Review of: The Blue Ball
reviewed by jacquesst on 08/15/2008
I must firstly say that I always like your stories and that this one was no different. The concept was very interesting and the way the story was told would be very appealable to children. The only problem I came across was the way you wrote it. At times I got confused to the tense and in the end where the perspective shits to first person I kind of lost focus. I would suggest that you clearly define that the story is being told from the beginning. It would help I think. However, I really did enjoy the overall story. Cheers!!
Other Reviews by jacquesst 41
A review of The Things We Pull From the Wreckageby jacquesst on 07/20/2010I enjoyed your story although it left me feeling somewhat sad. I enjoyed the tension between the protagonist and his wife and how the situation with the injured dog plays on their relationship and emotions. This piece is well written and I loved how you described the action taking place. I would recommend this story to anybody. Congratulations on a great short story. Hope to... read
A review of THE TESTINGby jacquesst on 12/09/2008I found this story very interesting and loved the ending. That said it needs work and is still a bit rough around the edges. I noted that various sentences were in the wrong tense, something small that leads to your reader losing focus. Who is the kid? What is his name? Overall it wasn’t a bad read and I hope that you can work on it again, which will make it so much better... read
A review of Body Partsby jacquesst on 08/19/2008Kevin I reckon they should create a new section where the person with the most short story uploads should be mentioned. That or I should get paid just to review your stories...Just kidding! Body Parts was very interesting. It was short and sweet. I would’ve preferred a longer story with more detail and descriptions. There is lots of room in this tale that can make for a better... read