I really like the impact your title conveys, it's great! When someone has an unrequited love everywhere they go is dark in a certain sense from the pain of longing, so I think you captured that very well.
I got a little confused though when the girl was in a canopy or tent with another guy, I didn't know if that was a work thing or a date? And then when the other guy leaped at her, I was lost as to why the stalker ex-boyfriend did not jump in and save her? But then I thought, maybe the new guy was just making a motion towards her to actually hug or kiss her, and in the mind of the stalker it was negative so he perceived it as threatening and in a sick way convincing himself she needs him to continue to watch over her?
Then with the twist where the girl stabs her new boyfriend, but then it is like she killed her old boyfriend - was this a metaphor to show that she had a realization that she "killed the guy emotionally who she broke up with?" I'd really like to hear your explanation of what you were doing with this film, because it is visually very intriguing, and I am so curious to know if I am on the right tract with my interpretation, or way off?
Your short film positively made me think, and again, I really feel you captured the pain well!
Other Reviews by kikibird hinlo 17
A review of The Curseby kikibird hinlo on 11/28/2011Your description was a tautology within itself - ego and arrogance - that represented the young famous writer and the old obscure writer. I found this short story to be perfectly crafted! I hope that I have the ending figured out: both stormed off out of the pub because the old man realized he was the better writer and deserved the young man's fame and publishing, and the... read
by kikibird hinlo on 10/23/2011This story is really something! I could not stop reading it! You created superb suspense, and offered originality telling the story from the point of view of a dead murder victim with successive flashbacks. I enjoyed the diverse range of characters you created and all the detail you gave that made them all very vivid. You handled the voices of male and female characters... read
A review of The Gatekeeperby kikibird hinlo on 09/27/2011I think you have a good concept for a story, but please understand what I am about to write here is intended to help you. To begin, from the quality of your writing it would be very beneficial if you got a copy of Strunk & White - Elements of Style. Your use of grammar, sentence structure, pronoun agreement, and punctuation needs great improvement. What you have here implies... read