Hi Nick, Good to read your work again. Void Touchers is a quick fifty page read. Very well written, the prose flows like a river.
And I have to admit that you had me fooled. I was happily reading away Ė this is pre page 40 you understand Ė enjoying the experience, but there was a little warning light flashing at the back of my mind. There were two triggers for that warning light:
1. I wanted to know the reason why so many of the crew came down with the Void Hysteria at the same time.
2. I kept thinking wouldnít it be more dramatic if the Doc came down with Void Hysteria first.
Then I reach page 40. Three words: Clever Texan ******* (Note from the editor Ė I had to edit out that third word. Mike Ė so the guy had you fooled get over it.)
Iím struggling to give you any constructive areas for improvement.
On my first read through I was in two minds about the opening. I enjoyed it, but on the other hand I thought that it might be too many characters introduced too quickly. After much deliberation, I think it works. If no other reviewers pick up on it, keep it the way it is.
It would have been good to have a bit more information about the Adriaticís mission. However, weíre talking about a story that hits the TS short story page count limit, so I have a sneaky suspicion that there could be a slightly longer version out there.
Iím not quite sure about the final line. I would prefer it to end on, ďThere was the darkest grin.Ē
I presume youíre aware of the double entendre in the following line: ďLost his ass to a pair of queens.Ē (My sense of humour took hold at this point, so after I calmed down I started reading again.)
How minor are the points above? Shortly after posting this review Iíll be adding Void Touchers to my favourites. Hey, association with greatness never hurt anyone.
I hope 2012 is good to you. Take care and good luck Ė Mike.
Review of: Void Touchers
reviewed by Mike Wolfson on 01/01/2012
Other Reviews by Mike Wolfson 211
A review of Room Serviceby Mike Wolfson on 04/18/2013Hi Dan, I havenít got much to say about Room Service as I really enjoyed the read. You left me with a smile on my face. I didnít see the twist coming. Here are my reading notes all minor points: p.1 Still, silent, and impersonal. The sheets, still made, were a little ruffled from where someone had been sitting. Nothing wrong with the above but you use Ďstillí twice in quick... read
A review of Mrs Merrywinter & the Unexpected Visitorby Mike Wolfson on 04/17/2013Hi Dan, Iím pretty sure that I owe you more favours than you owe me, so hereís the first of two free will reviews. Iíve reviewed the TS version of Mrs. Merrywinter. It was too difficult to get to my copy of Firewords due to a leaking boiler. Donít worry itís safe and dry. I just physically couldnít get to it. The beauty of a free will review is that Iíve got a bit more freedom... read
A review of A Walk In The Darkby Mike Wolfson on 04/15/2013Hi Marc, I thought that A Walk in The Dark was generally a well written piece. Vampires are very popular at the moment which is kind of a double edged sword. On one hand the popularity of the subject matter means thereís a market, which is a good thing. On the other hand with there being so much vampire material out there any writer needs to have something special or unique... read