Review of: Invisible Wounds
reviewed by Skye Shepherd on 08/17/2011
Invisable Wounds Review
Your story was genuinely unique. Your descriptions were vivid. You captured the battlefield very realistically. The image of the solider having to negotiate countless bodies was downright horrendous; however, I do not know what a parapet is, perhaps explaining what one is or providing more context would be helpful. The Civil War scenes were gritty and accurate. The characters were intriguing. David's desperation was palpable. I have read several stories that were unsuccessful in telling a story from an internal perspective because they lacked the attention to detail and failed to develop the character the way your does. Also, Pete's grief was numbing. The tale went along smoothly. Even the psychotic break of an ending seemed understandably warranted; however, I found the epilogue to be confusing and erroneous. It just did not fit. I do not think it is in anyway necessary. I think ending at the story at the break would be stronger. The abruptness would leave the reader with something to think about, instead of being told what to think by the epilogue. Some stories need an explanation yours doesn't. The only exception is the Robert E. Lee quote which could be put at the front of story as a hook. My only other problem is that were a couple minor semantic errors that need to be corrected.
Other Reviews by Skye Shepherd 7
A review of Threads of Fate - The Golden Threadby Skye Shepherd on 08/27/2011Unlike, many diehard Sci-Fi fans I do not read and like everything Sci-Fi. In fact, I am very choosey when it comes to what Sci-Fi I will consume (or any genre). The reason for my digression is so you understand just how awesome I found your story to be. I believe this publishable and I hope it happens soon. To begin, the characters, story, and concept are fresh and unique... read
A review of The Violent Kindby Skye Shepherd on 08/16/2011The Violent Kind is a compelling story. The psychological elements such as Frank's narration and Victor constant testing of human behavior draw the audience in. The story is pretty sturdy and will capture the attention of fans of the psychological thriller genre. However, I have suggestions on how to improve it. The Characters are mediocre and could use some tweaking to... read
A review of Crimson Spotsby Skye Shepherd on 08/12/2011Your descriptions were vivid and engaging. I really could picture Spain. The characters were balanced and interesting. I think you could even add to their backstories to make the story even better. Maybe a flashback of Alfonso and Sandra together, or the father fighting. But really, the story is fine as is. The bullfighting scene was full of tension which was captivating... read