Other Reviews by alec_hamlin117 10

• 
  Finally, a fun version of World War II
  A review of Man of War
  by alec_hamlin117 on 07/18/2011
  So I just want to say that I love the absolute classic corny action story. It was so funny, and filled with so much good action. And it was a great combination. A lot of movies try and have comedy mixed with action, and it is very hard to make it good. Look at failures like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I digress. I was reading this and immediately thought of Jason Richards as... So I just want to say that I love the absolute classic corny action story. It was so funny, and filled with so much good action. And it was a great combination. A lot of movies try and have comedy mixed with action, and it is very hard to make it good. Look at failures like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I digress. I was reading this and immediately thought of Jason Richards as the Hoff. Yes, yes, David Hassellhoff must become Jason Richards!!!!! And Nick Chinlund would of course have to be Babbish!
  
  So I was reading the beginning and thought that Stauffen was going to be the main bad guy, mostly for how long it was. That beginning scene was almost twenty pages long, my advice would be keep it shorter, that's like the first twenty minutes of the film. With the first ten to twenty minutes, I would say your bad guys should already be at least mentioned, and the main plot should be starting to unfold.
  
  After the beginning scene, it kind of seemed very rushed to get to get the main guys to Schloss Festung. It seemed like right after they're talking to Eisenhower, boom they're there. The planning of how to get there, and what to do, seemed really short.
  
  Another thing, and this one kind of seems pointless on my part, but I'll say it. I know you were going for typical and classic old school action, so realism went out the window, but there are some stuff about military you should know that just did not make sense in the script. First off, the guy Hewitt was an Annapolis graduate, and an enlisted man in the Army. Annapolis graduates would either be in the Navy or Marine Corps, and when you go to a military academy like Annapolis, you would start off at 2nd Lieutenant or Ensign. There were moments in the script where they kept calling Jason a Sergeant, but then later called him Major. And you never address an enlisted man, Private - Command Sergeant Major, as Sir or salute them. Commander is only a rank in the Navy. At one point Kilearny is refferred to as a Captain when he's already been said to be a Major. And, going back to Hewitt, a private would not be a squad leader, usually squad leaders are Corporal - Staff Sergeant, Fire team leaders would be Private First Class - Staff Sergeant.
  
  Now onto the more important parts of the review. I think the battle with Krakow and Richards should have been longer, thought it was just a couple punches and then Krakow dies. As far as dialogue, I thought you did a good job for most of it, but at some points it started to sound like lingo from now days, and some of the lines sounded like something someone my age would be saying, as oppose to someone Richards and his team would be saying.
  
  There were some, not a lot, of spelling and grammar errors. Make sure there are none of those when you try pitching a script, because they will see that and immediately stop reading.
  
  All in all, I enjoyed reading it. You're an amazing writer, and keep up the good work. I look forward to enjoying another one of your scripts. read
• 
  I have a question
  A review of Questions
  by alec_hamlin117 on 07/14/2011
  I liked it. Really any stories dealing with brotherhood always gets me interested. The duo of the younger and older brother was good. I liked how the two of you acted with each other. It felt like it was just a scene in another movie, though. Like the story didn't quite end and didn't quite begin. I would love for this to become an actual full length movie, and I recommend... I liked it. Really any stories dealing with brotherhood always gets me interested. The duo of the younger and older brother was good. I liked how the two of you acted with each other.
  
  It felt like it was just a scene in another movie, though. Like the story didn't quite end and didn't quite begin. I would love for this to become an actual full length movie, and I recommend you write this into a screenplay and upload it.
  
  I did not understand the relevance of the girl, so explain that more. Was the discussion about the beard just to fill in time? Just to put conversation between the two or did it mean something?
  
  I liked it though; a nice dramatic story that I think would go well in a competition. read
• 
  Cardiac Arrest
  A review of Heart Attack
  by alec_hamlin117 on 07/14/2011
  I loved it. It was a magnificent story with good characters. The story had soul to it which I liked. It was a great story because within seven minutes you get really connected with Leslie. I liked the narration to it too, I think that added to the wonderfulness (if that's a word) to the characters and story. One thing you can look out for is during that little montage... I loved it. It was a magnificent story with good characters. The story had soul to it which I liked. It was a great story because within seven minutes you get really connected with Leslie.
  
  I liked the narration to it too, I think that added to the wonderfulness (if that's a word) to the characters and story.
  
  One thing you can look out for is during that little montage of blind dates, keep it shorter. The rule of three, just stick to three. It's quick, funny, and it doesn't get the audience to lose attention.
  
  But I think it is definitely ready for a competition and could in fact win. There is a strong main character, the acting is well, it is funny, it gets your attention, there is a strong beginning, middle, and end, and there is a conflict for the character to overcome. Everything is in order, it's a great short film. read