I really struggled to see the point of your short story. There is nothing wrong with it, however, it was mundane reading four pages of someone’s inter-thoughts while at church. The character's own demons; his perspective on life and that of the other church goers attending mass. We all have these thoughts. In church, work, or whatever and there was nothing juicy about it.
I know your work is dear and close to your heart, but it did not have any entertainment value with me. The fact, that the main character hates germs, did not lent any uniqueness to him, however, you piece is well-written. The synopsis implies it is eight pages long, when it is only four. Lastly, I would put it is written by on the first page and the word count if you chose to do a rewrite. All the best with you writing.
Review of: Churchly Challenges
reviewed by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 03/25/2012
Other Reviews by **DELETED ACCOUNT** 3429
A review of Totally To The Maxby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/25/2014After FADE IN: what does "SUBURBS, NORTHEAST USA, MID 80s, END OF SUMMER" mean? If the writer intends on that text being seen on the screen then it needs to be preceded with SUPER: "SUBURBS, NORTHEAST... Page 1. There is an extra space between Mamie's dialogue and the parenthetical (to Allison). Putting this reader on guard for more problems. An experienced reader is jarred... read
A review of Reaping Profitby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/24/2014'Reaping Profit' was a very interesting take on the subject of life/death & heaven/hell with an absurdist/comical approach and some hilarious situations. That being said, there were some things I had difficulty with, along with some structural issues that made this a difficult read for me. As far as the characters, the only one I really was concerned with was Jack. Death and... read
A review of P.A.M.by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 07/15/2014P.A.M is an entertaining, high-octane, fast moving zombie picture. I read this in one sitting and it was overall an enjoyable read. I’ll try and talk high level and hopefully some of this will be helpful. Your opening was untraditional as far as the zombie movies I have seen. Normally we get that opening of 10 or more pages/minutes where all is fine and dandy before the world... read