reviewed by shakespearesmuse on 05/19/2004
Credited Review
Good Start Credited Review
Overall this was ne of the better scripts I have read on this site. Although it did have some problems the dialouge was pretty solid and the lead character was pretty well written. It is a good shell but it needs some fleshing out. The climax needs more, and Eileen needs to fight it more. It all seems to come a bit to easy to everyone. Since the relationship between Allbright and Eileen is supposed to be an important driving factor in this script it should be more developed, and it needs to come around more slowly. Albrights story at the end about his captivity was rather hokey perhaps he could share more about his disease or his hoomosexuality instead of the POW story just to provide some contrast. Also the character of Jeffrey needs some majo work IMO. I don't like him. He is a whinning snivling baby and I don't blame Eileen for offing him. A few mre nit picks: I don't like the title and I don't like the names of any of the main characters. they just don't seem to fit or are to cliche (Albright) or too old fasioned (Eileen).Overall promising work though.

Other Reviews by shakespearesmuse 58

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