Review of: Date to Die. 

reviewed by bigheadx on 06/14/2011
Credited Review
bigheadx
dead man walking Credited Review
Thanks for the opportunity to read this amusing short story. You have done a lot with an interesting, if familiar, concept, but a variety of punctuation and formatting errors slowed the read down quite a bit.

Composed in a way that suggested its inclusion in some magazine's monthly humor column, this meant character development was kept to a minimum. Unfortunately, there was also very little thematic development here, so the author's world-view remains unknown. Perhaps if readers knew more about the character they would better understand (and enjoy) how he decides to respond to the Devil's little experiment.

Good luck!

TYPOS - WORD CHOICE - GRAMMAR - [suggestions]

there annual board - their annual board [other errors like this elsewhere]

Cold hard facts & a theory. - Cold hard facts and a theory.

Unfortunately terminally ill people don’t - Unfortunately, terminally ill people don’t

playboy playmates - Playboy Playmates

I.V drips that wont allow them - I.V drips that won't allow them

throat to hold em back - throat to hold 'em back

Christmas present they fucking chose me. - Christmas present, they fucking chose me.

Your right, that’s not important - You're right, that’s not important

Knowing your fates a powerful burden. - Knowing your fate's a powerful burden.

Funny thing, once I plummeted to the earth - [awkward sentence, read aloud and see why]

In fact I just got up standing in the person shaped crater - In fact, I just got up standing in the person-shaped crater

Undeterred I bought a shotgun - Undeterred, I bought a shotgun [other examples of this, but you get the idea]

Nothing, zilge, nada. - Nothing, zilch, nada.

l I’d stood in front off just minute’s earlier - l I’d stood in front off just minutes earlier [but funny!]

You see I was given a date to die - You see, I was given a date to die

Your right, that’s not important - You're right, that’s not important

run over, poisoned, hell even blown - run over, poisoned -- hell, even blown

“I’d just like to thank you” I say gratefully “Thanks to your experiment I - “I’d just like to thank you,” I say gratefully. “Thanks to your experiment I

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