Other Reviews by JLVDP 28

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  A poem
  A review of one day
  by JLVDP on 12/10/2011
  This is a very nice and/but very short audiovisual piece. I write 'but' because it feels like an intro in the end. The end could be the starting point of a true story, not just the evocation of a moment as One Day is. I let myself imagine the difficulties the protagonists can encounter by trying to meet again. Because I believe we want them to meet again. The film is touching,... This is a very nice and/but very short audiovisual piece. I write 'but' because it feels like an intro in the end. The end could be the starting point of a true story, not just the evocation of a moment as One Day is. I let myself imagine the difficulties the protagonists can encounter by trying to meet again. Because I believe we want them to meet again. The film is touching, the tone of the voice-over works well even though I would prefer to see more actual actions and dialogue.
  
  The casual visuals lack too much of a cinematopgraphic feel to make this touching evocation visually interesting. I am not saying to lose completely the handicam feel, as it fits with the 'evocation of a moment in life'-style.
  
  The film is like a poem, an evocation but not the telling of a full story.
  
  It feels like there can be a lot more to it, very much like what happens to the characters' relationship. read
• 
  Shooting in your own foot
  A review of Neggy Meets Sammy
  by JLVDP on 12/09/2011
  I like the overall message of this piece. But I am less comfortable with the way it is put together. First, the non-stop voice over makes it difficult to get in the story. The redundancy in the text can be interesting but here, combined with the relatively lowly interesting visuals, it makes the whole short painful to go through. The redundancy is of course related to the theme... I like the overall message of this piece. But I am less comfortable with the way it is put together. First, the non-stop voice over makes it difficult to get in the story. The redundancy in the text can be interesting but here, combined with the relatively lowly interesting visuals, it makes the whole short painful to go through. The redundancy is of course related to the theme of the story. One can feel a lot of thought behind this story. But it is difficult to make a story about boredom and make it pleasing, especially if you cover sound by a non-stop, repetitive voice-over and at the same time translate boredom with on-purpose rather dull visuals.
  
  The message could have been conveyed through more actions, more visuals, and let the viewer make his own way into the story. read
• 
  Atmosfear ?
  A review of The Doll (2nd Draft)
  by JLVDP on 12/09/2011
  I like this type of very short stories built around a classic horror theme. I think this story can become more interesting with more work on both characters and atmosphere. I believe that with a more thoughtful choice of words, the amosphere can be made more interesting. The story needn't be much longer but needs reworking. That takes time and many attempts. At this time the... I like this type of very short stories built around a classic horror theme. I think this story can become more interesting with more work on both characters and atmosphere. I believe that with a more thoughtful choice of words, the amosphere can be made more interesting. The story needn't be much longer but needs reworking. That takes time and many attempts. At this time the story is still rough and obvious. The moment the evil comes could be delivered less obviously. The character of the girl needs work so that the reader can care more for her. At the moment she witnesses the story and allows us to see it through her eyes but we don't get to actually feel for her.
  
  More work needed, but this story will work. read