I really struggled to see the point of your short story. There is nothing wrong with it, however, it was mundane reading four pages of someone’s inter-thoughts while at church. The character's own demons; his perspective on life and that of the other church goers attending mass. We all have these thoughts. In church, work, or whatever and there was nothing juicy about it.
I know your work is dear and close to your heart, but it did not have any entertainment value with me. The fact, that the main character hates germs, did not lent any uniqueness to him, however, you piece is well-written. The synopsis implies it is eight pages long, when it is only four. Lastly, I would put it is written by on the first page and the word count if you chose to do a rewrite. All the best with you writing.
Review of: Churchly Challenges
reviewed by covofdark on 03/25/2012
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