I honestly don't think I can say anything that will improve this short story.
It was polluted with too much dialogue, but my criticism is diluted and unimportant as this is acknowledged in the story itself. That was my only gripe. Too much dialogue is boring and tedious.
However, I loved this short story. It's funny, edgy and clever. The notes were a particular source of amusement.
It's nice to read something a little different, that doesn't take itself so seriously.
Well done. I wish I could offer some improvements, but there are none that I can think of.
Review of: Annotated Edition
reviewed by danjama on 04/28/2010
Other Reviews by danjama 23
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A review of Selling the Voidby danjama on 06/18/2010That stands for, you're a good film-maker. I really enjoyed this short film. The concept is fresh, yet ludicrous, and offers maximum comedy value. The film had a very genuine documentary feel to it; the quick-zoom to catch Scotty's reactions, for example. The soundtrack went very well with it, and the sound quality was excellent. The whole piece was technically sound. I... read