Review of: Silent Sigh 

reviewed by jeffwinterton98 on 07/31/2009
Credited Review
jeffwinterton98
Didn't catch your name... Credited Review
The story was well written. Well versed. I could imagine myself standing next to the man in the fields. Next to the woman in the apartment. Just one thing, Who are these people? What did they look like? What are their names, I kept asking the page.

The names need to come quick. A name, no matter what it is, conveys a vision in the readers mind. I was stuck on this. Hoping to catch a name of the man in the field. But, before I could, I was forced to, now follow a woman. Will I catch her name? No such luck.

On the plane, I was guessing who the man was. I thought it may be the first man. So, I went with it. And the woman. Was this the woman from the apartment? Couldn't be. She was just in New York.

After, a long read, I finally got the names of the characters I have been following. I went back and read it, again. It seemed a bit clearer. I was able to feel something, if anything for the lost characters.

The story as a whole is a good read. The desriptions given held my mind as I read along. Albeit, my mind jumped, like a bike over a curb, as to the names of the persons.

The ending is a bit less than satisfying. Two lost soles finding each other. It does leave a 'what's next' to the reader. Which this reader enjoys. If it's done right.

More than a few of the paragraphs seemed to roll on forever. Breaking these up would make for a much better read.

To say the least, it is a good read. But the mechanics, the structure of the story, needs a bit of tweeking.

Other Reviews by jeffwinterton98 25

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    An easy story to follow. The words the writer has chosen rolls off the mind like a new sled in winter. I could easily envision Captain Seither, as he readied himself for battle. His speech sounding true to the time. There are a few instances where the words and speech escape the story. If not only to add a block between passages. " His head slammed off some rocks."... read
  • A review of Self-Murder Attempt
    by jeffwinterton98 on 07/31/2009
    I'm almost afraid to write this review. Afraid it might damage the writer further or the character. It reads as if it is an entry in a diary. There is not much structure. Or dialogue to be stated with in. I did feel a touch of sympathy for the writer. Not much for the characters. it seemed rushed. Like the writer had another pill to take. Or another glass of wine to down... read
  • by jeffwinterton98 on 07/31/2009
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