I like this type of very short stories built around a classic horror theme. I think this story can become more interesting with more work on both characters and atmosphere. I believe that with a more thoughtful choice of words, the amosphere can be made more interesting. The story needn't be much longer but needs reworking. That takes time and many attempts. At this time the story is still rough and obvious. The moment the evil comes could be delivered less obviously. The character of the girl needs work so that the reader can care more for her. At the moment she witnesses the story and allows us to see it through her eyes but we don't get to actually feel for her.
More work needed, but this story will work.
Review of: The Doll (2nd Draft)
reviewed by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 12/09/2011
Other Reviews by **DELETED ACCOUNT** 3429
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