Other Reviews by Beholder 92

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  Needs character development
  A review of Wallbanger
  by Beholder on 03/11/2004
  There is a simple but interesting story here; unfortunately, it's lost amongst ill-developed, one-dimensional characters. The villains are 100% evil, Christine is childish and bitchy; the love stories spring up like weeds. Motivations, pacing and backgrounds are missing. I'd advise first going back and writing a birth-to-now bio for each character. EVERY character, regardless... There is a simple but interesting story here; unfortunately, it's lost amongst ill-developed, one-dimensional characters. The villains are 100% evil, Christine is childish and bitchy; the love stories spring up like weeds. Motivations, pacing and backgrounds are missing. I'd advise first going back and writing a birth-to-now bio for each character. EVERY character, regardless of how evil, requires some touch of humanity. Take each speech and backtrack it to the character's history and motivation. Also -- VERY important -- find someone whose first language is Spanish and who didn't learn English until adulthood, and ask this friend to review each of Raul's speeches, which sound stereotypical and clicheed. Special attention should be paid to Julie's character and motivation. It's difficult to understand how such a wimpy character would have gotten this far in competition without any obvious sense of competitiveness or her own strengths. Finally, it's just not believable to portray a Nebraska family who expresses surprise that street signs and conversations in Bolivia are in Spanish. Nebraska has an excellent educational system, as well as an excellent rehabilitation and support system for injuries leading to handicaps. read
• 
  Interesting speculation
  A review of The Moor of Venice (revised)
  by Beholder on 02/27/2004
  I appreciate the way the author took a series of known facts, fictionalized them and made a plausible story. There are a few too many characters, and I would argue that we'd learn more through some intercut scenes in the courtroom rather than just the verdict, instead of a lot of talky expository scenes. This script can only benefit from cuts in scenes and characters; stick... I appreciate the way the author took a series of known facts, fictionalized them and made a plausible story. There are a few too many characters, and I would argue that we'd learn more through some intercut scenes in the courtroom rather than just the verdict, instead of a lot of talky expository scenes. This script can only benefit from cuts in scenes and characters; stick to the core few. The conflict between Rachel and Barnett really doesn't add anything to the story, and is somewhat distracting. You may want to trim or lose this element in its entirety. All in all, interesting premise that just needs some reworking. read
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  A story in search of a writer
  A review of Faye
  by Beholder on 02/26/2004
  In order to be a good writer, you must first be a good READER. I'd advise the author to enroll in literature classes, particularly those featuring writers of great power and economy like Steinbeck, Conrad and Hemingway. Next, take some short-story writing classes to learn structure and economy of prose yourself. But overall, reading more is the key. There's clearly a workable... In order to be a good writer, you must first be a good READER. I'd advise the author to enroll in literature classes, particularly those featuring writers of great power and economy like Steinbeck, Conrad and Hemingway. Next, take some short-story writing classes to learn structure and economy of prose yourself. But overall, reading more is the key. There's clearly a workable story idea here, but it's overwhelmed by dragging stage directions, awkward dialoague and distractingly bad spelling and grammar. The writer lacks skill, not talent. There is a difference. Train your skills and try again in a few months. read