Review of: SOLIPSIST 

reviewed by Momma Anne on 04/08/2003
Momma Anne
good but garbled
Can be refined to a recommend. English needs overhaul. Excessive grammar faults: run-on sentences, punctuation errors, subject-verb agreement errors, use of verb tenses other than present. Format errors: capitalize character names only when first mentioned, too much telling---must show, not tell, overuse of voice over. Don't tell director what to do---you write, he directs. Incorrect Italian and translations. Shoot-out at the end too abrupt and unrealistic. Why did they turn on each other? Need to build up reasons, disagreements, former hostilities, grudges, etc. And the added scene after the climax, what was that? Why appended then? If it's part of the plot, it should have been written in earlier. How does that scene propel the plot? If the BUM is his father, the placement of that scene is confusing.
NOTE: This review does not factor into the site rankings.

Other Reviews by Momma Anne 19

  • A review of The Platinum Shark
    by Momma Anne on 06/14/2003
    Very well-written with lots of great action. No loose ends left dangling. Good foreshadowing. Light comedic relief plays well with the tension in the key plot points. Though not too original in concept and story with too predictable an ending, it was nevertheless a very pleasant read. A novel twist could turn this sp into a very good film. I would like to have seen better... read
  • A review of London Calling
    by Momma Anne on 06/03/2003
    An interesting concept with good fore shadowing. When you have flashbacks, designate same as such, otherwise continuityof plot is disrupted. I find fault with the scene where the truckers assault Annie and Zach sits close by and lets it happen while listening to her cries for help. He LOVES her, for goodness sake, how could he not at least make a feeble attempt to help her---no... read
  • A review of New World Order
    by Momma Anne on 06/02/2003
    Screenplay format needs to be followedScene headings cannot be isolated on the bottom of a page. Needs editing especially for grammar errors. Dialogues on pp. 33 on are too long, tight and expository, TELL too much instead of showing. Some good tension in the action scenes but it's old hat. Dialogue from pages mid 80 on is too preachy, pontificating, political. P.4 Alders... read
+ more reviews