Frosty is clever, well-written and cute.
I think you have a challenging line to toe: the humor seems like it would appeal most to 12 year olds, because of the slapstick, characters and puns, but then the movie might have to be sanitized a little for their parents. Anyway, it's not my place to worry about target demographics and marketing.
As a script, I think it definitely works. It's enjoyable to read. I loved the narration and the protagonists' sad-sack shtick.
Here are a couple minor nitpicks:
-Isn't "prick" a modern idiom?
-I love the witty repartee with the call girl in the police station. Which is why the bleeped expletives sort of ruin the atmosphere. Bleeping takes us out of the era.
-This is reading a lot like a kids' movie - in which case the hooker may be a no-go.
-Did they have heat packs in "the good old days?
-I'd put Cisco and Carmine at more risk throughout the script. The heat is on in the last act, but I'd try to put them in more danger from the get-go.
Overall, good job!
Review of: Who Iced Frosty V.2
reviewed by Michael Keller on 11/29/2010
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