Review of: BEER TRAIN (rev 1) 

reviewed by lemuel2 on 08/04/2009
Credited Review
If this screenplay proves anything, it's that if your writing skills are sharp enough, you can literally write a story about anything and make it work! I mean let's synopsis this thing for a second. A group of small town friends while inebriated, steal a crap load of beer. Home land security now comes to town and draws the (hilarious) conclusion that it was a move by a terrorist faction to fund their cause.

Let's think about that for a second...

This is a story about BEER!

I really liked it. It didn't take itself too seriously. The characters felt real. The dialogue was clear and the scenes flowed like water. A mark of a good story to me is always it's ability to keep you from snoring on the next page and I certainly did not snooze once during my read of this work. I was entertained throughout.

As far as nitpicks go, I thought you were setting up Danny's loyalty for his friends to be testing much more than it was. His boss wanted him to distance himself from his boys. His girl wanted him to distance himself from them as well. I thought this was going to lead him to a point where he may or may not sell Floyd and the rest out to the agents.

Early in the story you seemed to establish that there was a bit of bitterness between Floyd and his baby bro that went just a tad beyond your usual sibling rivalry. I'm not sure if that sub-story was resolved, if it was intended to be a sub-story at all, that is.

So, yeah. That's about it. This certainly isn't intended to be most epic of stories, which is fine, and does well what it set out to do. I can easily see myself popping it in the ol' DVD player then cracking myself a cold can of, well...I think you know. Good work!

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