Hi Nick, Good to read your work again. Void Touchers is a quick fifty page read. Very well written, the prose flows like a river.
And I have to admit that you had me fooled. I was happily reading away – this is pre page 40 you understand – enjoying the experience, but there was a little warning light flashing at the back of my mind. There were two triggers for that warning light:
1. I wanted to know the reason why so many of the crew came down with the Void Hysteria at the same time.
2. I kept thinking wouldn’t it be more dramatic if the Doc came down with Void Hysteria first.
Then I reach page 40. Three words: Clever Texan ******* (Note from the editor – I had to edit out that third word. Mike – so the guy had you fooled get over it.)
I’m struggling to give you any constructive areas for improvement.
On my first read through I was in two minds about the opening. I enjoyed it, but on the other hand I thought that it might be too many characters introduced too quickly. After much deliberation, I think it works. If no other reviewers pick up on it, keep it the way it is.
It would have been good to have a bit more information about the Adriatic’s mission. However, we’re talking about a story that hits the TS short story page count limit, so I have a sneaky suspicion that there could be a slightly longer version out there.
I’m not quite sure about the final line. I would prefer it to end on, “There was the darkest grin.”
I presume you’re aware of the double entendre in the following line: “Lost his ass to a pair of queens.” (My sense of humour took hold at this point, so after I calmed down I started reading again.)
How minor are the points above? Shortly after posting this review I’ll be adding Void Touchers to my favourites. Hey, association with greatness never hurt anyone.
I hope 2012 is good to you. Take care and good luck – Mike.
Review of: Void Touchers
reviewed by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 01/01/2012
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