink, etc.
  
  3) I would lose the multitude of references to the Dallol Depression. I had never heard of it before until this story, and using it 4 times throughout was just overkill.
  
  4) Why exactly won't Hot Pink have sex with Laird? She is a hooker, right? That's how she makes her money?
  
  5) I'm not buying that guys who hire prostitutes "just want love." Guys are guys. They want sex. Period.
  
  6) The spelling and grammar was good overall, but it could use some touch-ups.
  
  I hope these suggestions help. I don't want to sound critical; just offering my thoughts on ways to possibly improve! read