Review of: Glimmers of Darkness -- Revised, yet again
reviewed by Tybeau on 01/29/2005
The first thing I learned about writing screenplays was that one must create a movie in the mind of the reader. I'm sorry to say you did not create one in my mind. You "projected" a story and dialogue in my head, but not a movie. Perhaps that's because you seem afraid of or uninterested in descriptions of the characters, their surroundings, their actions and what is happening to them. I got the feeling you were in a hurry when writing this script and only had time to devote to the dialogue. I was also taught that nothing goes on the page that doesn't go on the screen. There are numerous instances when you simply tell readers something in the scene heading instead of causing them to discover it on their own through dialogue and/or descriptions. If people go to the theater to see this movie, are you going to have someone sitting next to each audience member to whisper in their ears, "it's the next afternoon," "that's the Tennessee River," etc.? Again, you seem afraid of or uninterested in descriptions. Like most if not all reviews, this is just the opinion of one person.
Other Reviews by Tybeau 10
A review of The Midnight Diseaseby Tybeau on 03/03/2005This is a well written script and surprisingly easy to get into. Surprisingly because David could easily have been a depressing, sad, painfully tragic character, but you didn't take him in that direction. We eventually find out why he's on the streets, but you didn't dwell on his past. That's not what this story is about. I highly approve of your choice to not let us know anything... read
A review of Erasedby Tybeau on 02/28/2005This is an astounding script, part Twin Peaks, part Something Wicked This Way Comes, part One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The precisely crafted, ingeniously constructed, artfully recounted story, peppered throughout with thought provoking, philosophical bon mots and Kafkaesque imagery, pulled the me deeper and deeper, faster and faster into the maelstrom to the final, shattering... read
A review of STAGE AND SCREENby Tybeau on 02/25/2005Although this type of movie isn't exactly "my cup of tea," this script is quite well written. The characters are believable, the dialogue is real and the plot is very original. My only carp would probably fall under the heading of format: Most of the parenthetical directions (appearing under the characters' names immediately prior to their dialogue or within the dialogue itself)... read