This is a fun, original script. I laughed in a few places and smiled in many, although I have to say I didn’t really follow the plot very well – so who was killing all the zombies in the end? And why did the aliens take them away?
I think what you have here is more of a TV show than a movie. I say that because there are lots of characters, and lots of different subplots and situations. Yes – the sherriff is kind of at the center of it all – but he’s more like a link between all the stories than the true protagonist. Also – the setting is a small town with only a few shooting locations. It’s all the makings of a TV show. Especially because there’s so many plots you could make out of this situation of the undead living with the dead.
One big problem I found was this, on page 21:
How can they be murders if the
zombies--excuse me, "undead"
weren't alive in the first place?
He’s got a really good point. I mean – did they actually die? What are the rules of the story? Who gets to come back to life and why (and how) and who stays dead? Why did these particular people come back to life? How long have the undead occupied the town and why is the town lashing out against them now? If you can somehow establish these rules in an unobtrusive way towards the beginning of the screenplay – and also make some kind of link between all the zombies, some reason that these particular zombies resurrected-- it would really strengthen the script.
Sherriff Steve wondering why his son killed himself was the aspect of the story I was most interested in. And you show Sherriff Steve’s interest in figuring this out really well by showing him reading all these heavy books. And when we learn later he was at least responsible for his wife’s death, that really adds to his need to save his son.
Review of: Room Temperature (rev. 6)
reviewed by MS1 on 05/12/2009
Other Reviews by MS1 7
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A review of Rated Rby MS1 on 09/06/2009I have to say it was the title that drew me to this – more than the concept. I love the title, and it does give some indication of how you want people to interpret the movie (i.e. – tongue-in-cheek, ironic, meta, etc…), but unfortunately you need more than just a title to accomplish this. Which leads to my main critique of this script -- it’s kind of genre-schitzo. It’s Silence... read
A review of Unconditionalby MS1 on 06/19/2009Hi Kele – This screenplay has a really nice sentiment to it – a good message. It’s pretty well structured in the sense that the turns come in the right places, although I can’t say I was felt really immersed in the movie. In fact it took me quite a long time to get through this and I kept getting distracted, which probably isn’t a good sign. The second act really dragged... read