Really nice work. Your set up in Act One of the main protagonist is spot-on of Morris and his political leanings. He espouses them daily over his morning radio show. I never felt he was a caricature. It’s difficult enough to do a political satire or farce right without someone feeling slighted—but I feel you pulled it off. Your dialogue and action/exposition is pithy and well-done. I’m sure you can appreciate the word pithy with all the references to Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity.
There are some good laughs in Act One and it gets even better in Act Two. I loved the way Bigfoot and Sydney fucked with Morris’s head after the car accident. He lost the memory of who he was. Now he’s Moe—a die hard liberal… Lol. I don’t often say this, but you’re a really good screenwriter and comedy is so God damn hard.
Cynthia had the right balance as an antagonist that made Morris shine. She’s his fiancee who comes in at the beginning and end of the story at the right moment.
The ending wasn’t totally unexpected but satisfying. Overall, a top-notch screenplay. I don’t know how much help I can offer, other than to say you’re talented and keep writing!
INT./EXT. WEST VIRGINIA RURAL ROAD – DAY
Morris’ car glides along a two lane road through sun drenched hills and shady sylvan glades.
There’s no so such thing as an exterior/interior shot of a road, although I know what you meant by the action that follows.
You might want to use…
INTERCUT BETWEEN DONNA AND KEITH
While they carry on a conversation over the phone.
When it’s over.
You threw me for a loop with the heavy underling; it took me out of the moment.
Review of: Hard Left Turn
reviewed by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 03/06/2012
Other Reviews by **DELETED ACCOUNT** 3429
A review of Angels (rev)by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/29/2014Heya David, long time no see. This is the first time I've ever done a non free will review of a script you've posted. I'll do my best to justify using up your credits. :p I read and reviewed "Time Rift" over two years, and your descriptions are the element of that script that stand out most vividly in my memory. I'll say now what I expect I said then; they're short and punchy... read
A review of Are we you?by **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/11/2014This review is going to be all about dialogue. I've got to say, I never realized how negatively a screenplay can be impacted when just one component isn't in the box. Because "Are We You?" really ought to have everything in the world going for it. It's a dynamic premise, the characters are put through the ringer, and you're dealing with really interesting subject matter (9/11... read
A review of The Appointmentby **DELETED ACCOUNT** on 10/11/2014The Appointment has a strange but interesting premise. Death (personified as a ghastly old hag) arranges the moment of death with people, and then they forget. One man seems immune, so Death launches a campaign of psychological torment upon him. The story is primarily meant as a psychological horror/thriller about said man trying to protect his son, but there's some nice themes... read