Your love for the life of Edgar Alan Poe shines through in every line of Evermore. You seem to have a scholarís knowledge of his life and works. But unlike scholarly writing that is often dry, you have figured out a way to dramatize his life in an interesting way. In some ways Evermore is like a documentary except told in a much more dramatic way.
The characters are great samples of how to write a character with depth. I like how Griswold starts off as the apparent hero but over time reveals himself as the opposite. Then Poe, who you canít help but like because of his obvious talent, is revealed as a bit of a nasty bitch himself.
Sometimes with TriggerStreet it is harder to offer feedback of the great work because I struggle to find the problems -- Iím just not that good a writer myself yet. I have racked my brain to give you some constructive feedback. Here are two suggestions:
1. Inciting Incident. Would you say the inciting incident is on page 28/9 when Griswold buys the latest Grahamís magazine and reads the article on Autography? Here he discovers that he himself is being mined for material and criticized. So the friendship that you have set up in Act I gets upset. Originally I was looking for it much earlier -- I thought it might have been when Griswold confides in Poe that he canít have sex with his wife. But this is just character set up. I would like to see the inciting incident come earlier because I think you set up the characters well enough early on. I would like to have a feeling for the direction the story is taking earlier.
2. Mrs. Clem. More conflict between these two in the opening scene please. I realize there is some -- when she pushes Poe's papers off his desk. I realize you set up Mrs Clem needs Griswold because she needs the money from the publication so she is not going to be too difficult. But I think there should be more. On page 96 Mrs. Clem ignores Griswold when she tells the publisher that Griswold refused to publish ďThe RavenĒ poem and then right after this event her daughter dies. So why isnít she angrier at Griswold?
Thatís all my feedback. Thanks for sharing Evermore. I received a great lesson in writing characters with depth plus it was an enjoyable story. So, I think I got much more out of reading your script than youíll get out of my review.
Review of: EVERMORE
reviewed by Craig Rosenthal on 01/01/2012
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