FIND THE CORE
BUSHIDO BRIDGE wants to be BROTHERS MCMULLEN or SWINGERS in tone but has little of the existential style and none of the substance that must live underneath. Character driven would be absolutely fine but these characters are not complex or charismatic even in an everyday life sort of a way. I'd suggest that the writer really look at what the core of the story is, strip away absolutely everything else, even if that left 10 pages out of the 102, and start again from there. I do believe every writer sits down to write something important to him or her and in this piece, maybe that has to do with friendship or betrayal or the loss of one's mother, but it's buried here in scenes where not a lot happens. Huge events aren't necessary, but something happening to the life of the characters IS necessary, and I don't see that here. Rather than talking about past trauma or emotions or explaining it, I'd want to see it as it drives the characters in their lives in the current story. Existential stories can seem deceptively easy to write, but are much harder to tell, and require powerful characters inhabiting a compelling environment. That's not present here, in my opinion. The writer needs to find the story's core and start there.
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Other Reviews by Melanie 5
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