Over all I liked the script. I enjoyed the way you book ended scenes, it worked really well most of the time. The story flowed very well, though a bit too quickly at times. The end seems to tie up too neatly for such a gritty concept. Even the grittiness seems shallow at times. Jacob, Gibson and Mary seemed to come across as real and fleshed out. Simon did not. I found myself re-reading his dialog trying to here him saying it, which meant a clear picture of him was not firmly established. All of the conflict was too easily resolved. I believe you could create a real nail bitter if you keep at. Your strength seems to be the talent of revealing. You can really plan your story out. Good work and Good luck.
NOTE: This review does not factor into the site rankings.
Other Reviews by Nexis1 18
A review of Up In Flamesby Nexis1 on 02/09/2006I liked this short. I thought it had a nice set up. The costumes were great or was this shot in europe? The characters were very nice and did a good job. Lighting and blocking were very good. Your message came across loud and clear, even though you had to spell it out. The only issue was the foley. The sounds made it sound like no one was on the floor. Now I know that there... read
A review of Nightmaresby Nexis1 on 01/29/2006It was pretty neat for a father and son project. The begining was confusing. I guess it was all a dream? If so, show the boy tossing and turning before the bloody scary toys. The lighting needs work. When his face is covered he is really lit up, but when he gets up, it is really dark. Special effects that need less lighting: The antagonist, you can see the edges of the woochie... read
A review of Caught on Filmby Nexis1 on 01/29/2006Funny thing is, it could be. Seems the makers have a good grasp of the basics. Now they need to take what they have learned and go forth to expand their creativity. I liked it. It didn't seem to long. Framing was good and some of the effects with a little effort could actually be pulled off, except for the dark loney road for parking lot. Good Job