At the beginning I found the jumps from time period to time period a little chaotic and annoying. Once I got into the screenplay however the transitions became smoother. The script is well written. I found the dialogue a little stilted in places but overall not too bad.
The scenes of Tom and Neil in prison together seemed a little improbable, at least to me. Here is this violent felon opening himself up to an absolute stranger, probably the only way he'll get his misery off his chest. I was waiting the whole time for Neil to start wailing on Tom and was surprised that it didn't happen.
I'd also like to point out that in the prison scenes Neil does inform Tom about the sticks. If Tom remembers Neil from this small encounter, why not the gist of their conversation? It's obvious Neil's brother died a horrendous death, I'd think details of that would stick in Tom's mind.
And where did Neil get the idea Tom is actually David? What proof did he have? I must've missed the part when he had a reason to come knocking on Tom's door. Plus at the end we never really find out if Tom IS David. That was a little disappointing. It's all conjecture.
Otherwise I thought the script was well written and it did hold my interest all the way through. A definite good effort. I'd like to read more from this writer.
Other Reviews by pez999@mac.com 18
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A review of An Irresistible Forceby pez999@mac.com on 02/28/2013(This review contains spoiler alerts!) I like this screenplay. The characters were real although Haley was a little on the annoying/tease side ( at least for my tastes). Paul was very well done. I like the fact he lost interest in life after his wife died and became a pain in the ass at work, but at the same time was in therapy. This shows he was/is aware of his condition... read
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A review of Goblin Marketby pez999@mac.com on 01/01/2013While I did think the screenplay was a good read I was a little confused where it was going. I'm not sure if it's a love story, a story of magic and/or a horror story. I seemed a little combination of all three. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I think it's trying to be too many things at once. It was well written structurally but there were some spelling errors. Not really... read
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A review of Rednecks Vs Space-Zombies revisedby pez999@mac.com on 11/20/2012For the most part I liked this screenplay. It was well constructed in both form and structure. It was a little predictable in places and sort of followed the "Zombie Formula". I knew Jefferson would end up staying and be taking care of Tom and Mary. The whole Daisy relationship was a little predictable also. You practically gave it away when she talked about her long standing... read