Review of: The Hole
reviewed by 10pagesaday on 11/21/2011
Ghosts of Alcatraz
CONCEPT: the thought of a prison ghost intrigued me.
VIC SOLO was a recovering drug addicted low life with a mysterious past. I didn't get a feel for him. I mean what made him go to drugs? How did a low life hook up with a single mom? And his past was life was confusing. Did he kill them just get money for drugs? Did I miss it? I didn't understand the connection between him and Mad Dog.
HELEN was a weak female character. What single mom would date an ex-drug addict? We didn't know her attraction to him and why she would move cross country with him.
MAD DOG, there wasn't much to him. He just wanted freedom even though we don't get to know on how he would attain it.
ALEX was the bright spot. Video game kid who knows about ghosts.
DIALOGUE: was precise but felt like you were telling us what was going to happen instead of showing us. I think you could be a little more subtle.
STORY was confusing. As of now I'm thinking that Vic was really Peter Swain who kills his family but then takes a prisoner's identity? If that's right then it doesn't make any sense to me.
OVERALL, i like the fact that you have minimal characters. I like that your dialogue isn't clunky but yet needs more sparkle. I like Alex but other than him the other characters aren't likable. Add more depth and believability to your characters and clear up the plot of the story a bit. Nothing personal it's just my two cents.
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